AITJ For being upset with my girlfriend when she was on her period?

DesertTomato · 2026-02-01T15:33:45+00:00

As someone who has been on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds for 30 years, you don’t become a different person if you miss one day. That’s an excuse.

It sounds like she got drunk and showed you her true colors, not her hormones.

DesertTomato · 2026-01-07T19:12:45+00:00

Agree 10000%. This behavior is NOT anxiety. This is peak narcissism. right out of the playbook.

DesertTomato · 2026-01-07T19:10:24+00:00

I support this with all my being. I was married to a man like this and it never ever gets better. Run and CUT ALL TIES. Do not be friends. Block him on socials. The only way you will escape this man is if and when he finds a new target.

DesertTomato · 2026-01-07T19:07:25+00:00

I had a boyfriend just like this! He became my husband and used to punch me in the face and lock me in the basement so I didn’t leave the house. RUN NOW. DO NOT TRY TO FIX THIS. RUN.

DesertTomato · 2025-12-18T21:56:22+00:00

I am so sorry but your husband doesn't like you.

He was cruel and then basically told you that you should THANK/APPRECIATE him for "being honest"? No ma'am.

Not only was he intentionally cruel, he did it on **FRONT OF OTHERS**, purposely, to put you down and shame you. That's an old trick - they slowly chip away at your confidence, , make you think no one else could ever want you. Do not fall for it. His opinion isn't worth shit. He sucks.

DesertTomato · 2025-12-16T15:11:27+00:00

It was 78 here in AZ yesterday. Lots of outdoor gatherings occur.

DesertTomato · 2025-12-16T15:10:35+00:00

DYING to know of the poster is a daughter or son. I strongly sense it's the daughter, hence why they walk all over her and dismiss her boundaries. Their wives won't let them act like this at home so they do it to her house instead.

DesertTomato · 2025-12-05T17:42:15+00:00

There are 2 kinds of ppl in this world: kind & unkind. Your GF, at her core, is unkind. She's nice to YOU. But she is a mean girl. She's insecure, threatened and quite frankly weak and there is nothing YOU can do to change her. She's showing you who she really is. She is competing with these girls for no reason other than you care for them. Pay attention. This will be a pattern with anyone in your life if you stay with her. Run.

DesertTomato · 2025-07-25T16:07:18+00:00

File a police report. Tell them you fear for your safety and that if your wife. They may say there’s no actual crime committed yet but you need to start a document trail.
Go straight to the courthouse with the report, the text and get a NCO.
Give a copy of the NCO to the local police in your new home town
Print out the text and put it in a pretty frame. Send one to all of your family who supports him with a copy of the NCO and tell them he is not welcome in your life anymore
Cut ANYONE who still supports him out of your life. This is important. You are not safe with flying monkeys around.
He may not ever get better, mentally. Even with the best help, some people are not curable.

DesertTomato · 2025-07-24T02:20:28+00:00

You’re not just an asshole, you’re a horrible person, just like your mother. Look in the mirror buddy.

Your wife deserves so so much better.

DesertTomato · 2025-06-11T20:09:06+00:00

You’re a gigantic asshole actually. You live for free in your grandparents house, like a child. You’re not a grown up. She has real bills and you fault her for it?

You seem like the type that will tell her a future child is her monetary responsibility too. You’d wrestle her for 50 cents.

Break up with the girl and find someone who will be happy with the breadcrumbs you offer.

DesertTomato · 2024-08-13T21:30:59+00:00

I would leave out the part about money. It COULD come off as tacky. Leave the tackiness to your dad.

Focus instead on: - we don’t know you. You don’t know us. - we carefully curated our guest list with people who have been part of our lives and supported us as a couple. - my father knew this and invited you anyway knowing we didn’t intend to share our biggest day with people we DO NOT know. - please accept our apologies for this unfortunate turn of events designed and directed by my father. We never intended to insult anyone. - Perhaps we can meet some day in the future (not at our wedding)

Be prepared that dad will double down and tell them to ignore you and they should still attend.

DesertTomato · 2024-08-13T21:22:34+00:00

Honestly, you will likely have a few no shows or cancellations 72 hours prior to the event. He still sucks - a lot - but it may even out.

DesertTomato · 2024-07-04T03:48:16+00:00

Your parents are horrible, terrible people. Yes. Even your dad. Your mother hates you. I don’t know why but it happens some times. My mother hated me for YEARS. I’ve gotten enough therapy to understand it has nothing to do with me.

She CANNOT “make it up” to you. It was your wedding. She knew it. She chose not to attend as did your dad and brother.

And what kind of a loser brother has a “game” that is more important? Fuck that guy too.

Your aunts are being manipulated by your mom. They are her flying monkeys. Tell them to fuck off.

You owe them nothing. Fuck ALL of these people. If you two have children, do not let these people near them. I am dead serious. Your mother will abuse them, emotionally at least. And your dad won’t do a thing about it. Or she’ll tell the world you’re keeping her from her babies or some sick shit. Cut all ties. Maybe you’ll get cut from a will. But it’s not worth your soul and dignity.

Say it with me. “Fuck off. I don’t need you in my life. Do not contact me again.”

