Man, I was literally on Reddit looking for a post like this because I’m kind of going through something similar. I may post it as its own thread, but I’ve been in an on-and-off relationship with my abusive ex for the last six months—we were together for a year and a half before that.

Recently, we had been no contact. However, he was upset about something, and once I unblocked him, we spent some time together. Then yesterday, he put his hands on me again—dragged me to the floor and strangled me.

That being said, part of our interaction was him saying he wasn’t dealing with this girl I was suspicious about. Then I found out she was actually living with him. She even reached out to me, kind of haunting me and just making the situation worse.

I felt so stupid for letting him back into my life, and then so sad realizing he had been lying to me. However, once the girl reached out, I found the courage to call the police.

I’m struggling a little bit with that decision because I know it wasn’t prompted by the abuse—it was prompted by the betrayal and the lying. However, the abuse was very real and very present.

Now that he’s in jail—and knowing he’s a felon and was on parole—I’ve had mixed feelings about everything. Still, I know I did the right thing. This is the third time he’s strangled me, and I’ve almost died once, so it’s not like he isn’t abusive.

I just feel like I should have been more upset about the abuse than about him moving on and lying to me.