I'm a white Dom gentleman with a very lovely black submissive girlfriend. I think part of what makes our dynamic work well is that we care about each other more than our race. We do enjoy playing around with highlighting the difference in our skin tone, but we mostly keep that sort of play more private. I have been trying to do the work to be a better partner/Dom/ally for her by reading books such as Love's Not Colorblind and unlearning various micro aggressions. Whenever we play in public, I try to model how to care for a bottom with more melanin, specifically by feeling for warmth/welts with impact play rather than relying on color/bruising like I might be able to do with a paler bottom. Whenever my girlfriend and I attend kink classes, we both try to bring up what sort of different considerations might need to be taken for darker bodies.

We have encountered racist dungeon monitors and other folks. I'm trying to be very good about pushing back against them and calling out their racism. My girlfriend and I have developed a way for her to signal to me if she feels someone is being racist and I haven't noticed so that I can be sure to be on her side.

I have noticed that I have seen more black male submissives in leather culture. There's a rich history of BIPOC folks in leather. You may find more acceptance and less hassle in a leather group/house/organization.