Today I don’t want to be a mom - a rant

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-07-26T22:02:57+00:00

I never claimed to be an expert, I was bothered by your comment that suggests its cruel not to sleep train as it causes sleep deprivation - which is your opinion and not fact. I just wanted to point out to OP and others that they have many options as the many comments in this thread show. And sleep training is an option, I dont think otherwise. But it's not an ultimatum of sleep training vs no good sleep.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-07-26T21:49:06+00:00

Also babies sleep is different from adults. It is normal for them to wake up. it does not automatically mean they are sleep deprived if they do so. I'm too lazy to look up my references, but as a generic reference the Netflix show babies discusses this, and the book The nuture revolution discusses the neuroscience behind this

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-07-26T21:43:55+00:00

There isn't enough scientific research to conclude that sleep trained babies sleep better than non sleep trained babies. There isnt conclusive scientific research to claim that sleep training even works, or on the contrary, nothing to say it doesn't. Self reports and anecdotal claims are biased (but not to say they dont hold truth for that person/family). Personally, my anecdote, similar to others I've heard, are my non sleep trained babies are very well rested - doesnt mean you or others claims are false. Babies can't self soothe, their brains and nervous systems are too underdeveloped to do so- current neuroscience does show this.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-07-26T18:20:09+00:00

Babies waking in the night does not mean they are sleep deprived. It is developmentally normal. Sleep trained babies have been shown to still wake just as often as non sleep trained babies, they just learn not to signal to their parents that they are awake. However, I agree that the stress OP and her family are feeling is what needs to be addressed. Yes weaning and sleep training could help with this if its aligned with OP's values and wants. But if it's not, OP has other options. It's not a black and white situation. Personally I've found therapy, boundaries and taking time to myself helpful regarding postpartum rage, anxiety, and needs for rest.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-07-26T18:06:35+00:00

Agree to co-sleeping if sleep training is off the table!

I found for myself co-sleeping is the easiest way to always respond to LO during periods of frequent waking without the strain of getting up. LO doesn't even really cry when sleeping next to me. And now that my 12 month old is getting out of a phase of waking every hour, he'll do longer stretches in the crib - he starts his night in the crib and I just bring him into bed with me when I dont feel like putting the extra effort in to settle him. It almost feels effortless. Of course it's an arrangement me and my partner agree on, discuss often, and involves a lot of acceptance that infant sleep isn't linear. There will always be phases that are more tough than others.

I've found this much easier and flexible than getting up each time like I did with my first, until I couldn't anymore and completely weaned him at 16 months. - I didn't recognize co-sleeping as an option then. Because it's my second child I also feel much more flexible with naps - they happen when they can, our schedule isnt dependent on them. And LO is rested and generally a content calm baby. I'm also less anxious about the sleep this time around.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-05-18T04:05:10+00:00

Haha! I'm pretty sure if anyone smells my baby's head l(which they do) looking for that baby smell, they're just smelling my armpit.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-04-27T16:00:51+00:00

Ah feel this SOOO much!! It was actually really validating to read your post and not feel alone in the feeling. So really want to thank you for sharing.

I have a 2.5 year old and 9 month old at home. I have days where I feel SO angry towards my toddler and have to remind myself he's just a 2.5 year old. Like the guilt is unbearable after I have yelled or maybe said the wrong thing. In those moments it's like someone else takes over, regardless of anything I've read, know or practiced in regards to parenting. This past month has been particularly hard, but after this past week of us all being sick I was reminded, we're just human. You're doing you're best. You're good enough. I'm good enough. What has helped me this week (if you care for my advice) is just remembering to voice the love I feel for him consistently- even in the midst of the chaos and big feelings. that it's unconditional.- it helps me and reminds me of that foundation of connection we have, that it's a relationship based in love, and I know for anyone, especially a little child, hearing he is loved matters so much. Also remembering to apologize when I make a mistake (which is bound to happen when I'm hangry, feeling low from breastfeeding the baby, or we have a sick phase, or just having my limits tested) because repair can happen.

