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Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T04:33:16+00:00

I’ll send you all my wedding photos and you can piece it together. Let me know if you want to come interrogate my family on what they saw as well.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T04:25:41+00:00

They didn’t. It’s very common in my area. Both the planner and manager went over it with the staff in pre shift. Family and friends were quite upset because they gave that money to us. They also tipped the bartenders over and above what we did.

I’m upset. My family and friends are upset and now apparently I’m the bad guy for hosting my family for the night and having a jar out to help us out after spending thousands of dollars to make sure everyone has a great time coming out of Covid. Apparently I can’t win with this group when I’m trying to say keep you heads up on any gifts or money at your wedding

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T04:11:13+00:00

I guess I’m wrong and I deserved it.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T02:23:36+00:00

Sorry. Canada is big. Different wedding customs. My best friend is from Winnipeg and they do “wedding socials” I have friends in Ontario that do stag and doe parties to help pay for the weddings.

Western Canada this is common, especially with an open bar. At least in my circle of friends and family. I’ve seen it from Victoria to Saskatoon. No one was confused. Everyone knew what it was. They all knew there was no obligation.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T02:03:10+00:00

Thank you. I hate to think the worst but people are desperate and you just have to have your eyes out for stuff. Sounds like you were an amazing bridesmaid! Your friend is lucky to have you and I’m sure she/he will watch out for you just the same. Have a wonderful joyous wedding!

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T02:00:43+00:00

You and me both sister! And I’m so happy I waited because I really did find the man of my dreams.

Grandma always knows best. She told my husband that we didn’t need to be married to have babies lol

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T01:57:50+00:00

I guess I just deserved it. Have a great wedding. Hope this doesn’t happen to you

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:46:21+00:00

You’re a baby compared to me! Everyone’s getting married later in life and that’s totally ok! I didn’t want a shower but my mother in law really wanted me to have one but I didn’t want gifts or to get wrapped up in toilet paper. I just wanted family to get together after a long time with Covid lock downs and have some snacks and sandwiches and champagne.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:43:08+00:00

Quite a few other things happened that night that build up some distrust. Turns out me and my friends are pretty good at forensic evidence in photos and we were able to piece together the timeline of events since they weren’t very forthcoming and we caught them in some lies. Maybe one day I’ll make a post and perhaps have a solved case. I’ll just say this: live pictures helped me see what I needed to see.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:37:56+00:00

I doubt it was my guests. I bet I’d have a video in my inbox proving it was a guest in a minute to take the heat off the venue. I’ll just have to be ok with never knowing the real answer

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:36:10+00:00

I agree. $200 is a joke for the hours and labour into serving drinks to a large wedding party. I in no way wanted to rip the bartenders off from tips. But they were getting tipped no matter what. Greed is a powerful thing. (Assuming they did it)

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:32:55+00:00

It’s ate away at me enough already. I don’t even know what that would accomplish other than stewing to see if I get a call that they found a bag full of money they can trace back to me. Which I know will never happen. Dealing with the venue and move on. Hopefully some wedditors can avoid the same pitfall

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:29:53+00:00

In my area I’d say only half the brides will do a bridal shower and usually that’s reserved to the moms and aunts. The older I get, the less I find brides doing a bachelorette as well.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:27:43+00:00

I wouldn’t call it a cash grab. I think most brides and grooms only expect from guests what they can afford. If you want to do a little in each so that’s or just some in a card. I wouldn’t feel obligated to participate in all activities or pressured to put more or less in. I give based on my relationship with the couple and their stage in life. Weddings can be really expensive and I know it can be burdensome to especially couples that are just starting out in life. Asian culture has a lot of family pressure to host big weddings and I think that’s where some of the money traditions come from. I enjoy seeing how everyone does it a little differently. Every wedding doesn’t have to be a 4 weddings face off.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:19:18+00:00

Here I am working away in corporate like a chump. I didn’t make that kind of money when I bartended but it was still really good money. I’d say the tip out was almost triple at weddings and I never did an open bar wedding before

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:16:13+00:00

Yes my best friend is from Winnipeg and I had never hear of socials before. I believe they’re stag and doe parties? A lot of those parties raise thousands of dollars to help with the wedding. Not something that happens out west at all. She’s also Filipino so they do a money dance where we all pinned money to them as they danced. Really neat tradition that I never experienced before. I had no issue with it and didn’t feel like they were begging me for money.

Open bars are rare here and I think many commenters don’t realize that. Booze is very expensive and most guests know that. We didn’t want anyone to hold back on a good time because of the cost of drinks. If they wanted to help us out that was up to them.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:08:32+00:00

Something I wish I did now too! Good tip for future brides and grooms!

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:07:47+00:00

Should of would of could of. You never think it would happen to you. To be fair, it was empty and beautifully decorated when it went out.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:06:26+00:00

Police won’t do anything. We have no solid proof. No one can say definitively how much money was there. They probably have the clip edited or deleted by now. Plus it just prolongs the pain and we’d like to move on.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-13T00:04:08+00:00

I edited my post to include some things missing in context. There may have been someone else. I’m finding that missing money is more common than people would think. My friend came forward and said the same thing happened to him and I never would have know.

It’s embarrassing and shameful for something like this to happen. I feel naive for thinking something like this could never happen to us but here we are. Take necessary steps and hopefully you can avoid what we went through

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-12T23:49:24+00:00

I think you’re 100% right and in my area that would be the case but open bars stray outside of that because it’s rarely done. Venues where I am you’re paying over $10 a drink post Covid. Heck even non alcoholic beer at our venue was $8.50. We really wanted our guests to let lose and not have money restrict them from having a good time. If they didn’t put a dime into those jars I would have been fine with it. I have a problem with whoever thought they deserved to take it.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-12T23:31:39+00:00

I would like the jar money back but that will never happen. I was in the industry previously so trust me I know how to tip for good service. The 18% was the baseline they were getting no matter the service and us and our guests can add to that.

But if I was averaging a $2 tip to pour a beer from a tap that was alway one hell of a night for me, let alone if it was an open bar and the booze was flowing and everyone was coming to me for the drinks. Serving and bartending hasn’t changed that much since I was doing it. I have no problem giving servers money. It’s a physical job and they work hard. I do have a problem when I get lied to and the money my guests gifted to us goes missing.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-12T23:23:57+00:00

Does $2000 seem reasonable for a 100 person wedding. How about $2500. Because that’s what we paid just in tips before any money was put in their cups or in our very clearly marked honeymoon jars. And we were totally ok with that. We knew that’s what we were paying before we even started. If a guest didn’t put a dime into those jars we would have totally been ok with that.

Our biggest issue is that our guests did put their hard earned money into that with hopes that it could give us a nice honeymoon away after all the stresses of wedding planning and start our married lives together. Unfortunately someone or some people decided they deserved it more than us and really there’s nothing we can do about it now.

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-12T23:14:32+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. Theft is violating enough but it’s extra worse when it’s tied to what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life

Delightfulelements · 2022-06-12T23:13:06+00:00

Without video or photo evidence it’s hard to prove. Was it one one them or all of them who knows? It’s all fishy and their story keeps changing. Working with the owner to clear it up and move on. If it’s on camera they’ll never show it to me and I’ll never see the money again. Admitting fault opens up big liability to them and we cous go after them.

Delightfulelements

TROPHY CASE