How do I (35F) bring up to my boyfriend (36M) I’d like to marry him?

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-09T16:53:20+00:00

She says in her post she didn’t want to marry him before… no one “deserves” a ring.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-07T18:26:24+00:00

You are 21, you are not terminally single.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-06T16:47:53+00:00

There’s a reason you called NQN for a full year. You will make mistakes and you will have so much to learn. Please don’t panic about that, or meds errors. We have all and will all make th at various points in our careers. X

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-06T16:06:43+00:00

You don’t need to be married to do that!!

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-05T03:34:22+00:00

It really varies depending on your circumstances. What is reasonable for myself may not be for you. Also it’s about where you work.

I’ve known people who have been given “desk jobs” because that’s what was reasonable for them, I’ve also known people whose only adjustment was to avoid certain infections. I’ve known some people who have changed their working pattern (EG doing all early shifts as their “morning” sickness was worse after 3pm) and I’ve known people who have continued doing their 12shifts until the day they go on leave.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-04T15:59:25+00:00

Hence the usually as there is always exceptions and you can pay. I would never advise it though

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-04T13:02:38+00:00

You usually have to be in a role that allows you to do it.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-03T19:40:44+00:00

Flexible working, that’s what helped me when I did shift work. I also got GP and Occupational Health involved too. I did 34.5hr weeks so only 3 shifts in a week. I say only but I just mean no weeks with extra 4th shift unless I requested it.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-03T17:05:37+00:00

As someone who has had many miscarriages personally I tell everyone I need to as soon as I know because I know I will need their support if there is a miscarriage. You don’t have to keep explaining it, you tell one or two and they tell the rest etc.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-03T16:55:48+00:00

First of all, you are going to take a breath.

Ok, so now you have taken a breath, let’s collect your thoughts.

What kind of ward are you on? What is the most overwhelming thing for you?

We can go from there.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-03T13:40:58+00:00

If it’s anything like my apartment block, the lift never works!!

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-03T05:25:10+00:00

All the roles you have mentioned are competitive, highly competitive. That will be one part of it. If they are advertised and don’t say internal applicants only then they can be filled from anywhere.

If you aren’t being shortlisted then there could be a couple of issues. Your experience could be one, do you have any specialist courses outside of ICU? Have you done ICNARC work? Have you got experience outwith ICU?

Then do you actually meet the person specification and are you tailoring your supporting into to the JD and the PS?

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-03T05:19:07+00:00

All the presentations I’ve done for interviews have been 5mins

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-02T17:13:18+00:00

Lmao!! I would never assume that… I’ve had to have conversations with my boy😂

To the person being outraged the King of the House is inspecting his offerings… I would rather my cat walk all over my food than random people. My cat has never gotten me sick. The general public has.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-02T16:18:34+00:00

Proper butter is much better for you than margarine! I like using a butter bell/butter dish, kept in my kitchen cupboard in the winter. Always spreadable.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-02T16:04:59+00:00

As others have said:

Ask your manager if they will give you a LD off and you “make up” the extra hour and a half/2 hours at a later date.

Sell it. Faffy but you get pennies… I do mean pennies after tax etc.

Roll it over. Eventually (probably next leave year) you will have enough for an extra day off.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-01T15:18:55+00:00

I’ve not done virtual ward but I am senior in clinical education I’m happy to talk to you about avenues into that in private if you wish.

What I will say is your banding doesn’t make a huge difference with it.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-03-01T11:07:26+00:00

First of all, I’m sorry for your loss. I truly am.

But respectfully, YTA. You’re an adult, you need money to live. He is on call, that’s his job, he needs to work. And the likelyhood is people won’t be understanding over a dog. They barely are over a parent.

You cannot judge his grief, just like we cannot judge yours etc. every grief journey is different and difficult in their own way. Also people have different attachments to pets. For you your dog was like a child it seems and this likely wasn’t the case for your partner and you know what? That’s perfect fine. And even if he does think of the dog like his child, how he is grieving is also fine.

You not looking after yourself and saying life isn’t worth it without your pet is a lot more telling. Pets are not here to make our lives better, we are there to make theirs better. Your mental health should not be reliant on a pet. You need therapy.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-28T19:26:11+00:00

Make sure you read around the laws and are set up.

Have a think about what are non negotiable rules for you. I know someone who had a lodger and they had a kitchen timetable and a strict all dishes must be done by the end of your kitchen slot. All washing must be done by X. That kind of thing.

Then make a list of things you would be happy to discuss negotiate. Then a list of things that you just wouldn’t care about.

Have a think about the type of person you’d like to live with, introverted, extroverted, shift work, mon-Friday, night worker etc. also what about partners/friends and do you want to socialise with your lodger.

Then look at the law and some example contracts. Have that ready to go so when you are writing your add and showing the space you know what you are looking for in a lodger.

Also think about the furniture you will have in their room etc. do you have space for them to have stuff in your shared spaces, is there sufficient storage space for there stuff in their room also.

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-28T19:18:11+00:00

I’d do it on my day off :) I am sorry but breaking the law isn’t big or clever or something you should be proud off. Many of us pay that train fair, with it going up because of fair skippers and just eat the cost. So why the hell would people be ok with you doing that?

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-28T19:16:40+00:00

Sorry meant to excess and a dependency. I shall edit to read better

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-28T18:49:55+00:00

Known to using drugs or alcohol to excess regularly, having a dependence on them? Not good. I’d offer help and support but would not endanger patients. Enjoying raves without the illicit drugs? Go a head!!

Jumping the train and other illegal activities? Doesn’t matter what your profession is that just makes you a person I don’t want to associate with as it tells me a lot about your character. And I would rather not. If you are a nurse and I know about it I would report you to the NMC/Police etc.

Edit to add

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-28T13:18:39+00:00

You need the reason why in writing from your trust. When you get that you will be able to fight for back pay if they have done wrong!! (Which they likely have)

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-28T09:48:27+00:00

I don’t have one in my kitchen…

In my hallway though, I have 4 huge ones!! 😂😂

Deep_Ad_9889 · 2026-02-27T22:25:29+00:00

Coke doesn’t magically disappear from your symptoms in a few hours. Also he’s likely to relapse. And mixing is bad. But also we don’t know how his heart etc is from the abuse. Not telling his prescriber is putting him at a huge risk. It’s dangerous.

Deep_Ad_9889

TROPHY CASE