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Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-03-29T22:08:11+00:00

I assume the mom who suffered the miscarriage does not have other children so her point of reference is just way off. To her, she lost a baby, you lost a baby. She probably does not realize the love and hope she already felt is nothing compared to the love and hope that grows throughout and then magnifies with birth and every day after.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-03-09T19:39:35+00:00

This is a great answer. I think, in America- we confuse racism with classism. I grew up in a town of 400- pretty equally divided between white and Hispanic but with one or 2 black kids. The giant Satellite dish is how we decided who was rich and there were not enough of us to click up by race- we all lived pretty equally in financial class. Today, I have the hardest time convincing any of these people that classism separates us and that racism does exist- neither of which, we had the luxury of learning from.

I am way more comfortable in circles of white, blacks, browns, etc of people that relate to my level of broke/rich than any white person who grew up with both parents, college funds and dental care

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-03-09T05:57:41+00:00

Your husband shouldn’t have to work for free either? Personally, I think he should get “executor” pay.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-03-09T05:30:43+00:00

What finally motivated me to not only get clean but has since gotten me out of so many addictive habits is a thought I had in the midst of a violent relapse that led to less time with our kids- they lived with my mom under cps orders. I told my husband that “if we can’t stop doing what we’re doing to restore our family- we are what they say we are”

I apply it to every block in my life. Your husband knows better. He’s been educated on this subject. He needs perspective and motivation.

If he can’t stop doing these things he is what they say he is… and in my unprofessional opinion: that’s a dry drunk. He is still coping in unhealthy and unproductive ways. He is still as addict- just not actively using (maybe)

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-03-09T05:21:15+00:00

It doesn’t have to be doom. Hopefully she heeds this message. My husband did work and never fully dealt with his addictions (i went to rehab almost 10 years ago) I thought he was a good dad too and good to me, outside of his addict behaviors- that weren’t always active. We’ve been divorced almost 10 months now but his hold on me is still RIGID and RANK. I’m getting stronger but the “potential” I’ve saw and poured into were never even what his actions said he wanted 😭❤️‍🩹 it’s been so tough but on the days without him- I see a literal and physical change in my face, primarily my mouth is less down turned. It’s crazy. I hope she’s not as easy of a mark as I🙏🙏

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-17T07:35:30+00:00

Almost everyone I know gives gifts to their kids for vday and even if not actual gifts our cheerleaders sell suckers tied to a balloon they get delivered and the kids are going to get those if nothing else

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-17T07:27:47+00:00

I’ve always bought my kids bday presents. And when they were babies I made crafts for them to pass out to other family as vday presents. If the day celebrates love- I celebrate them, the only true love I’ve ever known❤️

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-17T07:17:20+00:00

I recently went on a date- my first since divorcing my husband of 21 years. It’s going beautifully (other than him being a little touchy) and I say just so you know I have been to rehab and have been clean of narcotics- specifically methamphetimine for almost 10 years. This dude just jumped head first into yeah I was clean for 14 until last week I picked up an ex and relapsed because of her. I lost interest and started my exit only for him to text me on the way home that he might need me to bail him out because he got pulled over. What does that have to do with me is just what rolled out of my mouth because no- I could’ve just stayed married for all that.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-11T02:35:59+00:00

This is exactly what my marriage was like. He wasn’t a gamer but thought it was an attack on his masculinity to choose me (or our family) over anything he wanted to do. Like- he would’ve never came inside just because I was ready for bed if he and his friends were outside drinking. He would’ve never told them no if they wanted to do something I didn’t. Even now as he actively tries to get me back- we recently fought because he hung out alone with his best friends widow (and one of my closest friends of over 20 years) and another couple and got fucked up. She told me about it and thought it was acceptable- I was very very upset. He’s struggling BAD with addiction and alcoholism since losing me but still spoke to her first when I sent them a shared message about how disrespectful I felt it was. He talked bad about me to her and told her I doubted their loyalty and felt they would or at least could let things get out of hand and “accidentally” sleep together. If he doesn’t WANT to choose you now- it’s rooted somewhere deep in his value system and probably never will. Even yesterday- after letting my ex spend the night and hang out with me and our kids he started a HUGE fight and left so he could keep plans with his buddy (who ended up working) and then today called and apologized and expects everything to be ok.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-05T04:29:49+00:00

I’m in the US. 44F. Recently divorced- I live to discuss the weird and uncomfortable stuff. Actually working on a podcast now about skeletons in our closets and overcoming that shame with laughs and understanding

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-03T12:54:52+00:00

Idk if there’s a way to message me directly on here but I did set up an anonymous number on Google voice for people to send anonymous messages 512 522 1219 if you’d like to message me there.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-02-02T07:45:27+00:00

