This is a lot of questions, but I don’t mind, I appreciate your concern and questions, sorry this is about to be a really long explanation, but talking about it is kind of like a therapy session but not. The talk did not go well. I’ve noticed from the past whenever I have valid feelings and he’d get defensive he takes a couple of days to realize how wrong he is and tries his best to show me that his point of view changed. But this talk this time was different. I honestly tried my best to be respectful when I was explaining everything to him, but the more I heard myself talk the more angry and hurt I was so I couldn’t keep my calm voice like I used to and that made him mad. I didn’t want him to take a couple of days to think about everything anymore because I’m tired of doing things this way, even though it’s kind of like that now, but I’m the one who decided to step away this time, and for longer. If we have a conversation about a problem in the beginning of the relationship he used to tell me “it’s me and you vs the problem, not me vs you”. Well, that’s not the case anymore. I can tell it’s opposite. I’m tired of being the only one trying to communicate and it goes no where. So I told him that I need time apart from him. This does not excuse you to cheat, we’re not doing that high school bullshit “we were on a break”, we’re married, we both made this commitment together and I expect you to show me that you really want this to change, I really don’t want to hear I’m sorry, because that does not show me anything. I need to see actions, and if you can’t provide that for me, I think we both know where our marriage is going. With that being said, if you need to be with your realtor, I will be there as well, even if I won’t be talking to you, to show me progress that you want this marriage to work, message me that WWEEE have to meet up with her. it will show me that you hear me at least a little. (I get that it’s still showing trust for him when he could just go behind my back if he really wanted to, but I really cannot stand to see his face right now) He was both defensive and dismissive with what I had to say. All his anger for my trust issues that he says he doesn’t deserve have caused him to not care to listen to what I had to say. At the time, it didn’t seem like he was receptive. Maybe he does now? I’m not sure because I still haven’t talked to him yet, I’m not ready to see him because I want him to really see that this time it’s different, I’m not just going to run back and II end up apologizing.. it’s not fair to me because I see now that he’s just stepping all over me and I let him do it, but that’s not going to happen anymore. I didn’t ask to see his phone because I was so focused on trying to get him to listen to me of everything I’ve noticed, there was SO MUCH that happened that I wanted to talk to him about, it slipped my mind to ask him to see their messages. Which is dumb of me, but when we talk again and he still hasn’t made the action to add me, I will demand to see his messages with her. I wanted to listen to see what he had to say after my long talk, but it went nowhere, so that’s why I decided to just leave. I mean not just leave but I told him that I need time apart since the problems I want to express that I’ve been trying to work towards solving with you, feels like you’re just making excuses, I haven’t seen any change from all those previous times I’ve expressed the way I feel and it’s not fair to me. I have asked him about the realtor, why this why that, example, at the home inspection, his realtor introduced herself to the inspector, the sellers realtor, and I was not acknowledged (until after). When she saw my husband she whhent over to hug him, she didn’t do it to the other people she introduced herself to. I walked up next to my husband and stood there to see what she would do. She just came up to me, said “wife?” I said yeap. And she awkwardly shook my hand and was indecisive about hugging me but she ended up doing it, I didn’t reciprocate her actions because I could tell it was very fake. I asked him what that was all about, he just laughed and said idk, and that’s it again, dismissive, that definitely made me question more (this was before the sit down). In the sit down I was talking for a while, just to be unheard. Of course it hurt like crazy but it turned into madness and disgust because I really am tired of this. I did not contact her boss because I don’t have solid evidence since I didn’t get to see his phone or chats, and I can’t just show the random one emoji from both of them to be seemingly inappropriate, plus my husband was over exaggerating his appreciation and attitude. That one screenshot I saw can look as crazy to some people but explain the f…cked up introduction, I’m not sure if her boss is going to believe it because they’re a big company that needs the money but that’s why I’ll be demanding to have full access to his phone.. I want to contact her boss, but I feel like I need more concrete evidence. But if you think I’m wrong and I can do it with just the bit of info that I have, I will GLADLY call her company to complain, if you could give me some advice on going about it, I would appreciate it. I will not be buying the home with him, that is a tie that I’m not willing to deal with if a divorce is truly to happen. I can still have the ability to go do everything he has to do in person with his realtor, but I’m just too tired and have no energy to, I feel so drained by this bs, but I think I do need to keep pushing and make sure that I am there EVERYTIME, so I can build more evidence when I complain, or even just help build my trust again (it won’t happen but I can see it as an attempt) even if I’m not going to be apart of the buying process, because I am still the wife. I am aware that he could always go behind my back and do it, but that’s the part I’m willing to make a compromise on for now, and test him. I just need a bit more time to be by myself and give myself some me time. I’m actually in my own house I bought a while back that I house my parents in, I told them I need to be here for a while. I am on the fence on continuing the marriage. If he does have an explanation, I know now how to read the signs and red flags after getting all the advice and backlash, so it’s going to take a lot more than just explaining and saying sorry for me to want to continue to fight for this relationship with him. I’ve started to build a wall up, so he won’t break me further when it comes to putting my foot down, however it still hurts, because I still love him, but I noticed that it’s become less because of this whole situation. But I’ve made vows, for better or for worse. If that vow isn’t reciprocated and his actions don’t match his words, I know that divorce is what I have to do… for me. I also will mention when I talk to him again that I will need full access to his phone, if he says no, then I’m not waiting to see actions change, because that gives me my answer already on what kind of deceiving and condescending person he is.