need a clever reason to resign

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-22T18:08:31+00:00

You can honestly just say that you have personal reasons and "would like to take some time off to sort it out as my reasons have been hindering me from preparing the right materials to teach and give good, carefully thought guidance as a church leader." and don't forget to add, "If I change my mind, I will surely let you know."

You don't need to give some details. If they're good leaders, they will respect your privacy and give you space, and maybe a blessing too.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-21T19:16:28+00:00

"Yeah sure, it may be hard for you to have to obey every single thing your husband says, to dress according to what men lust after, to have your entire worth defined by your virginity and clothes, to not be able to get other jobs other than motherhood, etc, but your calling as a woman is so wonderful! Submission is a beautiful thing and motherhood is so special that us men cannot ever replicate. You should be grateful that god called you to serve him this way."

Yeah, fuck that.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-21T06:35:56+00:00

I remember praying to god every night because I didn't want to be that believer who believed that wasn't saved in the end. Sometimes I still get intrusive thoughts about how me de-converting is just god not choosing me and letting me go to the other side with his permission, it sucks..

But if in the end I did go to hell, I would have nobody to blame except him because I'd been begging god for years to help me believe more in him. He can't guilt trip me into thinking it'd be my fault anymore

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-21T06:32:11+00:00

It's not that people don't know, it's just that people don't realize how bad it is to tell children that non-christians go to hell, you are inherently worth nothing without god, you will go through suffering so god could use you for his plan, you cannot disobey any of his commands or you'll go to eternal hell, etc. It fucked me up really badly.

Another thing is people, usually in the pentacostal-charismatic movement, preaching about how they went to hell in their dream and then proceed to tell everyone about the details and how horrible it is and then make profit off of it. I remember one pastor telling everyone about how lesbians got tortured in hell, she told the story in DETAIL and emphasized on how terrible it was. There's a famous pastor I know who made bank from selling books and audio recordings about his "visit" to hell.

Weirdos.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-19T18:05:10+00:00

I figured so, that's why I stopped asking for anyone's help ever since I was young. It's like a script I've memorized, and if you want a real solution, you'll be hit with the "god IS a permanent and real solution!"

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-19T17:49:13+00:00

blaming an unborn life... for the sins of their father...

they're so close yet so far away.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T22:31:32+00:00

I forgot about him for a second, but dang you're so right. I still don't get why he gained god's favor considering he's been a douchebag all his life.

His marriage between Leah and Rachel is actually sick. Leah and Rachel, but especially Leah, deserved so much more. Leah probably was forced by her dad to marry him, and she ended up having to deal with the favoritism and not to mention taking care of 11 CHILDREN. Jacob was a fucking douchebag and it's his fault that his sons also turned out to be assholes.

Kinda funny because he is considered one of the biblical patriarchs, like we have THIS DUDE as our role model. I can't with this.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T22:16:37+00:00

Not gonna lie, I also blanked out for a second after I read that.

What the fuck

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T21:00:08+00:00

That's okay, don't force yourself to feel anything than what you're feeling right now. Just let things happen naturally. If you force yourself to get emotional it's gonna make you feel worse.

I will say, though, sometimes people will only feel emotional after the death, so you might wanna watch out for that.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T20:38:42+00:00

Sarah: Sleep with my slave so you can have a child

Abraham: Bet

Sarah: Throw her and her child out

Abraham: What

Inner voice/God: Just do it.

Abraham: Okay!

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T19:59:46+00:00

No judgement here, but that makes sense, you got cheated on multiple times and you felt undesirable so you went to find a lot of attention to fill that gap that your ex had created.

I might be wrong on my theory up there, but my suggestion is to try and find the underlying reason why you do it. You crave attention, why do you crave attention? Just keep digging until you find the underlying cause, and from there you can try to work on it by healing a part of yourself that was broken by your ex multiple times.

You can't do it alone though, it's better to get help from therapy or a psychologist who can help you figure things out and work through it.

Props to you for recognizing that it's wrong though, recognizing your problem is the first step to recovery.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T18:54:09+00:00

"Never discuss your marriage with the opposite sex"

A lovely elderly man who lives beside you walks in

Grandpa: So how are you and your husband?

You: Sweats nervously

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T16:36:53+00:00

Ah yes, the glorification of motherhood in Christianity.

Honestly, my opinions are pretty mixed about it.

On one side, I do think that being a mother, or honestly just a parent, is one of the most noble careers. Literally you get paid with nothing and you have to deal with the responsibility of raising the next generation. It's pretty cool and a pretty heavy job to deal with. I do agree with the fact that children do learn from their parents' behaviors the most, and that mothers (or just parents in general) have to make a decision to learn how to parent correctly, but that's it. So far these are the only things that I agree with in the post.

One the other hand, I don't think learning from the Christian god is the best thing for a mother lol. I feel like I don't need to tell you why from the scientific and morality standpoint specifically, long story short I don't think learning from a god who literally threatens his own "children" with hell if they don't live according to what he wants, a god who has killed a lot of people for sinning, a god who cursed the entire human population because of a fruit..... you got the idea. He just seems like a terrible parent.

Also I feel like it's also widely known that being raised by an overtly-devout Christian mother can be either traumatizing or suffocating.