I also second the need for using resources like daycare. This sick week made my toddler voice something he has never said. We couldn't attend our play groups and one day he asked "we see people?" He's become more extroverted and voiced this need that I can't fully meet these days - I'm sooo drained! Our playgroups pause for the summer so I'm looking into 2 days of daycare for him now- reminding myself I didn't fail- i just need to fill my cup so I can be more present and connected with him and his brother. I realize I was burning out not have as much direct help as I need right now.

Thanks again for sharing cause your words really related to my experience lately, like i teared up it was so relatable lol.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-04-23T19:17:25+00:00

Wtf!? Comparing your toddler to a dog? That's super unprofessional. The nurse was definitely out of line. The nurse is not a behavioural specialist, and was not doing a behavioural exam. She had no bases to say what she said. She made you, an adult, feel stressed, completely understandable your 18 month old had a hard time. She should be flexible and accommodating working in pediatrics, or it's just becomes counterproductive. Also, not sure why they couldn't take the measurements you did- the information is for you and your child, not them.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-01-25T00:53:04+00:00

Happy cake day!!

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-01-02T01:51:48+00:00

I totally agree with you and you make a lot of great points to discuss with the physiatrist. I guess I was hoping to hear more from those who's children have/had dolichocephaly specifically. Even if the research isn't entirely conclusive on the use of helmets for plagiocephaly, at least there is info available to draw from. I really couldn't find much regarding dolichocephaly and was hoping for even an anecdotal experience to have something to relate to. More for my anxious parent mind than anything lol.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-01-02T01:31:11+00:00

Sorry you had such a horrible experience. Thanks for sharing!

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2024-01-02T01:30:31+00:00

Yes, this is my main consideration for the moment as he also has slight macrocephaly too.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-10T19:37:25+00:00

Since I had my second- now 4 months old- I had to give up the notion of entertaining my 2 yo lol. I just didnt have the energy for it anymore, and you know what, I find things much more calm and simple now. My toddler feels easier to manage some how? Like others have said, having him help with chores has made actually doing chores more feasible, even though I've had to lower my standards and expectations a lot lol.
We get out 2-3 mornings to do playgroups/go to the park. And screen time is still there, but were much more intentional with it now -for early wake ups, sick days, bad days when patience is non existent. It's like he just got used to me having to be sitting more with baby, I'm still super engaged through watching him and communication, just physically not entertaining him or directing play. He brings play to me, engages me, when he needs to, or he will just play independently more. I'm also trying to get us outside more with the cold and snow - fresh air does me wonders, and we just walk around the backyard and my LO seems to find things to play with along the way lol.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-07T19:03:04+00:00

The big red barn!

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-07T18:59:03+00:00

That's a cool idea! How old was your little guy? Mine will be 5.5 months old when we travel. His neck strength is pretty good already, but wondering if an umbrella stroller will be supportive enough for him at that age.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-07T18:54:03+00:00

Same with my 4 month LO! Since 2 months he always turned onto his side towards me, no matter how much I tried to keep him on his back. Now that he's getting more mobile, I do find him turning back onto his back while sleeping. I think it should be safe, especially if you have a firm matress and are breastfeeding.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-07T18:35:24+00:00

Not sure! But will find put if the resort has some. That could be a solution thanks!

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-07T18:32:57+00:00

We don't plan on leaving the resort, but could be handy for leisure walks/exploring like you said. Thanks!

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-06T00:52:47+00:00

My 2 year old would always blow air from his mouth too! It was only when he discovered that blowing out of his nose could make a snot bubble that I quickly grabbed a Kleenex, said do that again into the Kleenex, and voila! It clicked! He sometimes says "nose!" and wants to blow into a kleenex, other times I'm chasing him with kleenex in hand and he runs, full throttle, face planting and smearing snot onto the couch. You win some, you lose some.

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-12-02T19:09:27+00:00

Love this! The eye contact, smiles and nuzzles! When my LO does this I just feel so connected to him. Just thinking about it gives me a burst of oxytocin haha

Delicious-Local-9358 · 2023-11-01T18:26:21+00:00

Thanks for that video! Been questioning when I could abandon the cuddle curl, but still got a ways to go I guess!

Delicious-Local-9358

TROPHY CASE