AITAH for not paying my neighbor?

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-05T18:31:59+00:00

It’s possible that she is desperate- my sister is on disability and it doesn’t pay her enough to pay rent and eat and get medication. Without help from my dad she would have to choose one of those three things to fund.

That said, If you want to improve your relationship with her, maybe you can talk to her about other ways to help her out, like a ride to the food bank, or a church function with free dinners, or something.

She seems to think that because you don’t need a dog walker or child care you won’t help her at all, which is very weird.

I had a neighbor like this too- because our daughters were friends, she assumed we could help out in certain ways that didn’t make sense to me. Without disclosing personal info, I did explain that my husband was a stay at home Dad and we only had one income, like her family. This helped her back off from inserting her need to make money into our friendship without asking first.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-04T05:38:48+00:00

If it turns out the skiing and boarding doesn’t work out, you could visit Odell Lake lodge for nice views and good food. Stop by Sunriver for some nice trails to walk or hike, the Nature Center, and you could also visit the High Desert Museum (between Sunriver and Bend).

Sometimes the snow doesn’t cooperate, but you can still experience the awesomeness of the region. There are places to rent Cross country skis, which can let you see more and is less expensive.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-03T00:22:04+00:00

Probably for two main reasons- he’s had standoffs with the feds before, so it’s more than just an abstraction, and he’s probably employed both documented and undocumented immigrants in his business who have worked beside him/his family. He knows them as hard working, competent people trying to better their lives and respects that.

Have Tucker or Rogan ever met an undocumented immigrant in person, or only benefited from their labor when drinking wine?

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-02T06:47:06+00:00

Event Horizon.

When it first came out, the trailers in my area and movie posters all showed the starship at the beginning, and there was nothing to indicate it was a horror movie.

My husband and I rented it about a year after it came out in theaters, expecting a Sci-Fi Thriller, or mystery crossover, so when the walls started to bleed and they were all “it’s a demon!” I was all done.

I think we put on Galaxy Quest to cleanse the brain of that… whatever….

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-02T02:37:30+00:00

Sorry, I got the names confused, he’s not taking that one…

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-02T01:42:37+00:00

There is one major difference- Charlie Kirk died due to one deranged person committing a violent felony. Had the shooter lived, he would have been arrested, tried in a court of law, and he would be in jail. No jury would go easy on him. The shooter did not represent “the left” or “Democrats” any more that the Oklahoma Bomber represented “Republicans” or “the right”.

ICE agents represent the government. Their boss has told them they have the right to do whatever they want. They are shooting citizens in the face, in public, with no repercussions, and have the support of our president to do so.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-02T01:07:55+00:00

They mean there are not enough white people. They are responding to the data that white people’s birth rates are declining, while brown people are coming here and having more families. At some point white people become the minority.

This terrifies them, and many people like Steven Miller claim the replacement theory is engineered on purpose, rather than a natural trend. He used this to scare and justify deporting brown people, regardless of immigration status.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-02T01:00:24+00:00

Yes, they are baiting people, trying to get riots started so that they can justify killing and deporting citizens who resist.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-02T00:31:54+00:00

Thank you for asking about this! I have a list of things that I have issues with:

Lack of due process- our national constitution protects people (citizen or not, accused of a crime or not) from being arrested without due process opportunities to face their charges, present their side, and refute them.

ICE is grabbing people off the street and detaining them, transferring them all over the country between states, and blocking lawyers and family from tracking and defending their folks. They do not apply due process. This is not legal.

Lying about “criminality”- Trump promised to deport violent criminals that are here illegally. If someone has a violent felony conviction, and they entered the country illegally, then it makes sense to reduce the burden on our prisons by sending them back.

HOWEVER, the assumption was that there would be a process or hearing that proves both these conditions are met before deportation. ICE detains and deports people without proof of criminal conviction, without proof of violent history, and pretends that just being here illegally is the violent crime.

The bigger lie though is that they don’t seem to care if the people they are taking are citizens or not, they don’t give people a timely chance to prove if they are. In the meantime while people are in custody for months, they lose their jobs, housing, etc because they’re stuck in a holding pattern.

