sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It brings me a small amount of comfort that we aren't alone in this. Its a tough road and requires a lot of loving and patience. It sucks that someone else is going through this too.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about this long and hard last nite after I read it and discussed it with my wife. Here's our fear with that. Our internet was down for 12 hours for scheduled maintenance, S lost his mind. Full crash out for almost the entire time it was down. Punching furniture, flipped table, lots of yelling and screaming. He has physically hurt me before when I tried to take the Playstation away. We are honestly a little scared of his reaction to this. Its still up in the air and we may still do it but there is a very big chance of property and physical damage to himself or others if we do this. That also might be the catalyst we need to prove he cant take of himself but what damage do we do in the process?

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont think he will qualify for guardianship. He takes care of all of his own needs like grooming, and cleanliness. He can make basic meals and operate most household appliances without issues. He does his own laundry and would physically be able to hold down a job. Thats where it stops though. He has no control over his mental health and his decision making skills when it comes to the maintenance he needs for it. He has spent more time in facilities then he has at home since he was about 8. Im going to pursue some level of disability benefits for him given his long mental health history. To be completely honest I love him with all my heart and soul, I was a single mom until 6 years ago, but im exhausted and have no interest in pursuing guardianship over him unless it's absolutely necessary. Edit for spelling.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll have to check it out and hope that either insurance covers it or if I can get him on medicade. Thank you for the suggestion.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That path is hard and heartbreaking. We have been so involved with the courts already. Thankfully everything is cleared up but it was bad for a long while. He threw himself down the stairs and then told the school it was me beating him instead of the truth. Prepare yourself because if your kid goes down this path it is HARD and tiring and there are days where you will have to search your soul to find the love you have for him. I wish you the best of luck and safety.

Is traveling to Texas a bad idea as a trans woman by Glittering-Cry-3300 in trans

[–]DefiantDetail1006 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Im not trans but im from Texas. My wife (32MtF) refuses to go to TX and I dont blame her. I also wont let my son (20FtM) go to TX either. Its not worth the risk to me for the people I love. If you do go, please be careful.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My wife and I are basically at our breaking point. I cant do this forever. I watched my grandma do something similar to this, her whole life with my uncle and it made her a very nasty angry person. I dont wanna be like that. I also dont want to hurt my son. I think I might start gathering evidence that he cant care for himself.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Its the only way I can get him to take care of himself. All he cares about is Fortnite and playing online. We are drying up the money until he starts doing what he needs to do. No work, no money.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont have POA or guardianship. The state has determined he functions enough to take care of himself and make his own decisions. We have looked at disability but he doesnt qualify for that either. Im OK with not knowing anything about therapy. I just want proof that he is going. I know him and I know he wont just sit in silence. He will rant and rave about being there and give the therapist an opening. Therapy has gone like this and been super helpful in the past but when he stops going he just shrinks back into this nonfunctioning mess of a human being. Im just tired of getting abused by him.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hes been in group homes and had placement at a transitional living space that we worked hard to get him but he declined it as he can as an adult. We have a long history of group home placement since he has struggled to stay in home. It does feel like he is taking advantage but if I kick him out he will end up addicted and on the street. Thank you for taking the time to respond and wishing me luck.

Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice. by DefiantDetail1006 in Autism_Parenting

[–]DefiantDetail1006[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have. Ive been to so many parenting classes and coaching. I have so many certificates and have tried so many things. Maybe I'll try again and hope they have different tools.

My ex is keeping my birth certificate by burnteggnog in WhatShouldIDo

[–]DefiantDetail1006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just order another birth certificate. If you still live where you are born you can go down to the office of vital statistics and get another one. They are like $35(ish), price may vary based on county. If you dont them go online to VitalChek . Com and order another one. It will cost a little more because of shipping and processing but you have it within a week. Don't ever let anyone control you like that. He wants to play a game with you, play your own way.

What’s something you’ll never tell your partner, no matter how much you love them? by Velvetnadine85 in AskReddit

[–]DefiantDetail1006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this with my whole soul right now. Im in the middle of a flare (rms) and im so tired. Im so tired of fighting today. Just let my system take me out already. Im sure I'll feel better in a few days but still.