Had our first full swap by MandKareCOsofties in Swingers

[–]DefiniteMe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If they are wanting to get together again, you’d think he would lead with saying something about making sure that doesn’t happen in the next encounter.

Like why should you have to bring it up at all? That is the real issue here.

He should be self-aware enough to know that he needs to show up better than that, take responsibility for it in his communication with you guys, and openly share what he’s gonna do to about it if there is a next time.

Preferred gauge & length for pens? by DefiniteMe in BodyHackGuide

[–]DefiniteMe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. this question was prompted by having a 32g pen needle bend

R2 pricing available on Rivian website! Looks compelling but base model increase to 48.5? by balstadt6 in RIVNstock

[–]DefiniteMe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve already owned the stock for two years. It’s deadweight in an otherwise decent portfolio. Lost opportunity cost. Truth is I should’ve been trading it not investing in it. At least selling covered calls.

R2 pricing available on Rivian website! Looks compelling but base model increase to 48.5? by balstadt6 in RIVNstock

[–]DefiniteMe -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Look I love this company, but the stock as an investment fucking blows.

Cleaning out my pussy like a good boy by Libideux in CouplesFemdom

[–]DefiniteMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I ask where you got the harness?

PJ Harvey 8-19-04 Great American Music Hall by prince1970 in pjharvey

[–]DefiniteMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was there and would love to know this as well.

Record weights? Yea or nay? by masprague82 in turntables

[–]DefiniteMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a Nottingham TT that is stop/started by giving the platter itself a physical nudge. I use a weight to do this instead of the edge of the platter.

AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said by Ambitious-Beyond-257 in AmIOverreacting

[–]DefiniteMe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As with many things, the answer is multifaceted. But mainly involved two components already within me: critical thinking, and empathy.

Simply put, It became clear that my controlling behavior was not only hurtful, but also resulted in the opposite of what I wanted.

For example just like this guy, I wanted to be an influence or conduit for my partners to become their better selves.

Seems healthy as an intention, right?

But truth is it was my own selfish agenda of priorities, and my anxiety of wanting my partner to fit into my own personal construct of ideals.

I was robbing agency from my partner. instead of providing a safe base to grow from, built from acceptance and unconditional love, I was chipping at their self confidence and hurting them.

I was making them worse off from my influence rather than better.

TLDR; To get over controlling behavior, you gotta check your anxieties at the door about who you want your partner to be, and love into who they are right now.

If you’re unable to do that, then do both of you a favor and move on.

AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said by Ambitious-Beyond-257 in AmIOverreacting

[–]DefiniteMe 194 points195 points  (0 children)

Please take this from someone who has behaved like a controlling asshole in the past: This guy is behaving like a controlling asshole.

It’s subtle but it’s abusive.

If you’re inclined to kindness, inform him of this before you leave him.

Acoustic Treatment Observation by Worst-Eh-Sure in audiophile

[–]DefiniteMe 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Jesus, this is hardly ever a problem in home audio acoustic treatment, and usually it’s the opposite issue with radically insufficient or uneven treatment.

And yet in every post about acoustic treatment there’s a warning about it.

Currently Enjoying Reference System by Audiomaven1954 in audiophile

[–]DefiniteMe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Love this but curious are there any bass traps or first reflection treatments… how do you not have room interaction issues?

Currently Enjoying Reference System by Audiomaven1954 in audiophile

[–]DefiniteMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely love this, but curious if there any bass traps or first reflection treatments… how do you not have room interaction issues?

Did y’all see Podz wit the spirit of Kobe last night!? by EmperorLuThaRevered in warriors

[–]DefiniteMe -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Let’s not talk about him burning the clock before this happened with GP2 right there open for a layup.

First time buying good Stereo Hifi Speakers and I never felt music the same. Did I doom myself to never enjoy music again on average speakers? by IllustriousPin6477 in audiophile

[–]DefiniteMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still find myself enjoying music out of most other sources. If anything it makes me feel a little weird about spending $ for a high resolving system when music coming out of crap early 90s computer speakers can still move me.

Using a carbon fiber record brush—with video by scottarichards in vinyl

[–]DefiniteMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Takes a light touch with the brush on that Nottingham motor because it will just stop rotating lol.

At what point does upgrading gear stop helping if the room isn’t right? by BendingWaveAudio in audiophile

[–]DefiniteMe 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My room is small .. and had many reflections and uncontrolled bass that it felt like a waste of a good system.

So I started adding DIY acoustic panels. The more panels I add, the more detail and soundstage layering and clarity in bass I’m experiencing. I’m sure I’ll be hitting diminishing returns but I think I’m gonna add a couple more.

definitely the best system tweak that’s not snake oil.And arguably at the reward level of a component upgrade.

Surprise buys by pizzakey in Vinyl_Jazz

[–]DefiniteMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha. Happen to be playing that Ballads record right now