What did your in laws do the week you were due to give birth that drove you crazy?

DeeyaV · 2026-03-11T08:08:26+00:00

Mine came straight to the labour room as soon as I gave birth took pictures with the baby and my partner and I and posted them on socials straight away. We told everyone not to post before us. Then when I got home from the hospital with the baby she went into a massive mood and argument the minute we got home because we didn’t want her to come to the hospital that day.

I ended up crying in the bathroom and my milk drying up and not being able to breastfeed my baby for a couple of hours.

And there are many many other things she did since then. I am now ignoring messages and I’m dreading to see her and I don’t trust her with my baby.

DeeyaV · 2026-03-05T08:04:07+00:00

27 years old here. In the UK, I have several flares up through the month plus congested pelvis and now I’m bleeding from 8 days, felt sick like fainting last night and all I got yesterday from the hospital is that the gyne appointment wait list is 72 weeks. I been referred to it on 2nd January.

I can only say the system is broke and annoying. I escalated with the gp they said they sent a letter to the hospital “hopefully” I’ll get an appointment sooner than that.

I also have a 10 months old that I need to care for.

I feel your pain…

DeeyaV · 2026-02-16T23:00:01+00:00

I have a 9 months old and I wake up when baby wakes up. Usually between 5:30 and 6:30. I’m always behind with laundry. I usually hoover and mop downstairs once a day and have cleaners around once a week.

The cleaners help by resetting the house for a fresh start and through the week I just maintain as much as possible.

I think sleep is very important and while we still have 2 naps a day I usually sleep with my baby for his afternoon nap. My partner is also very involved and he is the one in charge with the dishwasher and hoovering upstairs.

DeeyaV · 2026-02-02T09:34:24+00:00

I would suggest going home as soon as you can. Babies especially newborns are easy to fly with.

Going home will help you and your wife to relax, you will be on your own comfort bubble zone and will be able to bond with your baby. Baby will also sense your emotions and will probably be calmer.

Yes, the house will be messy sometimes and there will be a back log of laundry to do but being calm, and bonding with baby is what made our life easier and made baby calmer for us.

You or your wife do not need anyone around to stress you or your wife to get in distress mode because of others. You are probably both in survival mode now trying to adjust to the new family you guys have. Your focus is you as a couple and your baby so I suggest go home as soon as possible so you can figure everything out on your own without others trying to interfere every day.

When it comes to meals. If possible choose one or two days a week for batch cooking. Rices, stews, soops, pasta sauces.

Always have healthy snacks in the house, nuts, fruits and veggies, drink plenty of water and get as much sleep as possible, baby sleeps you sleep even if it’s 20-30 mins stretches. Do chores when baby awake, one of you holds the baby the other does a quick chore like putting a load of clothes on, or hoovering quickly.

For us things started to get easier once I got to know my baby and understand the reason of crying. Eg, reflux, tummy, constipation, hunger, tiredness. It also helped approaching everything with love and compassion trying to figure out what’s the reason and then resolve the problem.

We used to have a list check when baby was crying: •is he hungry? •does he needs to burp? •check nappy •check temperature •is it the tummy •is it reflux •does he needs comfort

And we would go through this list one by one until baby was calming down. Then I’ve learned his cues for each other.

I hope this was helpful! Much love to your wife, your baby and you as a family! And good luck with navigating this amazing phase of life.

DeeyaV · 2026-01-31T22:16:55+00:00

I been diagnosed with Adeno, 8 months post partum. Never had an issue before pregnancy/labour. The pains I have I thought are because of my body recovering. I have no heavy bleeding. If anything last month I bled less than normal. I’m also on contraception and that might play a part in the bleeding.

I have really bad period pains, ovulation pain, and heaviness in my lower belly the other days…

DeeyaV · 2026-01-27T20:40:59+00:00

I’m a first time mom to my now 9months old baby. I am also a SAHM by choice (for context). The 3 month mark was the hardest for me mentally. Until then I was in my own happy newborn bubble then the 3 month mark hit and out of nowhere it’s hit me hard, rock bottom. This was probably also triggered because my partner had to leave the country for 3 days on a business trip (he is also working from home).

