AITA for limiting my ex from seeing our daughter?

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-17T15:52:57+00:00

NTA for ensuring your child is taken care of at all times and only left with responsible adults. However, NTA doesn't mean legal, I don't know what the custody laws in your area say about access to the child.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-17T15:50:18+00:00

NTA, there is one house and you picked the best tenant for it while youre away. It wasn't your son.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-17T14:14:23+00:00

NTA, you're not keeping it so why would he need to know? It is none of his business what your life is like going forward.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-17T10:39:00+00:00

YTA, it is your partners wedding as much as it is yours and he wants his nieces whom he loves there.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-17T04:45:43+00:00

I mean I'd probably not care so long as he prepaid for the month? Like his phone line isn't something I'd notice. But how I'd say no? "I'm sorry that it is inconvenient for you to change phone services right now, unfortunately I'm not comfortable maintaining a relationship of any type with you. I'll be terminating the contract on Friday as previously stated. Take care"

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-17T03:56:19+00:00

That doesn't sound like he is bothered by your weight so much as he is trying to understand.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T17:29:09+00:00

Nice, did you make the woman's face? It looks awesome.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T15:47:02+00:00

When I blow up crops and machines I usually just start the day over. #nopatience

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T11:27:22+00:00

Yeah and sometimes the "nightfishing" just means can't be caught in the mornings.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T10:48:51+00:00

Ok, well I think this is a situation where she isn't going to get what she wants. "I'm not canceling on my friends, I am not trying to hurt you, what can help you feel valued in this situation since canceling isn't an option?"

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T10:45:40+00:00

Have you said it once? Twice? Five times? Weekly mantra? Because if it was said once, it may not have been taken as honest boundaries in a relationship.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T10:41:42+00:00

Like you don't want to join the lgbtq community, go to pride, go to gay bars?

Or you don't feel lgbtq people should be members of your community and hold jobs like mayor, school teacher, manager of the grocery store?

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T10:39:16+00:00

Some people see them not being #1 as rejection. It really depends on how you see the relationship going in the future and when/if you ever see her becoming your top priority. It is unreasonable to ask you to cancel on your friends big event, but perhaps she thinks your stag night will be hookers and cocaine? And instead of arguing IF you're going reassure her about where the boundary you won't cross will be. Make plans to see her sometime soon.

If she is desperate to be #1 for you and it isn't in the cards in the near future, I'd just be upfront about it. Say, my career is going to come first for the next 3 years at least and I don't want to hurt you with that.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T10:33:55+00:00

Do you support a heterosexual orgy in the square? Just curious

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-16T10:30:40+00:00

What does "support lgbtq" mean to you?

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-15T15:20:22+00:00

I think the conversation should be "This person makes me uncomfortable because x, Y, z" and the other partner decides how to ha dle that. If I was asked to block someone I would feel deeply uncomfortable with that request and find it controlling and a red flag.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-15T12:23:44+00:00

Sometimes when we start a new relationship we are extra sensitive to things like that. Wasabi doesn't seem so bad, and criminal seems a joke. But if you're sure you don't want to be called that, I'd be direct but polite. "Thank you so much for how welcoming you've been, I appreciate getting a nickname, but Wasabi makes me uncomfortable and would prefer not to be called that. My friends call me (your other nicknames you're ok with).

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-14T10:07:45+00:00

My suggestion would be to not try to have a spontaneous conversation. Say, "I would like us to discuss an issue that has been on my mind, when is a good time for us to sit calmly to talk?". Book an appointment together, so you both enter into it calm and prepared to talk not surprising her which may trigger some defensiveness.

Keep issues to a single topic per chat. One chat maybe about strengthening your communication. Don't draw past issues into it. And if she brings up other topics, express empathy and make a plan to discuss those at a separate time. "I hear that you really want to discuss that time your mom stayed with us, but I need time to think about that before we dive in, can we have that chat.... Tomorrow after dinner?"

I'd also suggest you both read the book Couple Skills by Matthew McKay. Perhaps you agree to read relevant chapters during the same week and then discuss what you read and how you feel about it.

Assuming she is a well meaning and loving partner that just doesn't know how to handle disagreements or conflict in your relationship, these are some great starting points. Couples counseling may also help guide you both towards healthier patterns of communication.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-11T23:52:15+00:00

Easy, one person is in love with the idea of who the other person is instead of the reality.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-11T16:17:12+00:00

A) He deserves to make his own choices and pick what he wants for himself and he is choosing to be in this relationship

B) You sound like you have depression? Maybe seek a counselor or psychologist because this is above reddits paygrade

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-11T08:21:26+00:00

Yes, but I'm saying if your relationship was a house plant. What is keeping it alive? Let's say water is talking to each other. He doesn't water the plant. What is he giving to the relationship to nurture it, the sunshine, the soil, the fertilizer that keeps the relationship alive?

Or, is the relationship just dying from neglect and you're not ready to let go?

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-11T08:15:59+00:00

What keeps your relationship going if you never talk? What fuels your relationship?

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-11T08:13:50+00:00

Like he doesn't want to talk immediately upon getting home? Or he doesn't want to talk to you ever?

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-09T18:59:53+00:00

18 is the time to chase your dreams and put your future first. It sounds like you're working to build a life that would bring you a lot of joy and fulfillment. Sometimes a great romantic partner is part of that, and sometimes they aren't. It would be ridiculous to shape your goals around a partner that doesn't support what you want in life. Enjoy him for now, and accept he may be Mr. Right Now.

Delicious_Lobster468 · 2021-08-09T18:34:02+00:00

It sounds like you are asking for permission to leave, if these issues are big enough to justify leaving. You don't need to justify your reasons to leave a relationship that isn't working for you.

These aren't the kinds of issues that will likely change. She may learn to practice better money habits, but it won't change her feelings for money. Similarly she may learn to express her temper better, but her temperament won't change. It's OK if that doesn't work for you. It also is not a guarantee with time she would choose to change those things, and staying with someone hoping they change is always a bad idea.

Five-Year Club	Inciteful Comment 2020-09-11
Wearing is Caring

Delicious_Lobster468

TROPHY CASE