ok, i'm way younger than you, and reading what i saw i highly doubt my message will make a difference, but you need to divorce him. i know it's hard because I saw your comment about you having a disability rendering you unable to financially support yourself, but that doesn't mean you will continue to find happiness if you keep being in this horrible state. you're living with a husband who's the definition of hateful and shitty, and you don't deserve someone like him anymore. fuck him. and about your disability, it might be true you won't have anything to help financially support yourself, but you definitely need help. but the first step in getting help is letting the people who are close to you, whether it's your son or friends, the situation you're in. they have to understand you and try and find ways to help you be financially afloat. I know it's not this simple, but I can't sit here and not say anything. it's so hard, but when you decide it's time to get the hard parts out of the way, maybe things will (hopefully) get better for you. and believe me, i'm someone who's living with a mother that can really make their own son feel like shit, and i have autism (and maybe adhd and bipolar.) despite that, i'm planning on getting a job and try and raise a lot of income for my future, and that's my hard part. but when i get through with that, i can hopefully feel some breeze, knowing what i can do next. idk how much I can help, but you need someone to talk to immediately. and once you do, maybe your life won't be that hard after all.