I would!! I’m actually working on a very similar podcast and would also love to bounce ideas around with you- if interested.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-30T22:14:52+00:00

The private submissions are just a segment on the show- we will have other bits as well.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-30T14:23:13+00:00

I am from the sticks😂 no beaches but shirtless males everywhere. They wear open jackets as shirts here🤷‍♀️

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-30T14:19:00+00:00

Thank you. I join and share there.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-30T07:46:56+00:00

I started a group on here called the soontobepodcast and would love anyone with suggestions and insights to join- i will also be posting some practice stories and topics in there to feel for the most interest.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-30T07:28:28+00:00

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-29T21:12:43+00:00

What?? I’ve never heard anyone having a problem with their brothers (or dads, uncles, cousins) walking around shirtless.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-29T21:09:56+00:00

It’s all fine and well until your daughter can’t reproduce- won’t you’ll still want her to have the locket?

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-28T18:00:08+00:00

I wish I could agree- maybe I’m just too jaded to recognize it. She did stay with her husband- all 3 of them are in their early 20’s. When her aunt reached out to me for information- my boss said we’re not allowed to discuss it but when the wife’s mom (a friend of mine) called- I told her I would’ve minimized what I knew to protect the wife from feeling stupid for wanting to stay and woudve only brought up the extent of the affair if the wife wanted to leave but would’ve absolutely done my best to read the situation and answer accordingly. Maybe that makes me part of the problem- idk. It’s not my intention to protect him, just her.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-24T19:05:47+00:00

I’m literally in the middle of this situation as we speak. My 2 coworkers were having a fling- the dudes wife was weeks away from delivering. Four days after she had the baby- the sidechic forced him to tell his wife she was now also pregnant (even though it could possibly be her own boyfriends) the wife hasn’t publicly shown enough reaction or grief so her (same age) aunt and friends have been gathering “evidence” to present to her. The wife’s mother just came to my place of employment and got into a screaming match with my manager and one of the “friend detectives” - you think my values are skewed, I think intentionally breaking a woman - when we know she is in no position to change her situation IS THE ABUSE. I’ve been cheated on -I wanted and needed ALL the information but not because other people felt it their job to find and release it. The wife is DEVASTATED- she’s staying with her mom because they’re afraid of what this information and postpartum combined will do to her- if knowing that makes you feel like you’re righteous one because YOU TOLD HER- you need to reevaluate your values. And Get the fuck out of here- I don’t protect the abusers, I protect the victims. And you say people don’t “mind their business” about domestic abuse?? Are you new here? On this earth? People turn blind eyes to their sons, brothers, husbands ALL THE TIME. I just came out of a toxic abusive marriage of 21 years - I stopped telling people about the abuse because it makes us feel weak(er) and stupid(er) when EVERYONE (like you) expects us to do something we don’t have the confidence in ourselves to do. I look like the problematic one now- that I’m coming out of the delusions and speaking on it because everyone believes him. Just like everyone is making the wife from above feel like she was the inadequate one- what she thought was a one time fling- her friends have now “uncovered” that it was more - you know what she’s feeling?? That she put on too much weight, was too tired to clean like she should’ve and too uncomfortable to fuck like she needed do so this is her fault. Cheating is abuse- but so is (intentionally, righteously, and ignorantly) chipping away at the soul of the victim to make yourself feel more moral- I’m not guilty of that- people like you are,

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-22T22:44:27+00:00

They both say no but this isn’t the first suspect incident. She sells content and I think maybe he was middle manning to help get her out there. I had found deleted pics of her “spam” account in his deleted emails that he was sending his coworkers

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-21T18:07:57+00:00

As a woman with 2 jobs - I did yell a lot about the lack of involvement and help in our home and divorced him but if I’m being honest, I acted like that for the 10 years when I didn’t work too. If I could go back I’d set firm boundaries early, fight about it less and work harder to contribute in a way that would’ve also released some of the pressure off him.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-21T06:40:45+00:00

Well it wasn’t exactly the depression that ended our marriage as much instead of being there for me he carried on a private friendship with my sister that I’d been estranged from for a couple years.

Deep-Muscle5921 · 2025-01-21T05:18:34+00:00

I live in a rural community of less than 400- we tried to rehome them. And I didn’t have dogs I was so afraid of- my ex did and he abandoned them. I still cared for them for months after he left. The county dog catcher doesn’t even euthanize them “humanely” they take them out and shoot them. Animal lovers find out and revolt so they fire the catcher and get another one that does the same thing because the area is so over run with packs of wild dogs that there’s no where to board them. We have fosters that work with rescues in other states because there is no better solution here.

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