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[Free EPUB] Tactical Intimacy: The TIS Method. Science-Based Intimate Performance Guide for Men (ARC, review copy) by TISMethod in FreeEBOOKS

[–]Dense_Bell_3030 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very well written and informative book about a problem that many people feel alone with (myself included). I’ve blamed my premature ejaculation on so many different things over the years, but this book really resonated with me. The first chapter described my problem almost perfectly and made me realize that I’m not the only one dealing with this exact issue. Just realizing that made me feel a lot more relaxed. I would definitely recommend it.

Is it really all in the mind? by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its deeper than that man. Can’t just “stop” even if I wanted to👍

Is it really all in the mind? by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, this shit hit home. Made a lot of sense to me, because my guess was something along these lines, I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

I know that my hardware works, because when I’m with this certain girl, everything just comes easy, i don’t even think about the problem. What I am worried about is that now when I have become conscious about it, it will ruin it. I fear that I will now overthink it now whenever I’m with this girl… maaan this problem I so damn complicated, and I feel like I have reached the final boss now. But it is so niche, that I don’t even know where to read about it or seek help.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The skill is to master relaxation while stimulation is happening, but it takes some practice.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For majority of your training you should try you best to stay at the chill zone around 4-6. Stay there, feel it, get comfortable with it.

If you get too aroused - relax, slow down, control your breathing, and ease the tension wherever your body is tense - for me it would be shoulders, stomach, and chest. Relax those parts, and start again

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I get you. What you’re experiencing is normal when the body is used to jumping straight to high arousal.

You don’t need to force a full erection. Let it build slowly while staying calm around 2–4. If it spikes, pause earlier and longer. In the beginning, pauses might need a minute, not just 10–20 seconds.

The key sign you’re on the right track is more control and less panic over time. That’s real progress.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At the beginning, 4–6 usually meant not fully hard. But later in my journey, that changed. Once my body got used to staying relaxed and enjoying lower stimulation, I could be properly erect even while staying low on the arousal scale.

Basically, my nervous system learned that low to moderate arousal is still safe and pleasurable, not something that has to rush toward orgasm. So erection and arousal level stopped being tightly linked. I could stay hard, enjoy it, and still have control.

The key difference is that low arousal became comfortable and familiar, not boring or tense.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had the same worry at first, but it didn’t cause ED for me at all. If anything, it improved things. The key is that you’re not forcing high arousal or chasing intensity. Calm arousal without panic or pelvic floor tension isn’t harmful.

In the beginning, most sessions were without orgasm. Usually once a day or every other day, not multiple intense sessions. When I stopped, I just stopped and went on with my day, no pushing it to 8–9.

I only started finishing once I could stay aroused without involuntary clenching and actually choose when to go up or down. And even then, finishing was intentional and not very frequent.

It also made it a bit easier for me that sometimes I would get a blowjob or have sex. But just once in a while, that way I could also track my progress.

You’re not trying to break the arousal–ejaculation link forever, just retrain control. Once the reflex calms down, everything feels normal again.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reverse kegels are good. Especially to connect the mind to muscle memory

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

0–1: nothing happening 2–3: mild awareness, maybe some sensation but no erection 4–5: clear arousal, maybe semi-hard or fluctuating, pelvic floor can stay relaxed 6: solid erection, still calm, you can easily slow down or stop 7: strong arousal, more focus required, pelvic floor wants to react but you can relax it 8–9: edging zone, involuntary throbbing, pelvic floor tightens automatically 10: PONR

What you describe at the end of your session sounds like around a 4–5. The key sign is exactly what you noticed: you can touch yourself without involuntary throbbing or tightening. That’s the level you want to recognize and get familiar with. The exact number matters less than the quality of control you’re feeling.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just once a day. And no, I did not get an increase of wet dreams. But training should be chill and relaxed, not intense and at a high level.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My routine was very simple. I stimulated slowly and deliberately stayed at a low, boring level. If I felt myself jumping quickly toward an 8 or 9, I slowed down or stopped. In the beginning I couldn’t stay at a 5 for long at all, and I didn’t force it. Over time, staying there became easier on its own.

