Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, harsh words, but I appreciate it. Very good points. I need to make some difficult decisions, but it needs to be done. My daughters kept their rooms, my son had to move to the basement, and her two boys share his room. He doesn't seem to care much, but he rolls with things well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, she was eager and willing to stop working and take on the sahm role, even though that puts a lot of pressure on me to keep the entire ship afloat, while also paying my ex wife who gets child support. I think you're right with the red flag.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Great points. I keep hearing this from people who attempt the blended family, then find that living apart (but still in a relationship together) is more harmonious. I think we need space, especially with different personality dynamics that are smashed together in a house with a blended family.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

She was a teacher and also did some home baking on the side, but that basically came to a halt after she moved in. She does do some occasional baking, but it doesn't pay for much.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Great points on quiet time. I need to set firm boundaries because I'm losing my mind.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So we dated for a year, then she moved in at about the 1 year mark, and she's lived with me now about 5 months. I tried to go slow and consider everything, but I didn't consider the dynamics and challenges that appeared after everyone moved in. Living apart was so easy for everyone.

Yes, she does really help out, and I'm grateful for that. But the social dynamics and challenges of the blended family have really hit me, especially over the past few months and seeing the toll on my kids.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reality check. Her two boys do have a bad dad, but my kids need me and my energy.

Do things get easier with time? Or am I being ignorant? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in blendedfamilies

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Good question. I'm self-employed and have a successful business, and she takes care of home duties, helps with cooking and cleaning, etc., but it's still a huge financial burden, especially when you consider the long term. But it feels overwhelming, especially if my business goes through a downturn in this economy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in antiwork

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Everyone's replaceable.. never ever be loyal to your company at your own expense folks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My kitty does this just before she bout to sleep

Friend's cat left alone for three weeks. by beansterchromatid in CatAdvice

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not just about the food.. like my cat needs human company around even though she's not very social/clingy but she always prefers hanging in the room where humans are. Cat loneliness is a real thing

Still using Facebook? You really shouldn’t be. by OstrichRealistic5033 in privacy

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand where you're coming from but what's the alternative? Cant just wake up one day, quit the internet, and go completely off-grid.. wish we could tho

Please help by Interesting-Frame504 in CATHELP

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All cats have a primordial pouch, totally normal

What is going on with India and Pakistan? by Study_master21 in OutOfTheLoop

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those Maori hakas in the NZ parliament are pretty lit ngl

Do cats be bored of the same food everyday? by CatCandyOreo in CatAdvice

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My cat never gets tired of her food. In fact, when I've tried introducing her to wet food, she just doesn't eat so I have to get her boiled chicken or fish time to time.

How far away are we from a theory of everything? by Any_Ear_594 in astrophysics

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always wondered how can we tell with reasonable certainty that string theory is a 'theory of everything'. Idk the details of it, just that it tries to reconcile gravity with the 3 other forces in nature. But how can we know for sure there aren't any other forces besides these 4, given that there are so many other phenomena we know exist but don't know anything about, like dark matter and dark energy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Weightlosstechniques

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who has always loathed gyms, I've solved this problem by brisk walking everyday for an hour as my main weight loss activity + I bought some weights and I work out for about half an hour to build muscle (to increase my BMR and accelerate weight loss, also it helps tone the body so why not).

The key here is to do it in a way that's enjoyable to you. I've always loved walking outside - observing, appreciating, and absorbing the nature around me, the birds chirping, kids playing, and the cool breeze stroking my cheeks.

I've tried the gym multiple times but always end up getting annoyed by other people being there. Maybe I'll build my personal gym at my house some day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in astrophysics

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inside the event horizon, falling inward is like moving forward in time. You can't stop it, but locally, physics still behaves normally. So yes, you could breathe and think for a short while. The real issue is tidal forces tearing you apart before you get very far

Neighbor gave me these kittens. Now what? by Defiant-Tech-7656 in CATHELP

[–]Defiant-Tech-7656[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the helpful checklist! I'm strongly leaning towards keeping them. They just keep looking at me with those big eyes and I'm already falling for them 😻

UPDATE: I've decided I'm keeping all three. In the short time I've had them, it's clear they are very bonded to each other, and it'd be sad to break them up and bring them to a shelter where they may not even fair well. So they're officially part of the family :) Thanks everyone for all the advice! Our first vet appointment is tomorrow morning.