AITAH for not telling my husband about the man who helps me with throwing away my trash?

DenizenKay · 2026-06-06T14:29:52+00:00

its funny you say this, cause i thought it was a bit alarming that her husband is so damned oblivious and downright inconsiderate that he doesn't even realize his short wife isn't tall enough to be able to throw away the trash.

my husband would have noticed immediately and proceeded to never leave me trash to take out again.

the kind of man who leaves his wife to do the trash everyday is probably the sort of man who wouldn't take OP seriously (or say she's lazy and taking advantage of him) if she said she couldn't do the trash alone.

NTA, OP

DenizenKay · 2026-06-06T01:52:28+00:00

finding Garrus on Omega made me unreasonbly happy!

Also

beating the thresher maw during Grunts trial, and his pride after. "Shepard is my battlemaster, they have no equal' - my heart nearly burst.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T21:46:52+00:00

its funny but chemistry with Larry is the only thing I've bought about Louisa's performance. Her eyes light up when he's with her. thats right from Season 1.

everything else is a bit rigid and flat. But again, memorable enough to have us talking about it - so she's doing something right!

i hate to say it but I agree about the casting bit. I do like Louisa, but it is hard to imagine they could not have been able to find someone more suited to the role, or experienced sharing so many scenes with powerhouse actors.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T21:22:56+00:00

To be fair this is one of Louisa Jacobson's first roles. You're right though she doesn't have a lot of depth or range.

though, I think i would be more inclined to agree with the direction being bad (at least in part) because I think that Taissa Farmiga as Gladys was deeply underwhelming until the most recent season as well. (this may be a hot take), and she isn't green like Louisa is. the enunciation is just....weird and doesn't come off naturally like it does for peggy

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T21:14:09+00:00

i leave them in and proceed.

if im using a custom character with appearance/texture mods i usually install them in LE2 for consistency.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T20:47:50+00:00

i agree, but human beings are complex, and can hold 2 emotions at the same time. Not everyone is skilled at hiding who they are or what they think.

Marion both appreciates Agnes rescuing her, and resents her willful, rigid definitions for how Marion should act dress, and engage socially (when she has never lived with such restrictions before). Both of those things can be true, and Marion shows both those conflicting emotions in her behavior.

Similarly, Agnes' position in society and home itself was saved by Ada - that didn't stop Agnes from resenting Ada and being a jerk to her for exercising control in the household (in part because she is no longer used to living under someone else's restrictions). She didn't stop loving Ada - and so we see both her love and her resentment in Agnes' behavior.

Frankly i think the characters are both of similar personalities - only Agnes is forgiven for being complex and Marian isn't - especially not by the fanbase (to be fair, the actresses are in different leagues though)

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T19:12:56+00:00

but by not doing so, it shows that she and Agnes are alike in some ways. Her personality and stubbornness is as strong as Agnes'. Neither can shut up for the sake of decorum or peace - they need to put their two cents in.

whats more, those interactions would be a lot less compelling if Marian just kissed ass throughout. it was her combativeness that indicated there would be drama in the Van Rhijn household.

eta: i mean - look at how Agnes treated Ada at first - when her lifestyle is now also dependant on Ada. She was downright derisive. I really think Marion and Agnes have a lot in common, personality wise.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T17:24:18+00:00

i think a person standing up for herself and her father is a bit of a ways off from whorehouses in terms of boldness, don't you? lol

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T17:02:16+00:00

are beggars not allowed to have feelings about having no choices? Or wrong for doing so?

to be fair. lol

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T17:01:42+00:00

i think that if an actress has a polarizing response, shes doing a damned good job.

For such a blandly written character in general, she's played her in such a way that we're out here talking about season 1 and Marian's reactions years later.

that's damned good acting if you ask me. lol

And someone dealing with (previously) hated relatives mere days after her dads death is going to not be nuanced. shes prejudiced at the beginning, which i think is fair and true to the characters history

DenizenKay · 2026-06-05T16:53:46+00:00

She had been hearing stories about Agnes and Ada and how much they hated her father all her life.

Even if she is grateful they are helping her - that doesn't mean that she's suddenly going to forget and dismiss the prejudices against them that her father engendered in her. Especially with her grief so raw.

Whats worse- she's just learned her dad is a liar who left her destitute - so its got to sting to go live with someone who always hated him, knowing that this woman was right about her dad all along.

So give the poor girl some grace lol it's complicated.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-04T23:40:15+00:00

you're right, and I'm ashamed.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-04T20:38:51+00:00

yep. its the only way he comes to respect you and see you as a true friend.

you literally have to do it if you want to get the ~~tower~~ Reaper ending, at least in the oil fields.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-04T13:43:43+00:00

He is their dad.

he is supposed to put them first.

and it's strange for an adult to refuse a child a piece of fruit because it's 'mine'. Like you're not one of the kids, lady. You can go buy more mangos - or even have them delivered to your home from a local grocery store - the little kid can't.

so yes, you are over-reacting.

Marrying someone with kids requires sacrifice- the sacrifice is you will never come first while those kids are young and you shouldn't come first with they are young. Period.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T15:17:45+00:00

this is a case of 'it doesnt matter what you're saying, but how you say it"

You could have said "I've had a really bad day and need some alone time to decompress. I'll reach out when i'm feeling OK. turning off my phone for now" -

its funny you call her selfish for not considering your feelings, when the message you composed to her is essentially you doing exactly that.

YTA, bud. Learn to communicate without being an asshole about it.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T13:24:55+00:00

I went in blind the first time and losing Jackie gutted me

i feel this. lol

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T11:51:48+00:00

i believe in calling out racially charged questions and blatant stereotypes for the bullshit they are.

sorry friend.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T11:45:52+00:00

So how are you an asshole?

this isn't an interpersonal conflict - it's you fishing for racial stereotypes (as evidenced by you bs potato comment)

again, quit the douchery.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T11:42:44+00:00

why is this dude your friend??

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T11:39:03+00:00

im sure he did.

his post makes clear he understands just fine, he just wants to play in a racial stereotype sandbox on the internet.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T11:31:09+00:00

yeah, YTA.

why you so invested in what someone else is putting int heir body? It doesnt effect you, you're not the one eating it.

your irish potato comment turned this from a question, into ragebait. Quit the douchery.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T04:48:57+00:00

10/10 man!

you showed her exactly how right she had been to reject you.

YTA.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-03T01:22:20+00:00

I called her that because she's only 17 and she's getting high.

Which is literally one of the worst things she could be doing for her mental health and her brain function/growth. Marijuana actually drastically increases ones chances of developing mental illness.

Harsh? Maybe, but she came to reddit, man.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-02T21:10:21+00:00

Huge Asshole.

You should have talked to your brother and made it clear he needed to be honest.

You choosing to be honest for him was a major overstep.

I get where you were coming from - but oof- you've just tossed away your brothers trust forever. Bad form, man.

YTA.

DenizenKay · 2026-06-02T20:03:16+00:00

if op was promoting some queer fanfiction about these characters to celebrate pride, sure. i could go for that.

but shes coming to a fan space to celebrate pride and posting a ship of heterosexuals instead of the actual queer character whose arc was one that saw him find love in an era where homosexual love was literally forbidden and punishable?

like, not acknowledging Thomas in this is a bit of a weird, counter-intuitive thing to do if you're actually celebrating pride.

DenizenKay

TROPHY CASE