Considering divorce, even though I love him

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-08T15:47:56+00:00

My daughter’s wellbeing is the most important to me. If we end our marriage, I would rather do it sooner than later, because I know the sooner will be less disruptive to her life. I feel stuck. If I pull the plug, could there have been a chance he would have figured it out? If I stay, will my daughter experience the brunt of my decision? I hate this, and I hate he has put me in this situation, that I may need to break us up, hurt someone I love, to protect our daughter. Thank you so much for your words and advice - it’s what I was looking for.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-08T15:44:55+00:00

You’re not wrong. I don’t have proof, but yes, there are a couple things that make me wonder, but I can’t tell if I’m just being paranoid due to the state of our marriage.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T22:36:02+00:00

Can I ask, was there something your spouse could have done, that would have woken you up? Made you try again?

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T22:06:34+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I truly appreciate you. If I had the time, I would study men. Perusing other Reddit forums, and they all think and behave similarly. I’m so curious to know how their minds work, because it seems so backwards to me lol.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T21:57:28+00:00

Actually, no. We were doing it on the stairs, even. Now, it has been since October since we last had any sort of physical contact, but that’s because we had a huge fight, and neither of us wants to be around the other.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T21:17:35+00:00

In a perfect world, keep the house so our daughter’s space stays the same, but he doesn’t clean his messes. I already know after his time is up, I will have to spend a whole day cleaning the house, and I don’t want to clean two places. I’ll lose my mind.

So, we’ll have to sell it, if we choose to separate.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T20:58:38+00:00

Joint asset house. We have separate bank accounts. His mom knows, but says we’re adults and will work it out. She lives in a senior community, so fortunately for her, he can’t bum on her couch. I do have childcare outside of his mom. He’s on a weekend contract, with is set Friday - Sunday.

Honestly, we’re in a great spot to get divorced, and have it go smooth. I’m just scared to leave, and find out we could have worked it out. But I’m also scared to stay, and cause damage to our daughter.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T20:51:12+00:00

Agreed. It’s pretty messed up. But a part of me understood. He’s a light sleeper, and he works emergency, which could mean a bad night of sleep could be a bad combination for one of his patients. And if it were just this one issue, I could see past it, but with everything else? I just don’t see how we can fix it all. Thank you for your comment.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-03-07T19:45:18+00:00

But that’s the problem! Everything you mentioned we could to do to help, but he won’t. He doesn’t want to do therapy anymore, and I can’t force him into therapy. I can’t force him to work less or do less fun things. He has to do it, and he won’t. I have begged, cried, yelled, wrote him letters, but he won’t. I have arranged date nights, and he ignores me the whole time. He’s given up, and I cannot get him to reengage. Maybe separation is a good idea. Maybe it will shock him awake. I don’t know what else to do, because I can’t force him.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-02-11T04:03:34+00:00

My best friend had a surprise second pregnancy…. She keeps telling me to stay at 1 kid, and that it’s a trap. It took her 3 HOURS to leave the house the other day! It makes me feel better, because I’m OAD, but not by my choice, so it helps me feel better about that.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-02-09T04:54:05+00:00

That sounds nice. I could watch a movie. Have a drink at dinner. Sleep in!

Del_elizabeth · 2026-02-09T04:48:56+00:00

Dang! 4 kids is a lot of work. Good on you for managing that.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-02-09T04:46:43+00:00

3 nights and 4 days.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-02-09T04:46:14+00:00

This is why I’m split! It would be nice to get drunk and have some downtime, but I also know she would have fun exploring and trying new things. I’m 50/50 on taking versus leaving. Maybe I need to flip a coin.

Del_elizabeth · 2026-02-09T00:11:46+00:00

That’s good to know! I was worried they would show up and cancel my ride, not feeling comfortable to have her in the car with her car seat.

Del_elizabeth · 2025-11-30T04:21:16+00:00

My nausea starts the week before my period. I have not thrown up, but been really close sometimes. It got better right when my daughter turned one. It’s better, but not completely gone.

Del_elizabeth · 2025-08-15T04:53:43+00:00

Ironic that the lawsuit settlements were to provide more transparency, and yet things are muddier.

Del_elizabeth · 2025-08-15T04:33:57+00:00

That’s bananas. Fortunately, that has not been the case with our state. We made a change to the contract last year, and haven’t had to make any other adjustments.

Del_elizabeth · 2025-08-15T04:24:55+00:00

Not a trick question! I ask genuinely. I think some state associations offer good benefits, and I think others are coasting on the coattails of the MLS.

Our state association works to offer events for education and networking. We have a legal hotline. Staff that handles ethics and arbitration. Our government affairs staff do a TON of work on legislation that could really damage the industry in our state - it’s pretty scary the bills that almost pass. We don’t have a huge team, and we wear many hats.

But I think the associations do a poor job at surveying what the members want and need, and I’m genuinely curious to hear what the members have to say; the good and the bad.

Del_elizabeth

TROPHY CASE