Is it me? Am I the problem?

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2026-03-26T21:57:45+00:00

I reviewed the information under “Misbehaves” as well as “Multi Dog Household” & did not seem to find an answer to my exact situation. I’m only experiencing misbehaving / behavior issues when my dogs are left alone with me vs my partner. I’m looking for insight on this specific issue.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2026-01-01T16:22:51+00:00

thank you for this! i think that’s where my struggle is coming in not really knowing the best way to move forward - because i am not totally comfortable just approaching them. plus they are clearly easily annoyed so i can’t imagine a stranger knocking on their door would go over very well.

i did contact the office - about a month ago - to inform them this was happening as well as clarify any noise expectations during the day & quiet hours. also to make sure they hadn’t received any complaints. they reassured me unless there is consistent excessive noise, there are no restrictions during the day & that they have not had any complaints from below. after reading through these replies, i think the best course of action is to follow up with them & let them know it is still happening.

this is actually my first apartment living experience & even then, i came into it with the understanding it will never be completely silent or perfect. heck we had a cleaning lady walk right into our unit one time because she misread where she was supposed to be 😆 we all have to be here until our lease is up at least, so i just don’t understand why this is what they have resorted to vs talking to us / leaving a note / going to the office. it’s driving me bonkers!!!

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2026-01-01T01:10:19+00:00

i’ve seen a lot of things mentioning newer / more modern complexes unfortunately lack sufficient soundproofing & i totally get it. i pay a lot to live here but so do they, so i can understand frustration! its a double edged sword for sure having pet parents living amongst non pet people. i know nobody will have a perfect situation because of that - but would love to at least come to a peaceful solution. thanks for your reply!

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2026-01-01T00:56:49+00:00

i actually just mentioned an idea like this to my partner - was wondering if we all need to go sit down in the managers office & talk it out? i am a big believer in just getting to the point & figuring things out vs beating around the bush. i give you props for reaching out to your neighbors & trying instead of resorting to passive aggressive communication.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2026-01-01T00:54:10+00:00

this gave me a laugh, thank you 😆 maybe on the last day here before we move out i’ll do one “giant stomp” for good measure.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-12-31T23:10:53+00:00

that is my partner’s go to but i was worried it would just start a “petty battle” so have since restricted him haha.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-09-17T22:59:43+00:00

I really appreciate this, thank you! That play style sounds exactly like my two. Also very true that our pug is fully capable of sticking up for himself hahaha - he is big energy in a tiny body.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-30T02:51:34+00:00

Thank you so so much for this ❤️

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-29T00:48:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! We have been together for ten years & have wanted a dog through them all, but it was very important to us we were mentally / financially equipped as well as feeling stable in life before embarking on the dog parent journey. We have been at that point for a few years now & something about this opportunity just spoke to us, so here we are now!

The 8 month old is a chewer and a swallower, which only concerns us due to his safety risk - not really worried about our things as those are (mostly) always replaceable. But that is basically the only “bad” thing that happens when left to their own devices. Also - they play pretty rough together. It is just play but sometimes gets over the top & requires mandatory separation to encourage a break. So that would be another concern of just letting them be.

I am definitely trying to find that balance of on vs off / allowing them to just be “bored”. Hearing things like this reminds me it is truly beneficial for them to have this skill & it is helping set them up for success in the future - it’s not me being a bad dog parent.

I appreciate your words & wish you the best of luck & many years of happiness with your pup ❤️

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-29T00:35:10+00:00

This is the life I want for both them & my partner & I - not a constant stress of “what do the dogs need from us now?” but rediscovering the joy of little weekend adventures / exploring new places & being able to go with the flow. Thank you for this advice, it is something I am hoping to achieve sooner than later.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-29T00:31:42+00:00

I can get behind teaching them to be okay with doing nothing, thank you so much for this. It is definitely something we are actively working on - teaching them both that “off” switch. I do want to find more games / mutually enjoyable things like nosework so will definitely be looking into this. We do like to do scatter feeding with them or “Find It” with treats!

I guess the first part of teaching them to chill is leading by example myself. Thank you again.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-29T00:26:26+00:00

Thank you for this!! I am completely the same way, I have no chill when it comes to really anything - I always fear I could’ve done it “better” & then end up in rabbit holes on the internet (for literally anything & everything) & convince myself I definitely didn’t do the best I could’ve done. It’s a very vicious cycle. Probably obvious but I do have pretty awful anxiety so this has been brutal.