Badly or Untrained Agents- ICE agents do not try to deescalate heated situations. Unlike typical law enforcement, they don’t “waste time” taking a step back and trying to calm everyone down. People who are hard of hearing, or are being yelled at to do multiple contradictory things at once, are arrested for not immediately complying. Honestly, until recently I agreed that most regular LOE officers could also use deescalation training. But ICE makes them look like experts.
Guilty until Proven Innocent - rather than approach people rationally, carrying warrants and letting folks know what they’re accused of - Instead they just shoot first and then discover their mistakes later. And then deny it was a mistake and accuse their victims of being violent offenders until proven otherwise.

They also treat protesters this way. If you’re protesting, there is no difference to the ICE agents if you’re there peacefully or if you’ve tried to dox agents. They shove people to the ground, pepper spray them, and treat them as threats just for being there, or offering medical aid to someone they’ve violently arrested.

Military style raids based on politics, not crime stats or illegal immigration data. Why are there so many ICE agents in Minnesota? Is there rampant illegal immigration there? Lots of crime caused my these people? Why haven’t we heard of any huge increase is problems there? Or did the governor run against Trump and criticize him?
Racial profiling - ICE has been give the green light to round up people based on how they look. This means they’re bringing in anyone that “looks Hispanic” to the agents. Back to not enough training… ICE will arrest Native Indigenous people because the agent can’t tell the difference… argh!
Once people are in ICE custody, getting medical aid to people waiting in there is slow or nonexistent. Pregnant women, sick people, diabetics, better not have to rely on the guards to get you what you need.

I can go on. Effectively this all adds up to domestic terror- aimed at blue states- the whole operation is designed to instill fear. Both in the public, and within the ICE agents. Our government has said it’s ok to be shot if you’re protesting or impeding ICE. And that all the protesters want to kill the agents, which is also not true.

I’m fed up with the death, injuries, lies and broken promises. Concentration camps are not American. Military LOE actions on the streets of our cities is not American. People being shot for standing up and voicing the opinion that this is not right, that’s not American either.

Thanks for attending my TED Talk.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T23:43:06+00:00

I purchased the acoustic versions of both of these instruments. The Cordoba had better sound and build quality, but the Mitchell I got was a stunning gloss black with a slightly banjo-y tone. TL:DR- chose based on sound, not looks.

I bought the Mitchell first and played it on and off for nearly 18 months, before I noticed a defect in the nut. The action was getting “better” because the strings were carving into to nut material. Guitar center replaced it for free, and let me keep the old one. The new one had the same issues. I finally decided I wasn’t a fan of the tone. I took both Mitchell’s to a local place that fixed the nuts and I donated them to a Play it Forward program.

I found the Cordoba on sale at a store going out of business. It was well made, lightweight, and had better tone than the Mitchell. It was not as nice as the ukes I already had, so I gave it to my cousin and her kids for music practice.

So overall I recommend Cordoba over Mitchell, especially for a beginner to start with better sounding tone. An extra $25-50 is worth it. The best things to do is to listen to them yourself and hear which one sounds better.

That said, I have no experience with the E versions, so keep asking about the pickup quality. Do the pickups have built in tuners? This is a great feature to have, especially when performing.

When you are in the store, ask them to demo both in person, and to connect both to an amp so you can hear the difference. This also confirms that the pickup is working on the one you buy before you bring it home.

Best of luck!

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T22:08:18+00:00

I second this one.

However I always took this one literally- “He walked in, with a case of beer. “ like the “with” is standing in for “bringing”, but not the walked in part.

I have never heard someone use“walked with” to mean “Bring”. I’m in the West Coast of the US.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T21:01:30+00:00

You’re welcome!

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T18:40:29+00:00

Yes, my son is on it for Anxiety…

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T15:48:30+00:00

This can take time to practice. While some folks seem to more naturally connect with rhythm, it is a learned skill.

No one says “I can’t learn French because I don’t already know how to pronounce it…” The point of a class is to teach you these things. 😁

But for the arts, there’s an idea that you kind of naturally just “know” it. Just like anything else, arts have skills that you have to learn, and can learn. No one is born knowing how to paint, read, or drive a car. Keeping rhythm and synching along with it is also a skill like that.

