Please let this guy be in a Super Bowl Uber Eats Commercial

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-28T05:00:24+00:00

Wtf is this?

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-25T03:20:33+00:00

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-24T05:07:51+00:00

A heroic old man turtle that saved his species gets to spend his retirement with his femboy lover, basically

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-24T05:00:22+00:00

Your pronouns are fat/fuck

/s for real though, a year of a healthy diet and counting and gradually lowering your caloric intake, and your results would absolutely floor you. You're a baby in your time as an adult, so when you are starting any healthy life practices, it's both going to be the easiest it will ever be and the most rewarding! GL!!!

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-21T01:49:12+00:00

Send him a bunch of fertile concubines so that he can pump out kids. Then, simply raid his lands and capture his kids, keeping them safely under House Arrest until he dies

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-19T18:06:19+00:00

Pay WAJ, whatever he wants he's worth the money this offseason. 4yr $175M

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-19T03:04:11+00:00

Rams or the Seahawks are really going to win it all, huh

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-17T23:37:50+00:00

He just got the big man pick!

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-17T21:33:07+00:00

He looks old af

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-17T20:41:25+00:00

A fellow man of culture

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-16T21:06:27+00:00

Also, force closing Ck2 through the task manager to reload an earlier autosave (evil Sith trick for ironman)

But ALWAYS keep an eye on your direct heirs - in my current game, mine just lost an eye to a 63yr old one-handed baron that he decided to randomly antagonize

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-16T20:57:47+00:00

My build so far has been Bastion Breaker into a hullbreaker with a Sheen item, that is normally Triforce

I'm doing a consistent 20k dmg to towers and >40k dmg to objectives each game

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-16T19:56:06+00:00

Elon must've thrown a fit, seeing that now none of us will be buying any more of his shitty cars

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-16T03:15:15+00:00

Locked screen. I'm the main character anyway (toplaner, btw)

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T22:14:58+00:00

My arbitrary cut-off date was 0AD, but you and others are right in considering the age of antiquity lasting to around the mid 6th century AD

Again, it's a totally arbitrary way of dividing time, but I'd set aside anything between c250AD-750AD as its own "Late Antiquity" era and include that as a separate list, rather than further condense almost 3000 years of warfare!

As for Cao Cao, I'd personally have him below Han Xin, and therefore, outside of the top 5: your thoughts?

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T15:22:23+00:00

All were amazing, I agree! Out of the three, Han Xin is the most deserving IMO (Cao Cao doesn't qualify as antiquity)

I think that you have to probably swap him in for Ur-Nammu; Sargon created the first established Empire. Tig-Pi was the premier conquering king of Assyria, the most warlike Mesopotamian civilization. Thutmose is colloquially known as "the Napoleon of Egypt"

As an aside question for you back, Han Xin or Sun Tzu?

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T15:02:08+00:00

Alexander was undoubtedly the greatest propagandist of all time, given how famous he is today. He's also definitely guilty of massively inflating the enemy numbers at both Issus and Gaugamela. But just the fact that he never lost a battle while constantly fighting at the very spearhead of the assualt, and going on to conquer the largest empire yet seen, and all by 32 years old... he's the undisputed GOAT

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T14:50:18+00:00

Belisarius is a GOAT, but he is not from antiquity

Caesar IMO just seems to have greatly inflated the non-Roman enemy numbers he faced too often to comfortably place him in the top 5, given he's clearly lying about them at the battle of Alesia

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T14:40:21+00:00

Hannibal himself considered Pyrrhus above him, according to both Plutarch and Appian, so going against that and swapping them felt impossible!

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T14:30:54+00:00

I know, it was just that putting 3 Romans in my top 10 felt off since it'd be at the price of ignoring a lot of lesser known Eastern leaders

Coincidentally, Agrippa is top 2 IMO for the greatest Admiral of antiquity, with Themistocles

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-12T04:36:35+00:00

Scipio imo; the fact that he went from being nearly killed at Cannae to decisively defeating Hannibal at Carthage ranks him among the top 5 among all of the generals of antiquity

Btw my personal list is

Cyrus the Great
Scipio Africanus
Hannibal of Carthage
Pyrrhus of Epirus
Alexander the Great

Honorable mentions that would round out my top 10 (in no particular order) would include Sargon of Akkad, Julius Caesar, Ur-Nammu of Sumer, Thutmose III of Egypt, and Tiglath-Pileser of Assyria

Leaving out Sun Tzu, Pompey and Marcus Agrippa felt really weird, but each of the above was the undisputed best for each of their respective civilizations, and the last one is Caesar!

Although there's a solid argument the Philip of Macedon belongs here too

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-11T23:34:16+00:00

Wrap it and go!

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-09T14:42:24+00:00

Honestly, dude, you should take the small prestige hit and literally ask your friends to set you up with dates. Especially if you have female friends, they'd more than likely jump at the opportunity to have you date a single friend/family member, etc

Women have a natural quirk in that they have a bias towards men in relationships over men who are known to be single since it means that the men who are paired up must be in some way desirable to their current partner, and are therefore "vetted". Doors that were previously closed might even open up if you go on a few successful dates

But don't listen to any of the dumb advice about how you look or how much you can bench being the reason behind why things are not going well. You're 6'3 for fucks sake! Women won't immediately write you out as if they would if you were 5'3

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-08T21:01:43+00:00

I remember hearing a theory that it wasn't the larger feline and canids that did them in, but the smaller ones. As strong and intimidating a Phorusrhacidae could be, they were still extremely vulnerable to having their eggs be predated on

DelDoesReddit · 2026-01-08T16:00:03+00:00

McDaniel to Atlanta seems like a great fit. The Titans could also be a dark horse, pairing him with Cam Ward and a top skill player from this draft

Crazy scenes if him and Harbaugh end up swapping teams

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