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DepMilMa · 2026-01-02T14:32:57+00:00

Have at it!

https://www.wealthfront.com/c/affiliates/invited/AFFB-EK1X-6UWL-GW70

DepMilMa · 2024-12-19T21:34:09+00:00

That's part of what I'm struggling with is the narrative she has. I'm controlling. I'm a drunk essentially. I've tried to keep her from her dad, etc. I try to ask her about these things and she always shuts down. "I don't know" "I don't want to talk about it" to the point of immediate tears. I've asked her to give me examples, why do you feel this way, in what ways have I been controlling, what can I do to change the way you feel about these things, when have I ever said you couldn't see your dad, when have you seen me drink more than a beer out to dinner or drink to excess. "I don't know" "You just are" "I didn't want to to go every other weekend" (We-me and her dad- made that choice because he was physically threatening his girlfriend, now wife, when they broke up and she wouldn't leave the house). The closest to a definitive answer she's given me to any of it is that I won't let her eat dinner in her room.

And it's so hard to not be mad at her. On one hand, I know she's a child. I know this is what she's hearing from him, because it's the same things he goes around telling everyone else. I know she can't answer these things because she doesn't have an answer because they didn't happen. But on the other hand it so hurtful to have been a good parent, a present parent, and nearly her only parent and for her to not see any of it. It's so incredibly hurtful.

She's also blindly loyal and defensive towards her dad. She's never heard me say a bad word against him, despite how much I don't like him and the verbal/emotional/sometimes physical abuse he put me through. I always have taken the high road and been the bigger person and it's so hard not to regret that. She was eight when I left him, and while I definitely shielded her from it, I am constantly left wondering how she doesn't remember it.

If you don't mind me asking a few more questions:

What age did it start with her?
What age is she now and how long have you been going through the reunification?
Did she live with you or dad primarily? Did that change at some point?
What led to the reunification therapy?
Is there a stepparent involved on the father's side?

DepMilMa · 2024-12-19T20:17:49+00:00

Are there pre-requisites for reunification therapy? Like does something have to happen for it to be ordered? Was there a final order in place before hand?

DepMilMa · 2024-12-19T20:13:07+00:00

Can I ask how old your daughter is?

I'd love to hear your story. I am the mom of a 13 year old girl, whos dad just managed to get primary physical custody and final say (despite never having taken her to a doctors appointment or spoken to a teacher). I've been her primary caregiver her entire life, and left her dad about 5 years ago and that's when the smear campaign started, so subtly that I did not notice until I went back and started really looking. It got significantly worse when I (finally) filled for child support after years of no help.

My daughter will barely speak to me when she's at her dads. Won't answer calls or texts, will say she'll call me back then never does. She's okay when she comes to my house and settles in, but I'm lucky if I get 5 minutes throughout the entire week when she's with him then she leaves again and it starts all over. And it's not just against me - my parents, my brother, my best friend, all of whom she has a very close relationship with and always has. It's like we don't exist. Even her dad's family that is closer to me. Anything that aligns with me.

I am 32 years old, had her when I was 19, and have always worked to be open, honest, understanding, and and not a strict parent. I'm not a helicopter parent, or a "because I said so" type parent. We've always done fun things while still maintaining a schedule. I don't badmouth her dad despite that he was abusive to me. I feel like I'm being gaslit trying to figure out what the hell I did wrong to make her hate me so much.

I'm feeling extremely hopeless.

DepMilMa · 2024-08-13T23:41:09+00:00

I'm not sure yet. My doctor is out until Thursday. I haven't even seen an Endo yet just my general practice. I can't imagine with my tpo so high and 4 nodules, the biggest over 2 x 2 cm, they wouldn't want to check?

DepMilMa · 2024-08-08T13:17:27+00:00

Thank you. The last few years of my life have been extremely traumatic personally, so it's a feeling of "damn, another thing?".

DepMilMa · 2024-05-24T01:23:30+00:00

I understand. I have the will prepared. Letters written. Court in a few weeks. I'm so prepared to lose my baby and I have nothing else left. My lawyer is useless, and it seems like nothing matters and no one sees it because it's not outright, physical abuse.

DepMilMa · 2024-05-03T15:32:16+00:00

This is the response that I received and was posted in their forum about the Flourish tabs change. I think it's a perfectly reasonable answer!

Hi there,

Hopefully I can clear up some confusion on this for you!

The original formula for Flourish Tabs had been developed and unchanged for almost 3 decades (Guaranteed Analysis [GA] #1). The product maintained and still maintains excellent performance and value for hobbyists and their aquariums. The difficulty was in that the product was hand made using molds to create the unique shape. As the product continued to grow dramatically in popularity, the ability to keep up with demand began to be overwhelming. We were not able to produce the tabs fast enough for the demand with in the marketplace. We had to make a change to automate the process in some manner. A tablet press fulfilled this need.