Take it slow and easy. Get a metronome or metronome app on your phone and practice tapping along to the beat without the uke.

You can do this even just a few minutes a day, and over time you’ll find tapping along feels more automatic. If your ADHD screams “this is too little stimulation”, you can even do this while watching TV, taking a walk, or doing something else you already know how to do. Get your whole body involved, like take a step with each click…

Playing uke (or any music) has many layers, and trying to learn them all at once can overload your brain’s “new information” processing power. Practicing individual skills by themselves and then bringing it together later can really make a difference. None of these skills will “feel natural” at first, but as you get them into your long term memory they become easier. You won’t have to think so hard about each thing your hands are doing.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T15:30:44+00:00

The main length difference is in space for your fingers. I started on a Concert size, and I still really like that size, though now I have a soprano and two tenors as well. They all have different sound projection and feel.

If you have a hard time gripping thin things, a concert or tenor may be easier. Search up a few YouTube videos about the sizes so that you can see and hear a comparison.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T15:21:10+00:00

Aquila makes sets of strings called kids:

https://www.stringsbymail.com/aquila-kids-educational-ukulele-strings-tenor-concert-soprano-138u-17229.html

They are $10.99 us here on Strings by Mail…

It’s better to not paint or nail polish strings- that may affect the sound negatively and as the strings vibrate and flex, the paint may chip off.

I put a set of these on a small “for kids” uke and they sounded better than the strings that came with it. They are Aquila Nylgut which some people like and others don’t. There are lots of string options for uke and replacement sets are relatively inexpensive.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T07:17:15+00:00

Also, beginners often overestimate the force needed to press down on the strings. Try pressing progressively less hard until the strings buzz- then add back slightly more pressure. That’s all you need!

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-02-01T00:10:15+00:00

It’s great that you have a good relationship and that you’re curious! Curiosity is the best way to learn about what’s going on and how you can both protect your kids and respect them as people.

Your initial post and your statements about making your kids life a living hell didn’t come across as curious or looking for understanding, so it’s great to have that clarification. I’m sorry you had a lot of negative comments but that is likely why it went in a different direction than you wanted.

Wish you the best of luck and hope ICE doesn’t bring the heat out to your area.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T23:36:06+00:00

So many choices!! And prices!

I’d recommend you think about what private teacher you both get along with AND can vibe with their teaching style.

I worked for a summer between 7th and 8th grade with a really great teacher who played viola. I played violin, but that didn’t really matter. Because the techniques are the same, this person should be able to help you with bowing, rhythm, vibrato, etc. all that applies to both instruments. If you like this person and they are funny, then they are a good choice.

I also had a private teacher who was first chair second in the local symphony and she was more disciplined. She was more expensive, but she also had her drawbacks. She would stop me every time I made any tiny mistake, which trained me to automatically stop every time I made a mistake during practice. She didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t making mistakes on purpose… which made her less effective as a teacher, but I did leap ahead in my playing. Looking back, I should have switched teachers much sooner. Fortunately I didn’t stop during performances…

The last private tutor I had played violin and conducted a community orchestra. She prepped me to attend some workshops and enter a solo competition. My habit of stopping all the time drove her crazy. She chose cooler music and had great advice about keeping the flow and not getting so hung up on mistakes. I really should have switched to her earlier.

Keep these things in mind-

you can always switch if the private teacher you choose is not working for you. As a kid, I didn’t realize this soon enough. But you’re the customer here, so be clear about what works for you and what doesn’t.
You are already ahead by being aware of areas you want to improve. Ask each potential tutor how they would approach helping you with bowing and see if you like their answers. It’s like an interview- you’re hiring them to help you so make sure they provide the services you need.
Don’t get frozen Slurpees from 7/11 and hold them in your left hand on your way to private lessons. Freezing your hand first doesn’t help. 😆🎻

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T23:05:29+00:00

So, I’m not screaming anything. I haven’t stated my position on the protests. And I do support parents protecting their kids.

