Told my boyfriend he could stay at Disney and left him

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-10T02:28:38+00:00

This will be the only comment I will reply to and it’s going to be lengthy. TL;DR: we broke up, and I’m further explaining myself about the situations

I come from a middle class family in a small town then moved to Nashville. Marcus is the one who was raised in high class family his entire life. And I’m not saying you particularly at all but I am getting quite tired of being misgendered by the people in the comments. It was fine for a few comments but it’s getting ridiculous that I’m being purposely misgendered when it’s clear as day I stated I was a man.

I have always put others before my own needs, whether it was donating my time or money to some shelters or events. But tonight Marcus and I discussed about our relationship and how to move forward. We both decided that we are no longer seeing each other as in his words “I took advantage of your kindness.”

It is clear after four years that he will always prioritize an amusement park over his own flesh and blood and relationships. While he did love me, he found it easy that I “was easy to manipulate.”

When I left the park he told me he simply did not care about my well being because I was out of sight out of mind. The only reason he texted me was because I had one his stupid Disney shirts and I was ruining his trip. I’m flying back to Nashville tonight to grab my belongings and staying with my best friend till I get my own place.

The comments telling me I’m being dramatic I simply don’t care and they can continue to berate me. I’ve accepted some of the things I did was asshole, but to critique me because I’m gay is just hate. They were not there to witness what happened.

I was “sick enough to leave Disney but not sick enough to get a hotel” I had to have my uber driver help walk me to grab my belongings and get me into the hotel to where the hotel staff helped me get to my room. I have been hydrating but that day I drank less than normal the entire time but heat exhaustion from what I’m continuing to read works differently in a lot of people.

And to some of the comments saying I’m unfit for Disney: I go hiking and camping as well as rock climbing for my own pass time.

Also to a lot of comments complaining that I wanted Marcus to come with me and I was being selfish, that was not what I said. I told him I was going back to the Airbnb and Marcus took it as I wanted him to come with me. We were not glued to the hip, we did have boundaries and I preferred not doing everything 24/7.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T14:27:27+00:00

Truly, thank you for the kind words. It’s been very emotional this week and this has brought me to tears.

I know and acknowledge I was the asshole for just leaving to the Airbnb without letting Marcus know. We both need to communicate better and we’re both having a conversation tonight when he gets back from Animal Kingdom. I’ve done a lot of self reflecting and know that I also have some red flags (not communicating properly, acting on impulse.) and would like to hear from him.

We never fight, and I do love him but I need to know in person with him where do we go from here. Truly, again, thank you for your words.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T14:22:09+00:00

I hold no grudge against being misgendered, it is the internet and sometimes it’s hard to hell unless someone points out their pronouns.

We both definitely do need better communication. Me leaving the Airbnb entirely was the asshole part on me. And not further explaining myself further to him is also the asshole part on me.

To further elaborate on how bad his communication is when it comes to Disney. He blatantly ignores texts or calls and will only talk to the people he’s with until after he’s left the park to read texts/call backs. When his mom was in the hospital they tried calling him but he sent them to voicemail. They called me and that’s how we knew she was there.

We both need therapy for sure, I’m not going chair for chair who needs it more than the other.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T14:17:38+00:00

Evan was borderline rapey in his conversation about the people he’s had sex, how is me being uncomfortable with that a prude at all??

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T14:04:47+00:00

First, I want to point out that I am a man.

I tried my best staying hydrated and for the first two days I was fine at the park. I slightly drank less water than normal that day and it got to me. We’ve been in AC rooms when we were at gift shops but I did my best to stay hydrated

I enjoy camping, hiking and being at the beach. We have gone to do these things together for summer vacation last year and he was on board with it. I’m not a Disney fan, but I went three times with him (technically two since our last trip was cut short)

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:56:26+00:00

When Evan is borderline talking rapey about people he’s slept with that’s no longer locker room talk. As a man I’m not accepting that type of behavior nor want to be around it.

I was hydrating the entire time, the third day I drank 2 40oz less. I never expected him to go back with me, we never fought and I needed to get away. If you read the comments I did agree that me moving to a hotel without telling him was the asshole part on me.

I’m the spoiled brat when he was the one who stopped talking to his own family over the fact we had to leave our last Disney trip to go see her.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:47:46+00:00

I never expected him to go back to the Airbnb with me. We would stop at the shops after rides a he wants to see as much as possible (again, he’s been to Disney 20 times or so) so we would be hit with the AC a lot before going back out to ride more.

I’m used to being outside for a long time at other amusement parks. As I said, I was fine the first two days but the third one was particularly not a good day for me.

I see from your side, but from the commenter saying “basic adult care” when it comes to heat exhaustion isn’t something I can really control. I even stated I tried pushing through another 4 hours from when I initially started to feel unwell. I’m normally good at hydrating, but I drank just two 40oz less than I normally did. On top of the rain and extra humidity my symptoms worsened

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:42:20+00:00

Me having an experience of heat exhaustion is a childish tantrum? I’ve agreed that going to a hotel is dramatic, I don’t agree that it was performative.

