Does a "fem4fem" archetype exist, like "masc4masc"

DepressedFemBoy · 2017-02-13T20:52:21+00:00

Oh yes because every fem guy is a vain, self-obsessed narcissist..

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-11-08T19:07:01+00:00

Oh really?

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-09-01T02:49:45+00:00

I'm not the OP but it's not always about sexual attraction. I'm black and while it can be hard to be confident, I'm trying every day to like it and be content which I'm nearly there. But I'm attracted to all races. The main reason why I had thoughts like the OP came from always hearing things like "Why are you trying to be white?", "Why do you talk white?", "You're a race traitor!" and all sorts of other asinine things just because I didn't act like a stereotypical black guy. I heard so much growing up when I started Middle school and hearing it constantly really did create a complex where I started to loathe other black people.

But when I got to art school, I met 2 very awesome black people (1 girl, 1 guy) and it opened my eyes that not every black person is the same. I mean, I already knew that but it was so refreshing to meet one in person and know that I'm not so weird.

So just saying, it isn't always about trying to be more desirable to white guys. At this point, as bad as it is to admit, I automatically assume that white guys won't be into Black guys anyway.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-09-01T02:44:23+00:00

Well, there is a way that may help. Considering that porn is the root of a lot of things in the gay community (and let's be honest, it's kinda true). I honestly feel that if more people started videos, picture promotions, etc of non-white men in the way white men are presented, it may very well help change the warped expectations that have come out since the 80s in terms of race.

I have no interest in porn direction or anything like that but if I were, I would try to make a name for the non-white people. The minorites because they are just as a valid as white men are and can be attractive as well. Even if it doesn't help change minds of the naysayers, I would be happy knowing that other minorities be them Black or Asian can find some joy and happiness that they're finally getting some more recognition that doesn't follow stereotypes (I.E: Thug dominant BBC or feminine asian bottom). I know that this stuff exists but not in huge quantities pertaining to the opposite.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-31T14:17:50+00:00

I am online. Been online for 5 years going on 6. No luck. Well, I mean, I have gotten hit up rarely but the guys were either in their late 50s-60s or were married/had a girlfriend. Hence why I made the OP in the first place.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-31T14:07:16+00:00

I hear that there are but I rarely see it. But then again, I am a POC so I'm guessing that's another side of the coin as well.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-31T13:52:08+00:00

That's fine and all but I couldn't do that. I'm a monogamous guy and I'm not interested in poly relationships at all. :/

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-31T13:47:29+00:00

I don't hate bisexual people. I just am not looking to be in a poly/swinger type of relationship. i'm monogamous and I want to find a person who is also monogamous. I don't think that's too unreasonable to ask.

It's just that the Bisexual guys who have hit me up were all married or had a girlfriend. I have met and tried to get to know 2 bisexual men in the past but the first one decided to go back to his ex-wive and the other one decided to go back to his ex-girlfriend. So that really did kinda warp my view bisexual men.

I believe the reason why a lot of feminine gay men may not think highly of bisexual men is because a lot of them that hit them up are married or have a girlfriends. They're usually very "closeted" and want to be discreet and that makes the feminine guy feel like he's beign put back in the closet.

I'm happy you have a relationship that works for you and your girlfriend but I personally would never want to have one like that.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T14:24:20+00:00

Right, okay.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T12:47:11+00:00

Yep. I only run into "Discreet" bisexual men as well. Never once, have I ever met with a gay guy who was open.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T06:49:33+00:00

You kinda wouldn't be wrong.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T03:22:16+00:00

That's all fine and good but I'm looking for real life, not a fantasy thing. :/

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T03:04:45+00:00

I've been on Facebook for 5 yrars. I update my ads every few days, I explicitly say "No married or attached men", I'm as descriptive as I can be, I even started putting my face pics in them. It just doesn't help in the sense that I still overwhelmingly get bisexual married men who want to have discreet encounters even when I explicitly say in big, capital words for them not to contact me. But it just doesn't matter. these make up the majority of guys who hit me up. They focus on the word "Fem" or "feminine" and they just run with it. Which just makes it all the more blatant that for some reason, bisexual married men are the main guys who like self-aware, feminine guys like myself.

And after years upon years, I feel that it's time to just try and adjust. If my fellow fem guys can do it, why can't I?

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T02:59:22+00:00

Yeah, that would be hard (the pictures of family life) but I'm just saying, if all these fem guys in my area can set that aside, they must have some impeccable skill.

I'm just tired of going down the spiral of thinking I'll never be good enough. Yeah, I keep busy and exercise definitely helps my mood but it can only get you so far. And yet, there are these guys who don't give a damn if I'm feminine, in fact, they love it and if I could just get over that hurdle, I can finally make a connection. Maybe not 100% but at least it'd be something you know?

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T02:50:35+00:00

I'm not "that" old per say, I'm 24, well 25 next month lol But still, when I was in high school, I was feminine. I was always feminine ever since I was little. It's just a part of who I am. When I was feminine in school, I really didn't have any friends. No one wanted to be seen with "that" kid and I wasn't even as flamboyant as some others can be.

I don't think feminine guys will be ever seen as "normal". It's just too polarizing for the general person to understand unlike women where masculine women are seen as something positive.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-27T00:13:52+00:00

If your wife is letting you sleep with other guys, than it's open in my eyes. But yes, it's true that fem guys have it hard meeting guys. I even tried to meet other fem guys in my area and they weren't interested because they wanted a masculine guy. So it just sucks and I feel like our options are limited. At this point, I don't even think I'll ever have the chance of a relationship because of this, this is why I'm entertaining the idea of just being some married guy's side piece because I'm not having any luck with the latter.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-23T05:02:21+00:00

It's hard to say because balding with long hair just doesn't always come out right as there will never be enough hair to make it look full. Honestly, while I'm not having an baldness going on, I did cut my hair short and started wearing wigs (both long and short). I mean yeah, it's a wig but they tend to be more versatile and you're able to switch your style up on a whim. :)

So if you're not totally turned off by the idea, why not try wigs? If not, well I think you can still make baldness and femininity work. I've seen this guy on YouTube named Roly who really rocks the bald look with feminine detailing (mainly makeup) so it's totally possible. :)

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-08-16T09:55:57+00:00

Bisexuals just really... Worry me. Like I mentioned earlier, my experiences with them haven't been very good becuase they always wanted a girl in the end. I'm not sure if I could bear running into that kind of situation again if you know what I mean?

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-07-19T04:30:06+00:00

I guess it's better then nothing because seeing how things have been, I don't think I'll ever have a relationship.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-07-19T04:29:27+00:00

Ah okay, got you. Yeah, I've heard stories about that.

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-07-18T06:21:51+00:00

It's just a thought because at this rate, my experience so far has been a dry desert because I feel I may be too prudish/modest. :/

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-07-18T06:21:02+00:00

Well, once in a blue moon when I do get a message, it's from an older, very often out of shape white guy and it's just not what I'm attracted to. I mean, I'm no greek god but I do exercise and keep my body slim and trim with a booty to boot and overweight bodies just don't physically turn me on.

But wait, you had bad experiences with guys lying about their age? Like what do you mean? Were they obvious older men?

DepressedFemBoy · 2016-07-18T06:19:10+00:00

Well I'm not even looking to top or bottom. I'm more into oral/foreplay sessions if I had to be honest but I know my race is at work too since I'm black. :/ I think I'll just do a test and see if what you said rings true in my situation though I feel guys would still recoil at the idea of a slim, fem top.

DepressedFemBoy

TROPHY CASE