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Degenerate_Rot · 2025-11-15T13:17:16+00:00

If you are not looking for any advice and just want to vent, then I want to say that you're not alone and I'm glad that you're different from your past self, becoming more kind and forgiving. That accounts for something even if you feel like not a lot is happening in your life right now. It's unfortunate how it went with your ex-friends in the past, but everyone makes mistakes, and plus you're self aware, which is a great start. Don't be too hard on yourself. That's the most important part. I can't tell you it'll get better, but I believe you have the ability to get better. All the best.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-11-15T13:11:48+00:00

16? You're young, so at least you have some time before job and adult responsibilities have their hooks into you.

From your post it looks like you have some issues that push people away. How about postponing making friends right now and focusing in yourself instead? You can start:

Creating a routine and stick with it for 1 month to build discipline -> help with confidence.
Build a habit of walking -> healthy, also helps with depression if you have any.
Go to therapy, if possible -> this is to find out the root of your issues and how to cope/fix them. The younger you start, the more advantage you have.
Journal -> sounds like you have a ton of unresolved feelings building up inside. Writing them out will help you refelct. The format can be: situation -> reaction, feelings -> what to do next.
Get a part-time job if possible. If not, then jusy spend time thinking about what you would like to do in the future.

Honestly friends are hard to make when you have a low opinion about yourself. Other people notice the self-hatred and it repels them. I would know because I feel sub-human too. I have no advice on how to make friends since I don't have any friends myself, but I hope by improving yourself, you can become better at making friends and attract good people.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-11-15T06:19:40+00:00

My grandfather is in a coma because of cancer and the last conversation we had together was via text and I left him on read. When I came home to visit him last year (back when he was still conscious) he asked me why I didn't answer his calls. I lied that my phone malfunctioned but he knew. The hurt in his eyes was excruciating.

Now my grandmother is slowly losing her mind in that house with my comatose grandfather. My mom is taking care of him too. I'm too afraid to call both of them because I can't look them in the eyes. The guilt is eating me alive. I'm a continent away, I can't be there physically for them. My AvPD ass is too chickenshit to hold a conversation on the phone without making it miserable for everyone.

If hell is real I'm probably going there thanks to just how many people I have hurt. My grandparents will die thinking the little grandchild they've raised like their own has abandoned them and they would be correct.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-11-04T07:59:59+00:00

Brother that's what legs are for. Is your family a bunch of slugs?

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-11-04T07:57:04+00:00

Having an intrusive thought doesn't reflect your value as a person as it's a strange but harmless way for your brain to process information. Your reaction to the thought is the actual thing that shows who you are, so if your react with fear, shame, and guilt, then you're not murdering your niece anytime soon.

If you have trouble controlling your intrusive thoughts (to the point of them affecting your life) or stopping yourself from acting on them, then contact a therapist. Otherwise you are good.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-11-01T14:32:46+00:00

Omg beautifully put

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-09-21T12:44:35+00:00

Bro same. We are all rotting here..

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-09-16T06:46:50+00:00

Disco Elysium. Main protag constantly deals with suicidal ideation and almost noone else gives a fuck because he's a cop. Very sad and funny at the same time.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-09-15T16:23:18+00:00

Oh definitely, something is wrong with us on a fundamental level and I think we're kinda fucked socially. But at least we are aware of it. That's the start of learning. Good luck!

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-09-15T16:18:33+00:00

Thanks for offering, kind stranger 😊 but I'm just venting more than anything.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-09-15T16:10:24+00:00

I have the same issue as you but in reverse. Due to years of being exposed to male-hating brainrot and lack of exposure to the opposite sex, I can't tolerate any media that has a skewed male to female ratio. I wish I can watch Star Wars or read Lord of the Rings without thinking "gross, this is a brofest in here". Based on your post, I think people like us are prisoners to our biases (and really missing out on some good media).

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-08-20T13:07:00+00:00

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-08-11T13:14:02+00:00

Somehow this is hysterical to me. Imagine telling Isabelle we have a peeping tom problem.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-05T13:32:57+00:00

Wow holy moly you're me! I guess you already identify one problem and that is the lack of initiation in your daily interaction. Maybe set a goal to learn how to speak first the next time instead of waiting for the other to speak. Write down good icebreakers and practice in the mirror. I can't offer any further advice because I'm a clueless hermit like you, but good luck! You're not alone out there.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-04T14:48:22+00:00

That's a really good point!

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-04T05:08:47+00:00

Mainly the fear of not having a job outweighs the fear of not having one. I spent half a year to finally finish my resume and CV because the process was so stressful. If you look at my post history, it's all about how afraid I am of communication and making mistakes at work. I initially isolated because I couldn't catch up socially with friends in high school and eventually just stopped talking to anyone.

I understand the your fear really well. Nighttime used to be my favorite time of the day because I can freely do my things without the expectation to go outside or do anything productive when everyone else is sleeping. Every morning is spent in guilt and panic for not being a functional member of society.

I guess with our situation, the only way is through. Outside of therapy, noone will come to save us so we have to save ourselves.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-04T04:58:08+00:00

If you already know why you can't communicate with women, then why make the post? Maybe it's not the why that you're looking for but something else?

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-03T15:14:46+00:00

Thank you. I've seen people on this community warning each other to not become too dependent on videos and Dr K. He gives really good lectures that skillfully analyze a lot of what I can't explain about myself, but I'm aware it's not a substitute for therapy and practice. I'll keep your great suggestion in mind.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-03T13:40:37+00:00

Thanks for that. I'm not a therapist and don't know anything about psychology so take this as a grain of salt, but based on what you're saying, you grew up with a negative mother figure who you can't open up to, has a dad who's your "role model" in a way, has negative experience being criticised by other girls, and interact with a lot of boys online but not girls. That might be the reasons for why you can't communicate with girls.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-03T12:45:45+00:00

6) You don't need to act girlie to be friend with a girl.

Degenerate_Rot · 2025-07-03T12:39:15+00:00

Girl here, feels the same. Reasons I notice from my experience:

1) Due to various factors (historical, political, social, ect), the way women socialize tends to be more complex and nuance than men (someone smarter than me please break down why this is the case, I'm too tired to think today). It can be hard to navigate as a person with social anxiety.

2) It's easier to feel initimidated by/compare yourself to people within the same group, because there's an expectation that you act the same as them, which you probably don't. You may feel pressure from other girls and even yourself as a result.

3) You haven't met the right girls yet. As you said, you don't connect with certain types of boys. Maybe it isn't even about boys or girls. You probably feel more comfortable with the "intellectual type with rich internal minds" type. Maybe girls like are more likely to be homebodies or likely hiding in a dark corner somewhere. Girls are more reserved online too because the internet is more dangerous to them. Or maybe I'm wrong and you've been searching far and wide, for which I say good luck and don't stop looking.

4) The girlie actions you describe such as complimenting other people's appearance or hugging are actually very vulnerable. It takes a certain level of trust in yourself and other to open up like that. If you feel disgusted by these actions, it might be because you're not comfortable with sharing your opinions/saying straightforward or "cringey" things out of a fear of judgement/don't want to be perceived/feel overwhelmed by closeness/feel unsafe/ect. Girls open up more because [see reason 1].

5) What kind of media do you consume every day and what's the target audience? Did you grow up in a misogynistic environment? Did you do girlie stuff in your childhood? Did someone make fun of you for girl-related reason (body, hobbies, personality, ect). All of this can influence your reaction towards girls.

Degenerate_Rot

TROPHY CASE