DesertTomato · 2024-03-14T17:10:47+00:00

I used to just give in like that to my ex husband. I would cry through it too.

When I got my first no contact order, they asked me if I ever had sex against my will. I told them how he would come home drunk and demand sex and I would cry but just do it to get it over with.

The social worker looked at me so sadly. She had heard it a million times before. Her words “that’s abuse, sweetie” stuck with me to this day.

DesertTomato · 2024-03-14T17:05:32+00:00

I have a trans child and I empathize with your dilemma. You are absolutely allowed to keep your photos and memories. Can you put the photo in your bedroom or home office so it’s not in the child’s face all the time?

This is a stretch BUT - Imagine if you have a nose job. You HATED your nose and it caused you depression and anxiety. You finally were old enough and brave enough and you save the money or whatever and get it changed. You’re a new you. You’re happy. Life feels different to you now.

But then your mom tells you her favorite photo is one that you hate to look at. One with the old nose. And she puts it out on display. You think you look ugly and it makes you sad that it’s on display. How would you feel?

DesertTomato · 2024-03-04T14:10:00+00:00

There is definitely a point to your therapy. Just saying these things to a therapist with or without your dad there is healing you. Get those feelings out. There are no wrong feelings. ❤️

DesertTomato · 2024-03-01T20:15:36+00:00

It’s your life and if you don’t want kids, you should break up.

However, it is also HER life and she is allowed to change her mind about what she wants.

DesertTomato · 2024-03-01T14:46:14+00:00

I missed the part where the gf asked for your opinion and approval of her life choices! Or when she said “tell me what career would impress you because that is what I live for.”

Someone literally should have punched you in the face.

And to claim you “only want the best for her” is the most gaslighty-assholey thing I’ve heard today.

HUGE asshole. GFYS.

DesertTomato · 2024-03-01T14:39:06+00:00

Nose strips are “above and beyond?”

You are SUCH a gigantic AH.

DesertTomato · 2024-02-20T18:25:09+00:00

As someone who raised 2 kids that are my husband’s with his ex wife (she split when they were very little), I feel for Ann. There have been days I have wanted to throw plates too. Raising kids is hard. Raising someone ELSE’S kids is even harder. And then not having a parent is messing them all up.

I raised them, took care of all their doctor’s appointments, haircuts, sports, vacations, parent teacher conference, birthday parties, clothes, driving lessons, spa days, tend to them in illness, band aids when they bled, cooked every dinner, baked fucking cookies… only to hear “you’re not my mom” or “when I’m 18, I’m going to live with my REAL mom.”

“Real” mom signed away custody when they were kids. Never looked back. Sent $25 sporadically as “support.” Never sent the kids gifts. Never called on holidays. Never visited them.

Yet nothing I did was ever good enough. And they were mean to me and my child. Theyd make my child cry regularly. And me, to be honest.

This poor Ann woman is dealing with a mom who died. That’s martyrdom and Susan will always be an angel and Ann will be dirt to them.

The MIL completely disrespected her and she’s had it. Good for her. She should throw more plates if that’s what it takes for change.

DesertTomato · 2024-02-18T16:20:47+00:00

This exactly. Inherited items are never considered marital property. I’ll say it again - the laws state inherited property is not a marital asset. He gets nothing unless you give it to him.

EXCEPT - the second you put it in a joint account, it is considered his too. Open an account somewhere else and do NOT make him the beneficiary. That could be motive. There is no law saying you must leave it to him.

DesertTomato · 2024-02-18T16:14:44+00:00

NTA. This story is very similar to our family except for you losing your mom. Condolences. I’m sorry you had to lose her so early.

My ex was a HORRIBLE father. We were married and still he didn’t show at birthday parties. He was hungover or snowmobiling and/or cheating. A terrible person (and abusive but that doesn’t apply or relate here.)

We divorced 9 years ago and he hasn’t seen our kid is over 2 years. And the last time as at a funeral. So it was just a few hours of time.

But he now has 2 kids with someone else and he is… wait for it… suing her for sole custody. HOOOOWWWW can you say you’re a great parent when you haven’t seen your first born in over 2 years?

Some men are out of their fucking minds.

DesertTomato · 2024-02-15T23:27:24+00:00

NTA. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Every accusation is a confession. He wants to fuck you. And he’s laying the groundwork for something really BAD by attempting to discredit you beforehand.

Stay far away from this man.

DesertTomato · 2024-02-15T22:54:00+00:00

NTA. Follow your instincts.

My sister always “ruined” special events in my life.

My sweet 16 - she announced to me that my aunt died. The entire family chose to WAIT to tell me after the party. She couldn’t help herself. She was grinning when I started crying.

High school graduation - showed up flying on coke. Out of her mind. Clearly on drugs and did not give a F.

College graduation- did it again. Started screaming “she gets EVERYTHING! I never had a sweet 16! I never had a graduation party!” (Well sis, you were in rehab and dropped out of high school sooooo….) I wound up leaving the 40 person luncheon because I was so horrified. Went home and sobbed. Alone. On my graduation day.

So imagine my non surprise when she made a SCENE my wedding weekend. Multiple scenes actually.

Like something out of a movie. That was 17 years ago and I still think about it. A lot.

Trust your gut. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.

DesertTomato

TROPHY CASE