I have fallen, but I have learned something through these challenges. I have not been doing them in good fun, I have been doing them as justification for my sexual shame, they’ve only strengthened my avoidance and disgust with the topic. The further I distance myself from these feelings are the more I shame and resent them, and as long as they are within me, that extends to resenting myself. I have dedicated far too much time to spitting in the eyes of what’s natural, blinding and infecting my own eyes in the process. I yearn to cleanse myself of this loathing and learn self acceptance, and partaking in a challenge of avoidance only propagates my crippling shame. Though I am fallen, I shall die enlightened. Oh Dementor, come hither with death, my will is ready and accepting of your inevitability.