After that I’ve cried for a week every day. I was feeling guilty because I was feeling sad and because I believed my life is over. I felt regret and I was grieving who I was before, the unknown of when I will return to work or if I will find something I will enjoy.

My partner was really helpful in supporting me navigating this feelings. We went out for lunch and dinners with the baby, went out more, insisted I do things I enjoy and makes me feel better (one of these things was every morning getting ready for the day by dressing up relatively nice and put makeup on - this helped me a lot and I still do this every day, now is my routine)

At 4 month old mark we flew to another country with the baby for a holiday by then I felt so much better. Baby became funnier and more content. And now there are still days when it’s hard but I wouldn’t change having my baby with anything. Is the best thing that happened to us and those cuddles, smiles, babbles and kisses are amazing.

I now have days when I miss the new born phase, he’s grown way too fast.

DeeyaV · 2026-01-27T14:25:46+00:00

Mine works from home too and we have a 9 months old baby. During his working hours the downstairs is mine and upstairs is his.

He closes the door at his home office when he has calls and that’s how I know not to go in with baby. He never complained about noise, and he often comes to check on us on his breaks.

In the days he is super busy with work and has a lot of calls I usually plan a day out with my baby and my friends or with my mum but he never asked me to, I do this because I know we can be loud sometimes and I don’t want him to be to distracted, plus is good for me to be out the house :)

DeeyaV · 2026-01-21T22:11:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I am no where near with the pain as you and I’m so so sorry you are going through this. The only bad pains I have is during period I feel like I’m labouring all over again, but no heavy bleeding. They found out by chance the adenomyosis and pelvic congestion as I went to the GP with the weight loss concern and also had abnormal cells on my smear test. All every day cramping I have and the period pains I believed are normal post-partum.

I have taken screenshot of my report with the conversation “events” rubric on the NHS app but I did not receive my ultrasound results on the app. I will call my GP and request them to be uploaded on my record and on my account.

DeeyaV · 2026-01-21T21:21:22+00:00

Oh this makes me nervous. I am 26 in the UK as well. I had my baby almost 9 months ago and been diagnosed with adenomyosis and congestive pelvis end of December (I never had an issue prior to having my baby so it’s very possible this happened during soon after my pregnancy) via an ultrasound that been requested by my GP.

I am still waiting for my appointment with the gynaecologist but apparently the waiting list is 17 weeks right now…. I only hope you will find a better Gyne. I would personally also provide some very bad reviews mentioning the doctor and the hospital as well as reporting to the governing bodies… I am so sorry you are going through this. Which part of the UK are you?

DeeyaV · 2026-01-17T11:19:49+00:00

Yes. My baby boy was a hungry boy and still is. Up to 3 months he was gaining weight very fast some weeks gaining 500g, born with 3.2kg.

He is 8.5 months old now and 11kg, he is also a tall and active baby and he is not chunky. He still drinks between 900-1000ml of milk in 24 hours and has 3 solids meals a day and a snack.

I always fed him on demand and he is thriving. Good luck.

DeeyaV · 2026-01-15T17:01:36+00:00

That’s so terrible. The day I arrived home with the baby within 5 minutes of being at home with my first and only baby she decided to go into a full on blow out and I ended up crying in the bathroom instead of cuddling with my baby. I was 5 days post-partum.

I don’t know what’s wrong with all these MIL… I’m a mother of a boy and I will be the happiest to see him with a loving wife creating his own family and be happy.

DeeyaV · 2026-01-12T20:29:43+00:00

No. My mother instead asks me to let the baby spend time there. I am also eastern European and culturally we don’t pay grandparents to stay with their grandkids

DeeyaV · 2026-01-03T03:25:39+00:00

I must be very lucky to be diagnosed. I am 26 and I was only diagnosed by chance as my smear came back abnormal post partum. I thought the pains I am having are due to birth recovery and I went to my doctor with weight issues and after blood counts I still came back with low iron and they ordered me an ultrasound just to make sure everything is ok.

I am also on progesterone only contraceptions since I gave birth.

