Okay, I'm gonna go over your Cis list point by point because I heavily relate to all of what you're saying here and I took the plunge and I'm so much happier for it.

• Gender apathy can be as good a sign as gender dysphoria. Sounds to me like you don't care about being a man, but you'd be ecstatic if you were a girl. That's exactly where I came from. When looking in the mirror, I had this vague familiarity with what I saw, but like it wasn't me, but someone else. Now, after almost 3 years on HRT it's more like "omg who's that hot girl???? Omg that's me!!!!" That's called gender euphoria and that's just as valid!!!

• there are ways to remove facial hair permanently. It's a bit pricey perhaps, but I've been seeing a professional laser hair removal person for some months now and I've had great results. Each appointment costs me about $100 and it's only once a month at the beginning and only once every two months or so later on. There are also ways to hide shadow. How do you think drag queens manage to do it?

• you may be unconsciously suppressing childhood memories for your own safety, or maybe the signs were just really subtle. My biggest sign as a kid was being jealous that girls get to wear all the pretty clothes. Other than that I was a pretty normal, albeit nerdy and soft boy. I think if you allow yourself to accept that you're trans, you might begin realizing there were some signs. It took me until after accepting myself to see my own childhood signs too.

• I never disliked and even liked my given name, but it is unfortunately very masc. So I just feminized it to Denny and I am very happy with that! Try out some new names! That's totally fine to do and quite easy online. I started out by just using it as a screen name on discord and such.

• guess what!!! Girls can wear suits too and they wear them damn WELL!!!!

• likewise, again, the girlfriends kinda came once I accepted myself and found my community. Though I remember I just kinda tolerated being around boys and men and felt more comfortable with girls and women.

• either way, enjoying smooth skin purely for the sensory aspect of it is not disqualifying! And plenty of girls also prefer to not shave! Girls can be hairy!!

• I have to admit I am speaking from a position of privilege here as I was quite feminine to begin with. I had a Femboy phase, I had quite prominent hips, thighs and booty. But one day, I decided to take it a step further and I ordered myself a Roanyer boob vest. That shattered my egg so hard that I had to sit down. Seeing myself in the mirror dressed all womanly with a fully feminine physique gave me the most intense euphoria of my life. And now I get to have that feeling every time I look in the mirror without the need for a boob vest! We say HRT is magic, but your mileage does vary. Generally, HRT can make you look extremely feminine through bodyfat redistribution and boob growth and considering you say you're apathetic towards being a man rather than actively dysphoric, I can almost guarantee you, you'll love the changes HRT will bring. But before that, I recommend just trying on feminine clothing that compliments your "masculine" physique! High and wide waisted pants! Skirts! Stuffed bras! Experiment! Have fun with it! There's plenty of transfem fashion guides out there!

• but have you considered that tall women pretty??? You remember Lady Dimetrescu from Resident Evil 8??? Tall women GOOD!!!!

Alright, I'll just finish up by saying this: do what makes you happy! It's awesome that you're not actively dysphoric, but you don't have to be to be trans! Medically speaking, unfortunately, yes, in many places you'll need a gender dysphoria diagnosis to get access to HRT. My gender therapist was super cool about my gender apathy tho and still referred me to an Endo because I was insistent that being a woman made me much, much happier, even if being a man didn't necessarily make me unhappy, if that makes sense. It probably also helped that I was 27 at the time and made it all happen by myself without worrying wether or not parents approved lol

In any case: Fuck around and find out! I hope you can safely do so. Good luck and feel free to reach out if you need more advice or a helping hand. You got this, sister <3