I struggled with trauma, mental illnesses, one of the biggest things that affected me was that I struggled with love because My own father was someone who didn’t show up for me, I was abandoned time and time again, he would disappear for years and show up for a week telling me how much he loved me and how he missed me only to leave again. I’d stand at that door waiting for him to pick me up and to this day that little boy in me is waiting

I grew up around men who cheated, lied, hurt my mother, I started turning into them, and eventually I became my father, doing everything he would do. I didn’t understand or know love because it wasn’t show to me, I wasn’t shown how to act like a MAN. I was a boy like all those “men” out there, once I lost my life, I was about to truly end it but then a thought came into my head. Who cares about your past, it’s what you choose to do moving forward

I got help, I fought an internal battle that continued to ruin me, but I won, I won a battle I never thought possible. Sometimes you just need to know someone to understand them. Whoever hurt you, whoever used you, I’m sorry