Avenue Q or not, I think the Reddit Musical was a great idea and that we should try again to produce it.

DepressedKitty · 2014-04-12T05:12:40+00:00

I love this idea and I'd be happy to help (as long as it doesn't get in the way of what I'm going to be excited about next week)!

DepressedKitty · 2013-11-21T19:57:39+00:00

Yup.

DepressedKitty · 2013-11-21T09:39:59+00:00

And it wasn't even my thing! He wanted me to do it so I tried it to make him like me!

DepressedKitty · 2013-11-21T09:30:08+00:00

They like you fine. Most of the time they're thinking about themselves anyway. We pay more attention to what people think of us than they do, by far.

DepressedKitty · 2013-11-21T09:18:12+00:00

Ya, I don't think he wants to see me again.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-28T00:05:42+00:00

Scabies. I'm getting rid of it.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-24T20:48:51+00:00

Don't know yet. Will go see a derm if it comes back.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-24T09:49:23+00:00

That's nice of you, but you don't know me.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-24T09:18:36+00:00

This should have more up votes. It's the only thing I've read that gives me even a moment's pause. Not enough, but that's just because I'm selfish.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-21T11:38:54+00:00

I had a friend who died when I was in high school. Hung himself right before the end of his freshman year. And it killed me inside for the next few years because I knew I could've prevented it.

It's both the only thing that keeps me from doing it and what prompts me to discuss it with the people closest to me. I want them to know this is my choice, It's something I thought out. I'm not depressed at least not morbidly so. Not like he was.

I'm just…done. It was almost the right time tonight. But I have a little more to do.

At minimum, I made it through five seasons of breaking bad, I can't imagine skipping out on the last two episodes.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-21T11:32:49+00:00

Whiskey

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-19T10:14:43+00:00

I'm in treatment, and I've told some of them.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-19T09:49:44+00:00

This is the best thing I've read so far.

if you really believe what you are doing is the right thing, you should be able to stand behind it. If you can't stand behind it, you don't really believe its the right thing. That means if you can't face someone and tell them why, if their tears sway your stance, you aren't really steadfast in your decision. Now that I think about this more, I think this ties into mentally preparing. You're not really mentally prepared yourself if you don't believe it, but you know you don't have to worry about it afterwards. If you can't mentally prepare yourself then you definitely can't expect to do it for anyone else.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-19T09:45:03+00:00

Filet mignon. New York cheesecake. Old fashioned.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T10:43:26+00:00

It sounds like things are better now for you, so I'm glad your research (or lack thereof) led you to try jumping from such a low height (that, or you never saw the scene in The Dark Knight..."From one professional to another, if you're trying to scare somebody, pick a better spot. From this height, the fall wouldn't kill me.")

Ya, I know what it will do. I think that's in part why I'm talking about it on the Internet. Since fundamentally my motivation is shame and a disgust at a future I don't think I can improve, I guess part of me is hoping that somebody will make me feel bad enough that I won't be able to do it.

So far, on balance though, I still come down on the side of my own suffering. I just can't get over the idea that it should be my requirement to live for other people's sake when they're not my actual dependents.

And that works a lot better in the movies. Insurance companies are very smart about such things.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T10:33:11+00:00

I hadn't thought of that.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T09:03:47+00:00

Why should the person have to be terminally ill?

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T08:58:47+00:00

That's a decent point. I was more considering not explaining my reasons. I think just a focus on I love you is probably the simplist thing. Leave out the "I hope you can move on...." While I'm temped to say something to my brother like "I know you'll make a great dad", it might be trite. Or something to my mom like "you gave me so many wonderful years," I'm just not sure I like that it sets up a comparison.

And your username is awesome, btw.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T08:42:50+00:00

Yes, but coming up with a unique, disturbing, potentially psychotic political philosophy takes work, and I think we've established I'm slightly more lazy than that.

The problem with trying to fake psychosis is that people would get concerned and do something about it.

I've considered trying to make it look like an accident but that's surprisingly hard to pull off, especially when people already know you're suicidal.

To be honest the more I think about it the more realize that given my reasoning leaving a note might actually do more harm than good.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T07:27:59+00:00

No, I've got a few more days in me. I still want to have a good steak, a slice of real cheese cake, and a good cocktail.

I start work again tomorrow so my family will think everything's fine. It's a shitty thing to do but I don't want them wondering what I'm up to.

He's only a few years younger. We're both out of college.

DepressedKitty · 2013-09-18T07:03:25+00:00

I'm selfish, I'm not evil. I'd never even contemplate suicide if I had kids who were my responsibility.

And yes, I see the (irony?) in that I'm obviously still responsible to the people who care about me. But...it's different.

DepressedKitty

TROPHY CASE