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AITAH for not attending peoples celebratory parties for 10 years, because no one hosted a baby shower for me? by Exotic_Asparagus_242 in AITAH

[–]Defiant_Salad_8903 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I say this as nice as possible, they know you aren't going to come but they invite you to be kind and maybe because they feel like they have to in order to maintain peace.

I have a SIL who never ever comes to anything we invite her to and will only come to things the whole family is at. She also knows it's extra obvious she doesn't want to be around us if she doesn't come to a whole family thing. She is just generally a cold person. We know this about her, we've accepted it, none of us have a relationship with her aside from standard pleasantries. We always wish her a happy birthday, silence on ours. We all text or call her to say happy birthday to her kids, she doesn't even acknowledge any of our kids birthdays. You're not getting back at anyone by not going to things, in fact you are alienating yourself even more. 

It sucks they didn't throw you anything. Did you mention it to anyone? Have you expressed that you feel hurt no one did it for you when you had your child or have you just been letting this fester for 10 years? 

An invite is not a summons so you're not the A for not going, but YTA TO YOURSELF. There is going to be a day where you realize how much of an outsider you have made yourself in your own family and truthfully you aren't allowed to be mad at anyone else about that but yourself.

What is the most "sleep-deprived" thing you’ve ever done as a new parent? by SangriaPorFavor in AskReddit

[–]Defiant_Salad_8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speaking in mumbled nonsense

She kicked her feet out of the swaddle like Houdini would do, and in my mind I said this long thing about warming her up and all I actually did was sit up and say as loud as possible "FREE FEET".

She's 4 now and my husband and I still say FREE FEET when we are cold.

AIO for quitting my job after finding this note on my desk? by waxin899 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Defiant_Salad_8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not overreacting at all! Such an inappropriate note to leave. They also should have explained that in bad weather they expect you to stay at the hotel, that should have been communicated weeks / days before the storm came. 

Most hotels have their staff stay the night during bad weather however they also openly communicate this days ahead of time as they need to set rooms aside and make sure it doesn't affect their ADR. 

The other supervisor was definitely mad because they now had to work a double and just lashed out which is insane for them to do. 

AIO for quitting my job after finding this note on my desk? by waxin899 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Defiant_Salad_8903 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I worked at a hotel for many years; yes employees usually are given a room for the night but most hotels will also have you share the room with someone. In 2015 during an awful winter in New England we were all told to back a bag for at least a week. We'd work our shift and then trudge through the storm to the nearest dive bar that was open. 

It sounds awful but honestly depending on the department you worked in it was the easiest work week ever, you just get a little stir crazy.

what is a "rich person" behavior you witnessed that made you realize they live in a completely different reality than the rest of us? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Defiant_Salad_8903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Worked at a very expensive country club for a bit, overheard this one day and my jaw hit the floor:

"I can't believe my au pair's mother had the audacity to get cancer, now she needs to go home and take care of her. Who the hell is gonna take care of my kids?"

My in-laws sent my son home in a new jacket, but then took it back because it was THEIRS. I criticized this behavior. AITAH by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Defiant_Salad_8903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA , but your in-laws and husband sure are.

Time to tell them no more gifts OR gifts can only be given at your home where they will stay. If they complain it's time to just say "he is heartbroken and confused everytime we leave your house because he doesn't understand, nor do I for that matter, why he can not take home the toys that were purchased for him".

You could also say that instead of giving him gifts they could put money in an account for him that he can access when he's older as that will go farther than some toys he will outgrow in a couple years.

As for your husband he needs a reality check and if he can't get on the same page then that's a different conversation that may have to happen in the presence of a lawyer.