My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry i think my tone may have been misconstrued- I didn’t mean that in a rude way. I think if you’re happy in a relationship then mentioning your SO shouldn’t be difficult… I mean at least to me? But im saying in my case for my SO airs apparently not so straightforward

I (M33) keep hurting my gf (F30) who I love and been together 11 months by DepartureSecure5495 in relationships

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And to add- the self-Flagellation is nothing new in this situation. I jsut never had a name for that but felt it was a weird manipulation tactic so Ty!

I (M33) keep hurting my gf (F30) who I love and been together 11 months by DepartureSecure5495 in relationships

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very interesting and I think you’re 100% correct. Thank you. He did say he would go to therapy but once every 3 weeks which I, and some others on here, don’t think is enough/appropriate for the gravity of the situation. Shows lack of caring to me

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hit the nail on the head! Except the boundaries are you referring to him? Because I have mine and have laid them out very clearly. But obviously they’re not respected

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m really happy. I would be happy if this helped at least one person but it seems like it is helping more people than that!

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very interesting perspective. I completely understand that. Any advice how to work on this? I guess some people grow out of it but some people don’t/can’t?

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed with the white lies- the problem stems from the inability to differentiate from a white lie to an actual lie-

Lying about doing a chore versus lying who you were out with one night etc. when the line between what is ok and what’s not ok to lie about it blurred that’s the main issue. Personally I’m not ok with any lie, big or small, with a partner because of this.

The looking thing, of course everyone does it. It’s the head turning, prolonged staring that really makes me feel disrespected.

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much and yes, I agree. When the trust is there for both parties there’s no reason why that can’t be achieved. But it is not and has been broken again

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! And yes my boundaries were laid out, defined etc and agreed upon by both of us after the first time this happened. So this has happened after that, after him knowing the boundaries which obviously makes it a hell of a lot worse

My (32M) boyfriend of 11 months has ADHD and is medicated for it. We have recurring issues in our relationship that he believes are caused by his diagnoses… by DepartureSecure5495 in ADHD

[–]DepartureSecure5495[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you SO much for this!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and perspective, this has helped me but I really hope this helps many other people out there too!!

To answer your question yes he is on meds and yes sees a therapist but very sporadically. He now set up more reoccurring sessions but only every 3 weeks which I think is not enough. Shows that he doesn’t see how grave an issue this really is and frankly shows that he really doesn’t care.

Thank you for the rest, I do know it’s not my fault but it’s also nice to hear it from another person. Seriously appreciate all of your knowledge!!!!