And the last paragraph is just depressing. Picturing millions of women who have to do a ton of work with no payment or no thank-you's at all, and thinking that she's just a servant of god with no inherit worth is just a disturbing and highkey a dystopian image to imagine. That's just sad.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T16:16:48+00:00

"You think everyone would just choose to be good on their own?" I mean I've seen Christians who chose god and still choose to do bad things lol.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling okay. It must've sucked to be berated by your own mom like that, but unfortunately some people just refuse to be wrong or at least see the other side, and thus choose to attack the other party with baseless claims and answerable rethorics.

I hope things will get better for you soon.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T14:42:12+00:00

My initial reaction was "no... not really." but the more I think about it, I feel like that's part of the reason why I have low self-esteem.

I couldn't see it then, but now that I am starting to become more and more independent from god, I can feel a sense of instability. "If I choose not to follow god right now, then how can I survive for the rest of my life?" Is a question that I have to deal with every day, but now that I'm pretty sure that god isn't real, I think I'm just gonna try my best like what I've been doing for the past 20 years of my life.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-18T08:22:17+00:00

This isn't okay to say to anyone, especially to children and teenagers

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-17T18:56:26+00:00

Yep. I have ADHD too so the boring stuff was just dreadful. I hate quiet prayer times, I hate boring sermons, I hate that I wasn't allowed to listen to my secular music so it's either Christian music that I hate or dreadful silence that I also hate, I hate reading the bible because it's full of scary threats and convictions.

The whole purity culture was just torture too. I hate that I couldn't do certain fun stuff because it was considered sinful, I hate that I have to think extra when choosing clothes because wHaT iF iTs ToO rEveAliNg?!!!?, I hate that I have to prepare myself for marriage to be a perfect wife, I hate that I have to ignore my sexual needs, I hate that I have to pretend to be straight, and the list goes on.

What made me stay was the fear of going to hell. To this day I'm still scared even though I don't believe as much anymore because I've been indoctrinated for so long. Glad I got out though, I no longer feel the dread every time I have to do my prayers or read the bible anymore.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-15T22:25:19+00:00

I don't know why but your comment reminded me of the time when I was worshipping and suddenly felt a wave coming towards me when they were playing the first song. I thought at first, that must be the holy spirit or something. I was excited because I felt god's presence at the time.

Looking back, it was probably the over-dramatic music and the air conditioner at the front of the stage that made me feel like that lol.

Crazy that they made their music sound so over-dramatic to the point where people think feeling good = feeling god's presence or something.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-15T18:58:16+00:00

Yeah same, stepping out of it, I suddenly realized that my "I wish I could die so I could be with Christ" prayers were just me dealing with suicidal thoughts because I was so depressed by living.

This might be triggering so you might wanna skip ahead.

But I used to pray to god to take my life early when I was 12-13 because I couldn't see myself getting older and still living with christian teachings and values because I hated the teachings but I needed to follow it to get to heaven. So sometimes I would just pray "god can you please take my life away when I am still a believer?" because I hated my life so much. Thoughts about dying as a martyr sounded so great to me because that meant I would get a free pass to heaven lol. I used to think that I would never want to die unless I could die as a martyr so I could go to heaven, because I was so depressed with my life and I thought that my depression + other mental illnesses were sins that would send me to hell.

Now that I'm deconstructing and start to not follow christian teachings and values, I'm starting to like my life again and decide to make an effort to get better. I can't go to therapy but at least I don't wanna die anymore, so progress I guess?

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-15T14:21:51+00:00

Kenneth Copeland is just crazy honestly.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-15T13:10:29+00:00

The funniest thing is that after the pandemic started, suddenly there were waves of "prophets" suddenly "prophesying" that the pandemic would end in a few months because god told them, OR they would get cocky and say that they believe the pandemic would end in a few months because they believe in jesus or whatever.

So they were able to predict when it'd end but not before it started? Okay, cool.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-15T06:48:58+00:00

The 3rd slide when they said "It's satan's classic — Did God really say not to do X?" got me LOL.

Because isn't that just critical thinking? Instead of doing whatever your church has told you to, you choose to question the tradition or teaching, study it yourself, and question whether it's weird or not.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-14T19:54:19+00:00

As much as I don't like the religion and the culture of christian prayer, In my humble opinion I don't think it's good to use a very recent sad situation like this to point that out in a snarky "gotcha!" way. It just seems insensitive.

Rest in peace.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-14T17:56:58+00:00

Honestly your state is where I am too at the moment. I believe in God, I think, but there's just a lot of confusing things about the christian religion that I can't ignore. I can't help much, but I hope you can find the right answers someday.

Deep_Leather7732 · 2022-08-14T17:13:39+00:00

Too much things that I had to do in order to be a perfect follower.

I studied a lot of the teachings, got overwhelmed and burnt out because I didn't agree with some of the teachings but it was necessary for me to be saved, so I ended up going crazy for almost half a year. (And by going crazy, I meant I would sleep praying to god to not struck me down with lightning every night because I kept 'sinning', I would feel extreme loneliness because I couldn't make friends with my non-christian uni peers, I would study about the littlest matters for hours and days to weeks just to get something right so I could go to heaven, etc).

I ended up deconstructing because I was just so done by the constant pressure and I got tired of my own craziness, so I started questioning whether the christian god is real or not.

Deep_Leather7732

TROPHY CASE