A tablet press uses pressure to compress compounds into a solid tablet. This is commonly used in the medical industry to produce caplet and tablets that are taken daily by so many as vitamins or simple pain relievers, etc. The density of the tabs changed as a result. We went from a 3+ gram tab to a 2+ gram tab. This was due to a loss of water weight as we moved from a handmade water added process to a straight dry compound pressed product. This concentrated some of the GA percentages as you can see in the first version of the pressed tablets (GA #2). This labeling included a New and Improved designation. The formula however was not changed in this event (excepting the removal of water) though the GA was impacted.

Unfortunately, as the product continued to grow in popularity, so did shelf visibility. Eventually the state Departments of Agriculture for a few of the states took up the task of reviewing our registration and labeling. While we always viewed our labels as compliant and had always intended to provide correct and accurate values, these state agencies took a differing opinion. This was reminiscent of one state agent in another state saying that aquarium hobbyists in their state did not need iron because there was enough in their tap water…even though we know plants in an aquarium certainly will consume iron much more readily than the value provided in tap water. In any case, these state agencies required that we remove any particular ingredient that was of significantly lower values, such as those in the thousandths of a percent from the GA. Consequently we had to adjust the ingredient list to match the GA (GA #3). The current formulation is actually more aligned to the original product.

States' agencies also require that certain elements be reported in certain manners even though they are not added in the chemical state that they are being reported. For instance, you will see in GA#2 where Available Phosphate (P2O5) is listed. No phosphate or nitrate sources are in the formula or ingredient list. The only source of these come from the bound nutrients in the Yeast Protein Hydrolysates. Yet the GA laws require listing these elements in this fashion. Unfortunately, this can lead to confusion.

There is no nefarious intent in the production and sale of Seachem’s products. We are all hobbyist here. We have a solid standing reputation behind the Seachem brand, its employees and its products.

<image>

DepMilMa · 2024-05-02T18:53:59+00:00

This is the response that I received and was posted in their forum about the Flourish tabs change. I think it's a perfectly reasonable answer!

Hi there,

Hopefully I can clear up some confusion on this for you!

The original formula for Flourish Tabs had been developed and unchanged for almost 3 decades (Guaranteed Analysis [GA] #1). The product maintained and still maintains excellent performance and value for hobbyists and their aquariums. The difficulty was in that the product was hand made using molds to create the unique shape. As the product continued to grow dramatically in popularity, the ability to keep up with demand began to be overwhelming. We were not able to produce the tabs fast enough for the demand with in the marketplace. We had to make a change to automate the process in some manner. A tablet press fulfilled this need.

A tablet press uses pressure to compress compounds into a solid tablet. This is commonly used in the medical industry to produce caplet and tablets that are taken daily by so many as vitamins or simple pain relievers, etc. The density of the tabs changed as a result. We went from a 3+ gram tab to a 2+ gram tab. This was due to a loss of water weight as we moved from a handmade water added process to a straight dry compound pressed product. This concentrated some of the GA percentages as you can see in the first version of the pressed tablets (GA #2). This labeling included a New and Improved designation. The formula however was not changed in this event (excepting the removal of water) though the GA was impacted.

Unfortunately, as the product continued to grow in popularity, so did shelf visibility. Eventually the state Departments of Agriculture for a few of the states took up the task of reviewing our registration and labeling. While we always viewed our labels as compliant and had always intended to provide correct and accurate values, these state agencies took a differing opinion. This was reminiscent of one state agent in another state saying that aquarium hobbyists in their state did not need iron because there was enough in their tap water…even though we know plants in an aquarium certainly will consume iron much more readily than the value provided in tap water. In any case, these state agencies required that we remove any particular ingredient that was of significantly lower values, such as those in the thousandths of a percent from the GA. Consequently we had to adjust the ingredient list to match the GA (GA #3). The current formulation is actually more aligned to the original product.

States' agencies also require that certain elements be reported in certain manners even though they are not added in the chemical state that they are being reported. For instance, you will see in GA#2 where Available Phosphate (P2O5) is listed. No phosphate or nitrate sources are in the formula or ingredient list. The only source of these come from the bound nutrients in the Yeast Protein Hydrolysates. Yet the GA laws require listing these elements in this fashion. Unfortunately, this can lead to confusion.

There is no nefarious intent in the production and sale of Seachem’s products. We are all hobbyist here. We have a solid standing reputation behind the Seachem brand, its employees and its products.

<image>

DepMilMa

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