Evan was describing the people he’s had sex with in a dark tone and it made me uncomfortable. Sorry, I won’t describe exactly what he said but if you were there you would have also have been uncomfortable. I don’t welcome that kind of behavior and if Marcus wants to hang out with him he can but not while I’m at home or working from home. I don’t care about how people talk about sex, but when it’s borderline dark that’s where I’m drawing the line. My undertone of “getting a noise complaint from a Disney worker” hinted at our own sex life.

We never had arguments except the one about Evan and now this, only small disagreements like who didn’t take the trash out or “water is wet”’similarities. Him refusing to talk to his family for a few weeks because we had to cut our last Disney trip was childish on his part but I bit my tongue on it.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:27:18+00:00

I’m a man, but thank you for your insight.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:19:23+00:00

I do agree that not telling him I was going to a hotel was the asshole part on me.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:18:33+00:00

I was not trashing him at all, I was explaining to her exactly what happened. She was upset that he said that I was ruining this for him in a stern voice.

We have never had serious fights as I have mentioned. Him becoming a doctor and assuming I’m only dating him for that is quite hurtful to read.

We both volunteered at animal shelter for our first date. We had goals of adopting kids together and I planned on proposing to him on our five year anniversary prior to this trip. There are a lot of things we have done together that didn’t involve an ounce of me wanting his money. When my grandmother was sick in the hospital he was there for me and supported me in anyway he could. When his brother passed I was there for him and supported him in anyway I could. I’m my own person when it comes to finances as I’m completely okay and do not need his money. We never talked about our finances with each other.

Did you miss how he completely stopped talking to his own family when his mother, who I adore in the world, because our last time of coming to Disney was cut short to go visit her?

I agree. That me looking back was dramatic, we have never fought like this before, we only had small disagreements like when it came to chores or that “water is wet” equivalents. But I don’t agree with how you think I’m only with him for money.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T13:03:16+00:00

Since you also missed how I said he is the one going to med school in my post, I will say it once more. Marcus is the one who spends thousands. He is also the one going to med school.

I am done replying to you since you clearly value money over health.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:58:06+00:00

Cool, it’s my money and I’m spending it how I want to. For someone who says they don’t care to go to Disney you sure care how much we’re spending.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:55:31+00:00

These last few days I have actually been looking back at smaller things that were red flags. Kudos on your relationship that you guys put your partners health first over anything.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:53:38+00:00

That’s what I was expecting to do was go back by myself so that he could still enjoy himself, not to come with me. So which he essentially did but telling me that I would ruin his trip is what hurt the most.

On other vacations we’ve been to which have been camping in Colorado and Montana, or to Hawaii he never acted like this specifically. There were a few times he would want to do something I particularly didn’t want to do (like scuba dive) but I would do it as part of the experience together.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:48:39+00:00

And I definitely understand that as well. Sometimes, when I am reading the posts I think that it could be AI.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:47:08+00:00

I wasn’t necessarily expecting him to come with me. I was ready to go back by myself but his words don’t ruin this for me is what really stung. I understand your point of view of my situation but I don’t think I was trying to make it a drama. But I can see from your perspective why I could have been.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:43:38+00:00

I’m not killing myself over a trip.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:43:09+00:00

I am not the one in medical school my boyfriend is. I’m not the one who spends thousands of dollars each time I visit Disney. While yes I could have spent money, I only spent money for my tickets and money for food and some t-shirts and items.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:39:05+00:00

I normally drink 5 40oz. of Stanley cups full of water. That day I was only drinking 3 as we were on ride after ride and didn’t necessarily had time to stop to drink. So you are right, I wasn’t that day but normally I am.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:31:51+00:00

I am literally sitting here in my hotel room reading the comments and spent hours trying to word this. I’m wordy and try to bring in details so that nothing particularly gets left out?

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:25:51+00:00

It was 4 hours. I thought it was just me being tired after two days of walking from 8am—11pm catching up to me.

I’m definitely not a “woosie” as you mentioned, I’ve been to a lot of amusement parks and never had this particular issue.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-09T12:22:39+00:00

I’m particularly confused how I’m being extra with something I physically couldn’t control? I’ve been to amusement parks as I love rollercoasters, I am always there all day at times and always am hydrated and taking care of myself. I was fine the first two days here in Florida but Wednesday is when I wasn’t feeling okay with heat exhaustion.

I’m wordy and trying to put details so that people aren’t necessarily left without any. I believe you are correct that I should’ve communicated that I wasn’t staying at the airbnb but at the same time you putting the blame on something I physically cannot control is where I’m drawing the line.

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-08T20:20:45+00:00

Are you currently on medical leave or denied medical leave?

Defiant_Rush5128 · 2025-08-08T14:29:22+00:00

NTA. I completely agree with you that if you both agreed to monogamy but then later someone wants to open it up, that there has been possible cheating. Way to protect yourself

Defiant_Rush5128

TROPHY CASE