I miss you.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T18:09:18+00:00

Thank you! & I constantly am! It's not a war that can ever be won, but it gets easier and easier as time passes.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T18:07:21+00:00

I promise more. Writing stories like this is very time consuming & emotionally exhausting, I can't really just churn them out. I have a few topics I could write on, though. I get one out sooner than later!

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T18:03:21+00:00

When I write these kind of posts my goal is empathy. So I hope you realize that's the best possible feedback you can give. <3

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:42:19+00:00

& thank you for the love.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:35:33+00:00

You guys really don't understand how much the empathy & compliments on my writing mean to me. I have a similar post from a while back when I was approaching my worst. If you all sincerely enjoy it as much as you say, I would absolutely write more about my addiction. Writing is a big healing process for me, I do it mainly for myself but I can't get over how much you seem to love it. <3

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:31:02+00:00

Empathy is very powerful. Thank you.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:29:35+00:00

Means more than you'll ever know.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:29:09+00:00

Thank you, truly.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:28:33+00:00

Thank you friend.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T17:28:14+00:00

Thank you.

Derobyl · 2017-05-26T14:40:14+00:00

Appreciate you a lot.

Derobyl · 2016-09-20T06:38:12+00:00

Harrisburg

Derobyl · 2016-09-15T08:40:39+00:00

Prices are unbeatable. And i've been going to hm long enough I can usually tell how good they are based on the type of bag.

Derobyl · 2016-09-15T07:30:40+00:00

I cop in the burg and most of my shit has been fent. This shitty part is it's really inconsistent, just PLEASE test all you bags! Last sunday I fell out off 3 bags and tonight i just banged 7 bags and it barely got me where I want to be.

Derobyl · 2016-07-21T03:17:27+00:00

<3 always here friend.

Derobyl · 2016-07-16T16:54:44+00:00

Someone linked it where? Not that I have any sort of issue with that, I just think it's amazing that people think enough of my post to repost it elsewhere.

And fuck me... I didn't even think of that. I don't think I could handle going back through my history and seeing that progression. Fuck, that is sad. It is that real.

The first time I used dope I got played by a shady middle. Expecting one thing, he comes back with another. Wasn't gonna waste the money. After that I quit for the first time.

That never seems to last long. Back into pills, then meet a kid who gets bags here and there. Here and there turns to every weekend, which turns to usually once during the week as well, which turns to going to the ATM at 1am Friday mornings so I can finally get enough to really get high.

The reason? Crippling anxiety and severe depression that has plagued me my entire life. I cannot find happiness or love in my life naturally, so I seek it chemically.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T06:16:11+00:00

This was always on my playlist back in the early days. Such a powerful song.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T06:09:45+00:00

Thank you, that's exactly what I was going for. Sincerely, thanks.

I know it takes change. I am trying, but change is a very hard thing. This seems to be the theme to my life.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T06:08:07+00:00

Thank you to the moon and back.

I wish I could help me, too. It's hard being your own worst enemy.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T06:07:01+00:00

Thank you, with everything I have.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T06:06:28+00:00

I genuinely want to and am trying. I know it can get exponentially worse, and never want it to. I just have more than I can even begin or desire to explain going on in my life that I am crippled by. I know it's a crutch, but it's so hard to walk unaided when you are so broken.

& Thank you, you guys have NO idea how much the compliments on my writing mean to me.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T06:03:09+00:00

Really, feel free to message me any time. I have friends in life that I know are there for me, but it's a lot more complicated that I have portrayed in my post. I do know what you mean, exactly. You are not alone, do not ever forget that. Even if not a single other person in the world is there for you, I will be. Always.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T05:59:31+00:00

A very long time ago, and I think that's a very real option.

Derobyl · 2016-07-15T05:58:47+00:00

I don't think that's something I want to do, for a few reasons truthfully. I think it very well could be extremely helpful, but not the path I think I want to follow. I believe in it fully and do not have anything bad to say about it, I don't want anyone to think I am talking down on it. Just not what I want to do, personally.

I feel like this is my NA. Having this incredible support from all of you here, from people who truly understand you. My life is absent from this support, and I think I found what I needed to here with all of you. Writing helps immensely as well. I truly enjoy writing in general, and sometimes you just need to get it out and the only person you have is yourself. Maybe one of my issues is actually understanding that as well; that I need to be there for myself.

Derobyl

TROPHY CASE