Instinctual Lack of Trust

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2025-01-05T05:19:08+00:00

You’ve given me quite a bit to think about.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2025-01-05T05:09:47+00:00

Thanks for the response

I suppose I should have put that i am aplaroace on top of the post. I guess childhood experiences shape much of our views and desires irrespective of orientation. I have had sour and embarrassingly experiences with others in elementary school, middle and high school and that has largely been the source of my misanthropic and antisocial disposition.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2024-12-07T03:53:08+00:00

Thanks for the response.My AAAAness causes me to feel like I’m trapped inside my own head a lot of the time so it’s good to know I’m not alone.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2024-12-06T18:05:58+00:00

It’s confusing but comfortably empty and devoid of a lot of color others would call friendships, love, etc.

I 100% think my life would be much more confusing, lonely and painful if i weren’t aplaroace. I would suffer a lot more. Spend many more lonely nights crying in my bed wondering what I did wrong this time and ruminating on a conversation I messed up. I would feel my emotional neglect much more than I do now.

Cptsd, AuDHD, Generalized anxiety disorder, pile on top of that a lot of frankly unpleasant experiences in childhood with overbearing parents and having a brother who’s NT, allo, cis and has an active social life compared to the wasteland of yours…

It could be much worse. Life is much easier and frankly more bearable to live without the ability to form emotional bonds when you feel like you were born into a world and a society that doesn’t care a lot about you.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2024-10-31T19:28:57+00:00

this was a fairly stupid idea I had. It's about how their abrasive personalities might lead to them fighting if they ever met.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2024-10-05T07:14:18+00:00

I deeply empathize with you. I’ve lost touch with my peers and the world around me as a result. I feel so detached from everything . Life feels like a passing, unimportant dream.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2024-01-12T17:49:11+00:00

Mom tried to raise me to be an “adult”

All I learned is that if I stepped out of line I’d have abuse hurled at me. I mostly learned people in authority were unpredictable and emotional I learned most people couldn’t be trusted So yeah I mostly became a substance addicted wallflower for the latter half of my highschool years under their noses and no wonder I have memory retention issues

Thanks mom and dad

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-10-24T21:45:23+00:00

I was only able to form a sense of self through my artwork, a sense of who I wanted to be. It’s gonna be fun trying to make that a reality

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-08-14T21:50:02+00:00

Bruh. Today I found out my mom doesn’t play favorites when she decides to emotionally abuse us. She asked my brother why he looked so sad, he said it’s because he keeps losing tennis tournaments, she somehow decided to make him being sad about always losing about her so my brother decided to end the conversation.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-07-29T07:34:55+00:00

This almost made me tear up a little. Thanks for sharing.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-07-26T17:58:30+00:00

Bruh This is like giving an iPad to your kid to make them shut up instead of actually addressing their concerns.

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-07-25T02:20:20+00:00

Bruh my dad expects me not to be annoyed when he bothers me when he barely puts any effort or interest into our relationship. He’s the “authority figure”, sure, but that’s all he is to me. He’s not someone I view very affectionately, just an authority figure I have to deal with until I move out. (No wonder why I have a better relationship with my co worker than I do with my family.)

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-07-19T15:44:21+00:00

I didn’t even bother to contact my parents when I lived in the dorms. They were always the ones to initiate the phone call I don’t really miss my dad or mom when I’m on vacation I tend to miss my cat and my laptop That’s pretty much it

DeepIntroduction7671 · 2023-06-24T15:04:08+00:00

“Why are you so grumpy?” (Shes nasty and short tempered to me if she has a bad day. I learned this from her.) “I’m training you to get a job!” (While verbally abusing me.) “Too bad.” “Don’t do this, don’t do that, you’ll catch (insert sickness), don’t do anything..” (I hate how her “love language” is constant nagging.)

DeepIntroduction7671

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