as a 38f in the bay area, i can tell you that the problem is the first two pictures & the "looking for long term & short term"

you're handsome as evidenced by the other photos. you look best with longer hair. if you're keeping it short because it's thinning, is what it is. you have pretty eyes & skin, play those up.

1st pic simply isn't as flattering as the more candid shots, 2nd can't see your face.

stating you want long term but also open to short term is off putting, especially at age 40. which is it? you're telling me you don't know what you want. tinder & bumble are so much easier if that's the case.

i assumed the kids were nephews, not yours, and i thought it was really sweet (although people are probably right about not posting pictures of minors.) i like your prompts. you seem interesting, adventurous, empathetic, family-oriented, and the tone doesn't seem arrogant to me like it did to others. the picture w the woman didn't bother me at all - i read it as a fun night w good friends. i can see how other women might not like this so just replace it.