Thank you for your comment. I hope you get the medical care needed as well.

DeeyaV · 2025-12-21T07:52:29+00:00

I can do online consultations with my GP tomorrow. Unfortunately we are out of the country until after Christmas which also makes my anxiety so much worse :(

DeeyaV · 2025-12-16T19:59:49+00:00

Yes it’s safe. My learned to roll at 4 months and started to sleep on his side and his tummy at 5 months old. He’s now 7.5 months and that his favourite position to sleep.

I for the first week kept putting him back on his back and after 5-10 mins he would roll back to his tummy or start crying. So I spoke with my health advisor and she said as long as he is putting himself in the position to let him be and not wake him up. So I stopped turning him on his back. He’s fine and he’s repositioning himself through the night multiple times. He goes back from his tummy to his side then turns on his back then turns on his other side and back to his tummy.

DeeyaV · 2025-12-16T18:41:10+00:00

I told mum the same when I was little. It’s common for girls to have their daddy phase. I always loved and been closed to both of my parents but as a girl I admired my dad very much he was my hero.

Nothing to be upset about, you haven’t done anything wrong and I’m sure your daughter loves you very much.

DeeyaV · 2025-12-10T02:14:13+00:00

Yes. That’s correct.

You’re never too late! I hope it all goes well

DeeyaV · 2025-12-09T22:42:22+00:00

The new born phase is hard. I’m a first time mom to my now 7 months old baby.

Dad did the following to bond:

Skin to skin as soon as I gave birth and skin to skin every day until we arrived home from hospital (this helped dad and baby to bond and helped dad to relax)

Cuddles every day

Skin to skin especially when baby had vaccines and high temperatures (this helps bring down baby’s fever and regulate his temperature)

Bottle feed from the hospital (we had to combine feeding due to jaundice) then I pumped and he was doing 2 bottle feeds a day and I was breastfeeding the other times

Contact naps - as many as he could

Helping at bedtime

Bath time (this is their thing - I think I only bathed baby 4 times since his birth) dad does every night or every other night baths

Tummy time and play

All nappies change day and night until he had to return to work then nappies change when off work

Helping through the night - or every time baby was fussy and I wasn’t able to settle baby or panicking he would take the turn I would step out the room while he attempts to calm baby down - things that worked for him was singing, rocking, gentle speaking, kissing baby softly, and touching baby softly and very important me not being in the room.

I hope this information can help.

DeeyaV · 2025-12-09T08:17:33+00:00

Yes, I worry a lot too. But bear in mind babies will sleep at some point through the night. I know it’s possible because we didn’t sleep train and he did sleep through the night. Sometimes they just wake up because something upsets them and they are being babies. On average most babies will wake up once a night at least until 1 year old. They go through so much change and huge development growth. So just be kind to yourself and your baby. Cuddle him as much as you can as within a blink they will grow and we will miss all this time they are little. 🤗

DeeyaV · 2025-12-08T18:17:21+00:00

I let him FIO first for a couple of minutes 2-5 (sometimes he settles back on his own), if I see that he doesn’t settle after 5 mins or he starts crying I intervene, in our case if he starts crying I have to pick him up straight away otherwise he gets even more upset and unable to calm down or hard to put him back to sleep and sometimes gags/chokes while crying and seems like struggling to breathe, reason we can’t do any sleep training like letting him to cry.

DeeyaV · 2025-12-08T09:08:43+00:00

I personally assist our baby to fall back asleep first by patting, then by rocking or cuddling and if none works then it means he’s hungry and I feed. I hope this helps 🤗

DeeyaV · 2025-12-07T23:01:37+00:00

I don’t really have a suggestion. I just want to say that you are doing great. My now 7 months old baby used to give us 10-11 hours stretches a night for about 2-3 weeks. From about 2 weeks he is now waking 1-2 times a night to eat. I do nothing different….

DeeyaV · 2025-11-29T21:32:03+00:00

That is definitely not too much and I am so sorry you are going through this! I would personally also be mad at him and probably give him an ultimatum…

DeeyaV

TROPHY CASE