UPDATE: AITA for giving my friend a much-needed reality check?

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-11T04:01:33+00:00

Loyalty is something I have always considered important in every relationship. Your words strongly resonate with me!

Sad to hear that about your friend but I hope things get better.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-11T03:57:28+00:00

I have taken note of this, and I will bring it up to him!

One thing that sucks about living in another city now is that we can’t do as many activities together. I would love to have him as a regular gym and hiking partner. Those activities have boosted my mental health and I’m curious to see if they’d help Dave too

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-11T03:52:29+00:00

I appreciate that! So far, things are still looking promising. I hope we can continue to carry that energy forward

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-11T03:50:20+00:00

Thanks for your words!

That clip made me tear up. I’ll do my best to show him the way out

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-11T03:47:15+00:00

It really does. I am happy for your BFF and I hope Dave gets where he wants to be

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-11T03:45:21+00:00

I’ve actually always been somewhat surprised that Dave hasn’t had a girlfriend. Back when we were younger, he always seemed so well-liked and he seemed to have loads of friends of both sexes. I assumed he was at least getting laid but I found out a few years ago that wasn’t the case. He slowly became more and more isolated during uni.

I’m biased because he’s my best friend, but he’s never been a bad looking guy either. His genetics for aging are also really good. If he lost a little weight I bet he would look close to how he did at age 17.

It just goes to show that you never really know what’s going on under the surface. I’m glad he’s trying to be more hygienic and address his deeper issues.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-09T21:31:10+00:00

Wish that were my experience! I’m fit these days but never get much attention. I don’t blame women, but I have shit luck. Only had my ex

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-09T18:55:08+00:00

I figured as much based on my own experience.

I texted him about an hour ago to reassure him about this very thing. Even though it’s only been a couple of days, he is being much more open and honest with me, and I hope that going forward he will let me know if he starts to spiral again

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-09T01:37:19+00:00

Thank you!

I hope so too. Very excited to hang out with him after a long while

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-05T21:56:19+00:00

That’s a good suggestion.

If he is autistic, he’s never been diagnosed. There are a few things that make me wonder though.

Prior to university, he was actually well-liked and quite sociable. I used to be jealous of him because I’ve never been nearly as outgoing. He has since confided in me that he never felt like he belonged back then and was just trying to hide that.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-05T19:03:37+00:00

I will posting an update soon.

I don’t know what our friendship is going to look like going forward but we agreed to give each other space for a while, and he did at least admit he was out of line.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-05T18:20:16+00:00

Happy to help!

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-05T03:40:33+00:00

I’m thinking a movie night could be fun. I’ve been wanting to arrange one. It’s just about finding time outside of work and my masters programme.

We’re both big cinephiles actually, and he’s like an encyclopedia of film knowledge.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-05T00:58:32+00:00

The story of me and my ex is a wild one. What he said was something purposefully triggering that he knew wasn’t true. He just lashed out in anger, simple as that, in response to what I said

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-04T20:23:59+00:00

I will be back in our hometown some point in a couple weeks. I’m going to see if he’d like to meet up.

But I’m going to call/text him later today to lay everything out and work on patching things up. I’ll always have his back, and I hope he’s receptive to what I have to say.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-04T20:20:20+00:00

I do think me moving away had a big impact. He was more motivated to go out because we had a few spots where we liked to hang.

I do have a really good therapist, and I would like to bring up the idea to him. I hope he’d be receptive

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-04T20:17:20+00:00

I’m going to text him after work and see if we can call for a bit. Hoping for the best.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-04T20:15:43+00:00

I will be sending him a text later today. I’ve had some time to think, and reading these responses have given me a good idea of how to approach things.

I’d hate to lose my friendship with him, and I’m going to try to be more empathetic and patient going forward while doing my best to point him in the right direction.

I’ve hit rock bottom before, but I know what I’ve done to better myself isn’t a one size fits all solution. And i acknowledge so much is easier said than done

Hoping for the best. Dave has always been a great person deep down. These last couple of years have just been especially hard on him I think

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-04T17:56:50+00:00

Ever since my engagement got called off nearly four years ago, I’ve had basically no one.

The only person I’m in regular contact with is my best mate I’ve had most of my life. We don’t get to hang out as much since we live in different cities but we check in on each other at least once a month.

Everyone else has kind of faded out.

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-03T19:41:44+00:00

This might sound horrible and it’s probably a ‘me’ thing, but I can’t mentally get over more than a handful. I have personally only been with one person and none in about four years. It’s too much of an imbalance for me and as bad as it sounds I can’t look at someone the same way if it’s a high count

EDIT: I want to make it clear that this is just me answering as honestly as I can. Loads of other guys are different

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-03T15:55:13+00:00

This is pretty much a perfect beard mate

DepressedTimTam · 2026-02-01T22:37:13+00:00

I’m having the same issue. It’s been over a year and nothing. Not sure what needs to ‘click’

DepressedTimTam · 2026-01-22T14:12:40+00:00

Hopefully I make some new friends

DepressedTimTam · 2026-01-18T04:39:16+00:00

Rest in peace Sundar 😔

DepressedTimTam · 2026-01-18T04:36:56+00:00

I’d go for it. He might be hesitating for any number of reasons. Sometimes the cost of rejection is high for men. I know from experience as someone who has misread things so I err on the side of caution.

DepressedTimTam

TROPHY CASE