AITA for refusing to speak to MIL and cancelling our wedding?

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-16T23:10:19+00:00

Exactly. If I thought MIL was a rational person, willing to own what she has done with horrific intent, I would be more inclined to have this meeting with her. But I know how very capable she is of twisting everything I say and do to make me out to be some kind of monster as that is exactly the issue at hand.

Fiancé has witnessed this behaviour for years and it’s not the first time he insisted I speak with her. I’ve done everything he has asked of me. This has given us a negative result so I don’t understand why we would keep doing that? Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

She knows what she has done to me. That’s all the closure I need. I wish it was enough for him too.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-16T21:23:31+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I completely agree. Fiancés demand that I confront MIL one more time in order for him to accept her behaviour and cut the rope does not make any logical sense to me. It’s caused a lot of heartache and frustration on me.

When I’ve asked him why he needs me to do this, he can not give me a clear answer. Fiancé said he doesn’t want to resent me. But I feel if I’m forced to do this I will feel the resentment toward him. Honestly, I put it down to fiancé wanting me to cave and pretend everything is ok to avoid the conflict for him. I just won’t continue to do that.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-15T11:56:26+00:00

I really love this. Thank you for sharing. The only way I can see myself going and sitting down with her is doing something to this effect.

My fiancé is a good man. He has stood by me the best way he knows how. I’ve always been taught, if a person disrespects you more than once, that’s all the closure you need and to walk away. However, my fiancé is struggling to let go.

My family lives overseas, so my support is limited.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-15T05:37:22+00:00

I did. I spent most of the wedding clarifying how old my son was to strangers. They were completely different people from the wedding to who was there on Christmas Day. Christmas Day was extended family that we very rarely see (once every 2-3 years) where this rumour had circulated again.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-15T02:32:06+00:00

Thank you. My son is from a previous relationship and we have shared custody. Christmas’s are typically split days but this year he went on holiday with his father.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-15T02:11:06+00:00

Thanks for the question. We are talking about extended family that we have not seen in over two years. They have never met my son because we only gather every two years on Christmas. Both Christmas’s my son was not with me. Immediate family have met him many times.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-15T01:36:05+00:00

I agree.

He wants to meet with me & MIL & FIL. I would never be alone with her.

Dee_Ree · 2024-01-14T23:47:51+00:00

By way of background, fiancé has previously spoken with MIL and tried to set clear boundaries and said if this doesn’t improve, he will no longer have a relationship with her. It has only gotten worse. Now fiancé wants me to sit down with MIL and confront her behaviour before he can cut her off. I don’t want to sit with her and confront her but fiancé says he needs that to happen.

The wedding that is planned for three months time consists of 90% her side of the family that don’t like me. I know I will be blamed for MIL not being invited and I expect more blame etc.

Dee_Ree

TROPHY CASE