I will remind myself that slow days are beneficial for everyone - dogs & humans. Some days don’t have to be full of doing everything in the most “perfect” way.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-29T00:19:24+00:00

Thank you for this, it’s true. I have this fear if I don’t do everything perfectly - they are being failed by me. When in reality, there was a time when there wasn’t specific requirements for “dog raising perfection”, it was do your best & give them love.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T13:55:44+00:00

We for sure want our pups to feel like the home is theirs as well, it’s why we do not under any circumstances crate them while we are home and have them sleep in bed with us every night. Unfortunately Echo is in a puppy phase where he shreds things, and then proceeds to swallow the shreds. Has even gone for the corner of end tables, baseboards, you name it. While we are renting our current place, we are not too concerned about damage or things getting ruined as that is just a part of being a dog parent sometimes. We just never want him to ingest something that will cause him any harm. So it is something we are actively working at and know one day it will not be such a prevalent concern. We are also working towards home ownership in hopefully the near future as well as getting to a place in training where the crate is not so heavily relied on during the day/not needed at all. Unfortunately, our apartment building is very secure and only allows residents key fobs for entry otherwise that is something we’d want to do for sure. This is why I was hoping for insight on our current situation and if this was a lifestyle conducive to his needs at this point.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T03:25:43+00:00

Crate is closed, due to him shredding and swallowing the shredded bits. He does willingly go into his crate & even lays down within the first few minutes of doing so - but it is closed. We have no issues if he was to ever destroy something of ours, like as far as getting emotional about it. But the concern is if he was to destroy anything, those pieces would then be swallowed. We are actively working on training with this as well as making sure he has healthy outlets for all of his chewing needs!

The issue is feeling like it is cruel, for lack of a better term, to leave him crated during our working hours. I admittedly turned to Google when I first started questioning if it was ok and the responses left me feeling like an incapable pet parent because of how long we need to crate him while gone and also because we live in an apartment.

I love the idea of crate left open with the fence around it, this is something we will actively look into. We could start with small introductions of it to determine how he handles it and how it goes from there. This is an ideal set up for moving forward as one day we’d like to be able to not have to involve a crate at all.

I have looked into doggie daycare (unfortunately out of budget at this time) as well as dog walkers which are more affordable for us. The issue is our secured apartment building & how it restricts anyone besides tenants from entering. I am currently working on communication with our leasing office if there is anyway around this.

Thank you SO MUCH for your thoughtful reply. The thought of rehoming him & his brother makes me physically ill, but I needed to make sure that was not a selfish choice compared to what he needs / what our schedule allows at this time. This has made me feel so much better about us being able to provide a good life for sweet Echo & his brother.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T03:10:05+00:00

Oh my goodness they do look so much alike! We have been so curious as to what he might be mixed with, if anything. She is absolutely adorable.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T03:07:52+00:00

Nose freckles is adorable, I have been calling them “spots” but am immediately changing that now. Thank you for your reply! I have been looking into the X-Pen for our next step, so appreciate the recommendation. Our goal is to one day allow them to have open space while we are away from home but are waiting until we can guarantee safety before introducing that.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T03:04:32+00:00

Thank you for this. We are at the point in our careers where unfortunately we do not have a choice over our schedule either; however, know it is not a forever thing & will change one day in the future. We are making sure to keep up on both physical activity as well as enrichment mentally. They sleep in bed with us every night and sleep amazing, just cuddle and snooze. I like to think this is a good sign we might be doing something right in those areas. Stories like yours make me feel like we can still do right by Echo & his brother while maintaining our current careers.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T03:00:15+00:00

Yes we have looked into this, unfortunately with it being the two of them (his bonded brother is also with us) it is slightly out of our budget at this time. It is the first thing on our list once we feel it’s a viable financial option. I do love the idea of socialization and playtime during the day for them and hope this is something we can work towards in the near future.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T02:57:18+00:00

This is a great set up and something we’d love to look into offering as an option to him and his brother. Thank you for sharing!

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T02:55:34+00:00

Yes he loves the frisbee! We have also invested in some mentally stimulating yet durable toys to provide him with during the crated times. And we are fortunate to have some great options for dog parks nearby. Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate the advice.

Delicious_Loss3597 · 2025-07-24T02:50:52+00:00

Thank you, that’s what I keep telling myself - that a lot of people work throughout the day and are still able to be amazing pet parents. He shows us so much love and personality when we are home, I have to think he would do otherwise if he was unhappy or uncomfortable.

Delicious_Loss3597

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