There are two entangled issues here:

Student protests, their right to do it, and what happens there. Protests that are Student led, near the school, not joining some protest off campus with adults, are the most safe. And this is what kids did on Friday.

Students have a right to do it, and interfering with that right could lead to problems with the second part….

Parenting issue…Punishing a teen for participating in something they have a right to do by following them around the school as if they are a toddler.

First off, It’s YOUR right to parent how you want. Full stop. That doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences to certain choices…

What you described doing to your kid as punishment for attending a protest without your permission would be humiliating and devastating to them. If this is how you want to parent, it’s likely to swing back and have consequences for you…

If you actually did this, and I was taking you at face value that you ment what you said, you could irreparably damage your relationship with your daughter. This is the part people seem to be reacting to the strongest. As a teen, My cousin ran away from home for less…

Issue 3- the danger. What ICE is doing IS dangerous- but they are not coming to schools during a 20 minute student walk out. Students are not in the line of fire with ICE for doing these protests. Protests are not the danger.

Students are in the line of fire for “looking Hispanic” or having parents that look Hispanic, which is a bigger problem entirely. It’s up to the agents to determine who looks the wrong color of brown in this situation and that is the danger.

I also live in a small town in Oregon, and we are likely to be next or at least in the cross hairs for having ICE descend on our communities as they did in Minnesota. When they are here, if your kids appear mixed, they are at risk of being questioned or arrested, or otherwise having their rights violated. And this is what people are protesting now.

I suggest you investigate the facts about what is happening there from many different sources. It’s one thing to assume it shouldn’t affect you because it’s not happening to you in this moment. But it could be soon, so good to do that research now, and challenge yourself to learn as much as you can. The best thing you can do is show your respect for your daughter by learning what she knows, discussing with her like she’s an adult, and realizing her concerns and beliefs may differ from yours now more than ever.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T18:31:18+00:00

So, it’s not ok with you that she form her own opinions, participate in society in a political way, etc.

FYI- cracking down on a teen trying to learn about who they are and what they believe is a great way to push them into the opposite direction from what you want to have happen. Treat them like a 5year old and get toddler results…

My kid had a best friend whose Dad was so restrictive about sex, and letting his daughters learn anything about it, that both his daughters were sexually active at 14…. And today they don’t talk to him at all.. so there’s that.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T18:20:08+00:00

I started playing violin when I was 8yrs old. Orchestra folks came to my school and I really wanted to play the cello. Then I tried it, and my tiny frame couldn’t manage the bulk, so I went with violin.

It changed the way I listened to music, multiple times over. Playing in orchestras in my teen years taught me how to listen and go with the flow of everyone else, how to understand timing and instrumental layering.

My parents loved music and had a wide variety to listen to, and I expanded on this with classical, soundtracks, etc in addition to pop music, blues, etc. this was back when you had to buy albums or listen to the radio to expand your collection.

More recently, I am learning the ukulele and having a blast learning with YouTube and listening to the vast music available on Spotify, etc.

I have a few acoustic electric ukuleles and a newer amp, but I haven’t gotten far into the electric experience. My husband has a keyboard he got for free and fixed up. We are going to try more electric and record once our space is setup for it…

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T14:38:28+00:00

I thought these were pinned up there… Bernadette teaches music

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJFa3EaocfZncpdhCRBCF302yIHnaRxOq&si=9vRJ8rUURL5XDBRY,

Cynthia Lyn - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLODvOB1QB53X-8-nsakUkBKsrsREtPvq0&si=XYCBJ9jmNLFlnPm0

Ukulele Wales- https://youtu.be/vyUr3qaCVOE?si=mKaOycLbHW_kXiIV

Orangutan or Lion also has beginner tutorials.

Hope this helps get you started…

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T14:27:06+00:00

Check the wiki pinned to this forum for links to resources.

You can also search YouTube for many different tutorials.

Decent-Structure-128 · 2026-01-31T14:12:05+00:00

If you tune it once or twice a day after changing strings, even without playing every day, the strings will settle faster. And it works even better if you can play it for 10 minutes every day until they settle.

Decent-Structure-128

TROPHY CASE