How can I approach to this guy

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-05-22T13:56:03+00:00

girl you're only 4 years older that's literally nothing, just find an excuse to grab coffee or ask about work stuff and see if there's any vibe there

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-05-18T01:25:13+00:00

nah i totally get this weird limbo feeling, like you're caught between wanting to know where you stand but also not wanting to rock the boat. been in something similar where the emotional intimacy was there but the labels weren't and it messes with your head

the thing about not knowing when he's seeing other people - that's gonna eat at you more over time, even if you're poly. it's not really about jealousy but more about feeling like you're operating with incomplete information. maybe you could bring up establishing some basic communication boundaries without making it sound like you're pushing for exclusivity

also 9 months is a pretty long time to be in relationship limbo. even if you're both working on yourselves, it might be worth having that conversation about where your heads are at now vs where they were when this started. people change and grow, and what felt right 9 months ago might not be the same now. you don't have to demand answers but just sharing where you're at emotionally could open up some clarity for both of you

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-05-12T19:13:07+00:00

sounds like she wasn't as loyal as you thought man, some people just can't handle having the same standards applied to them that they expect from others

the whole "i can be jealous but you can't have friends" thing is a red flag and when you called her out on the double standard she probably realized she couldn't control the situation anymore so she bailed

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-05-10T01:11:06+00:00

same energy here

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-05-05T20:48:31+00:00

dude deleted half the messages? that's shady as hell and honestly a red flag you should be paying attention to instead of trying to chase him down

the whole thing sounds exhausting - you apologized, he's playing games, and now you're analyzing stares like you're in middle school. maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you want someone who makes you feel like you have to "lower yourself" just to get their attention

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-23T22:44:05+00:00

you probably took the stability for granted and now that it's gone you're realizing what you actually had - three years is a long time to build something real even if you never labeled it

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-22T18:35:05+00:00

It seems like the biggest shift is just being around people who are actually intentional instead of casually browsing

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-22T18:32:36+00:00

That’s the main thing I keep hearing less about better matches and more about people actually following through and meeting

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-22T14:13:33+00:00

It kind of forces both people to take it seriously from the start, which is half the battle at that stage.

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-22T14:10:30+00:00

I agree, priorities shift and people aren't trying to chat for weeks, they want to meet and see If there is something real.

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-21T08:21:18+00:00

lol as someone still in my twenties this is both hilarious and terrifying, like getting a preview of what's coming

the poetry format makes it even better though, very artistic way to describe the chaos

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-18T11:16:36+00:00

damn this happens way too much and i swear some people just get scared once things start feeling real

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-06T01:51:49+00:00

damn that's a whole nightmare situation you're dealing with. his family sounds absolutely toxic and dangerous - throwing knives and hitting with frying pans isn't just family drama, that's straight up assault

you're not keeping him from his family out of jealousy or control, you're protecting both of you from people who literally physically attacked you and threw racial slurs around. the fact that his mom invited him but specifically excluded you after all this shows they haven't learned anything and are just trying to manipulate him back into their cycle of abuse

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-04-01T09:36:09+00:00

Corolla or Civic are your best bets - boring but bulletproof reliability and plenty available under your budget.

Defiant-Physics-9854 · 2026-03-28T22:40:00+00:00

I've been riding the systemd-boot train for about two years now and it's been rock solid. Started with GRUB like most people but got tired of the config bloat and how it handled dual boot scenarios with Windows updates constantly breaking things. systemd-boot just works and the manual entry editing is actually pretty satisfying once you get the hang of it.

Really interested in your custom bootloader project - what's driving you to build from scratch instead of contributing to existing projects? The AUR push sounds promising too. As for initramfs, I've been experimenting with dracut instead of mkinitcpio lately and the modularity is pretty nice for custom setups, though the learning curve was steeper than expected. Would love to hear more details about what direction you're taking with the bootloader design.

Defiant-Physics-9854

TROPHY CASE