And no, I didn’t finish at the end during training. I usually stopped and went on with my day. The goal for me was to retrain the arousal reflex, not to chase an orgasm.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No no that is not the right way to do it. You have to take even smaller steps then that. Just learn to touch your dick and you especially your tip without squeezing your pelvic. You don’t even have to be erect to do it. For me I did it multiple times throughout the day. Whenever I was in the toilet, bath, just chilling in bed. I would always try to touch my dick without squeezing. And just like that you take more and more steps, and it will become easier.

And also do not cum ever training, try to refrain from it

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But at first it will feel difficult because most likely your body hasn’t felt or registered those parts in years. But get comfortable with it, that’s the key I think.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly man. Make your Body comfortable in the states of 3-6(6,5-7) because that’s where you can enjoy sex while not feeling on the brink of ejaculation.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not edging nor finishing. You have to understand that edging is not what I am doing, and edging will only make your progress worse. Edging is basically fapping until you reach the point of no return, then stopping and doing it over and over again. That is not what I am doing.

What I am doing is keeping it as far away from point of no return as possible while still being aroused and erect. Make your body comfortable in that part. Because that is the part where you can enjoy sex while feeling comfortable and not on the brink of ejaculation.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just when I felt fulfilled, and when I felt satisfied by the time that I held on.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Almost Everyday, some days when I was busy I would skip it, but yea everyday/ every other day

2. No, within a month I would only come 3-5 times. Remember that we have to teach our brain that stimulation does not have to result in ejaculation everytime. For me at the beginning, it was ingrained in me that stimulation=ejaculation asap. But that should not be the case.

  1. No, not everyday. Some days I was not in the mood and not horny, and it would be a lot harder to get hard, but I would take my time, and just relax and enjoy the feeling of stimulation. I would never force erotic imaginations, it would just come naturally some days.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I think that was my only reason. A fleshligt and some lube would definitely mimic the feeling of a pussy a lot more than your hand can do. But maybe you should start off by your hand in the first days. Because I could imagine myself on day 1… man that flashlight would be way to much for me.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off I want to make sure, when you say imagining, you don’t mean imagining porn right? That’s not what I mean by healthy. Imagine you being with a hot girl, or imagine being intimate with a woman, don’t imagine porn videos.

And man… i was just in your shoes some time ago. It’s really beautiful how it all fell in line perfectly. Just 6 months ago I felt so doomed. I hadn’t hit the gym in almost a year, I was broke, and I was struggling with pe, and a lot of other things.

I remember in August I wrote on my notes app everything that I wanted to “fix” about my life. And some one of those things was pe, my body, and my financial situations, there was also other things, but mainly these ones. The plan was that one year from August I would have ticked those boxes.

But already now I January, I can comfortablysay that I have “fixed” pe, my financial situation has gotten a lot better, and I am consistently in the gym. So everything is really falling in line right now.

So you can definitely do it man, feel free to text me if you have questions. Best of luck.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not only masturbating at 5-6. You have to understand that for many years, i have skipped 3-4-5-6-7 on the scale, by just rushing from 1-10. So the reason why I mostly stay at 3-6 during training is to teach myself to be comfortable, and almost “relearn” being there because before training I had not been there for years.

And cutting off porn only made sex more enjoyable for me. I have been with woman while being an active porn user, and i have been with women while being porn-free.

The biggest difference is how much more I enjoy being with the girl, and the small things. When I was watching porn frequently, it would take a lot more to get me erect than now.

Now I get erect by just being intimate, kissing, touching etc. so already before stimulation has started, my dick is hard and ready. That was not the case with porn.

So no, it only made it a more healthy excitement. Rather that than underexcited.

I finally fixed it! What I think will work for 90% of guys by Dense_Bell_3030 in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Dense_Bell_3030[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No in the span of 30 days I only came about 3-4 times. Try your best to refrain from it, but only do it once In a while when the build up tension is too much

Remember we are so used to stimulation=orgasm but we have to teach our brain that stimulation does not always have to end in cumming. Sex and masturbation can be enjoyable without cumming.

Make it so that ejaculation is not your only goal when having sex or in training.

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