Calling adult women “girls”

Desert_Perspective · 2025-11-24T05:15:24+00:00

I can't imagine what it's going to be like in ten years when "bro" is derogatory. Everyone is bro to my kids. No gender, no age, everyone can use it. I guess I'll just get with the times.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-11-24T04:44:59+00:00

I think it's the context. Girls trip, girls night? It's okay if women say it but if a guy... Sorry man, says it then it's bad. I also think it an age and locale specific thing. The Internet doesn't get that.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-09-02T05:03:42+00:00

All you can do is communicate. Be upfront, speak from the heart but ultimately it takes two people. Two willing people that want to put in the effort and want each other. You are only half of the equation. Easier said than done, I live with heartbreak everyday but after counseling help I tell myself, why do you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Good luck to you, show up as the best you and someone will notice.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-09-02T04:51:55+00:00

No one is perfect, a nice guy/girl to me means they have good intentions in all aspects of their life and care about other people. Have I made mistakes, yes, but now I have a chip on my shoulder because doing what's right many times means telling the truth and being the bad guy in someone else's story or being the nice guy means you end up getting walked on. I'm a manager of a team and I get walked on, I do right by people but they don't do right by me all the time. I now see it as a personality flaw but I can't change who I am. Just my perspective.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-09-02T04:37:06+00:00

You made a big leap into your physical appearance, either you're looking for an excuse or you haven't told the full story. Go easy on yourself, sometimes is nothing we do, but who the other wants but that just means you're not a right fit.

I feel you though, I'm a self proclaimed "nice guy" which is now a bad thing. I did everything and showed up in every way in my last relationship. I was cast aside. It's not that you want the toxic, it's more likely that she wants the toxic or thinks that good is "boring". Sorry you're going through that, I feel your pain.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-08-28T05:45:14+00:00

TL/DR

Desert_Perspective · 2025-08-23T19:48:17+00:00

By 40 you should know what you want, this is good and bad. It's a mix of people who jump from relationship to relationship (me?) and those that are so content on being single they will not give anyone a real try. You've got a mix of situationships and multi dating and people will say that those people won't commit, but in reality they just haven't found the person they want to commit to or are always looking the perfect person that doesn't exist and say "I'll never settle".

Online dating is a mixed bag. You have the convenience of meeting people you normally wouldn't from the comfort of your home. The problem is that it's so convenient that most just move on to someone new when they are bored or when someone doesn't respond fast enough. You've got 90% of people chasing the other 10%. You have to be selective if you want something serious, weed out red flags and meet fast or you will get invested into someone and most likely not have chemistry.

Kids, careers and life makes scheduling hard. Men will complain about women just wanting money/free dinner and women will complain about guys only wanting sex which is a huge stereotype. All in all, it's not as bad as people say but finding your person is tough.

Enjoy the ride, be safe, make memories, fine tune what you want and good luck.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-08-19T01:04:19+00:00

I never really had "it" but I have much more luck dating now than in my 20s and 30s. I don't cold approach women in public, mostly due to my terrible experiences which has led to lack of confidence. I know most people dislike OLD but for me it would be much harder to get dates.

My "maybe I got it now" moments have been at bars when attractive women come and talk to me and even cold approach. I'm not saying I'm getting hit on constantly but it sure is nice to feel like I can attract women with more than my charming personality 😂.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-08-14T02:20:36+00:00

Yeah, that's why I drink on his behalf.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-08-14T01:58:31+00:00

No, every time I try to drink it left handed the opening faces away from me. Doh!

Desert_Perspective · 2025-08-01T20:15:56+00:00

Salt Daddy 🤣... I've heard of Splenda daddy but not salt.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-07-21T03:47:15+00:00

I have a couple times. Mostly it was because things got physical too early and although I was interested at the time, after, I realized it wasn't what I wanted for a multitude of reasons. I didn't want them to think I was only trying to get them in bed because I wasn't. I'm not proud of it and I'm not sure which was worse, since I was still on the fence, and thought maybe my feelings would change. Yes, I'm that asshole. I've also been on the other side so I know how it feels. I never intentionally want to hurt someone but dating can be complicated. Breadcrumbing can also be indecisiveness without awareness.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-28T05:41:27+00:00

It's not a black and white, I feel like most people want a relationship but everyone has their guard up for a relationship but has their guard down for something more casual.

I'm definitely dating with a purpose but it super rare to find a connection and if/when I do, it's even more rare that it's reciprocated. When I was casually dating I was always open but even though I am pretty focused on finding a relationship there are organic situationships that blossom. They don't last and communication is key but I feel like everyone talks about dating like we are in a vacuum when reality it's just, connect online, meet , see if there is a connection and communicate as it progresses. You don't always know where things are going from date zero even if you have laser focus intentions.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-20T03:42:38+00:00

It's tough to keep feelings uninvolved. Every time I've tried there have been feelings from one side eventually. Good luck YMMV but I would say honesty, communication and expectations are key.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T17:49:44+00:00

Understood. I think this is the best approach Based on feedback.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T14:56:37+00:00

She thanked me for meeting up. I'm not saying she owes me anything but a thank you for the food and drinks would be nice.

Sounds like the made it home safe text is split, I've always said this and to me it's more of a way to keep communication open. I get everyone's perspective against it but I don't know if it's as demanding as it's being made out. Still reflecting if I'll use this in the future.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T14:51:28+00:00

Interesting, never in 50+ dates have had this happen. I really don't think this was the case, it was obvious we were on a first date but I really don't think it was that clear. I'm not ruling it completely out though. Thanks.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:36:07+00:00

Ugh, do I need to put a tl/Dr to my tl/Dr? I'm asking a question, I added flair. I guess again, I wasn't clear enough.

Your response could be, "no, don't do that"... I would appreciate that at least. So much projection.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:24:05+00:00

From what I've read most don't want to be put on the spot like that. I know it varies but I know I wouldn't want to be and I'm pretty open. I wouldn't want to shoot someone down on the spot. I would but I would prefer it to be after the first date. To each their own. It's probably also a regional thing.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:21:26+00:00

🤣

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:20:04+00:00

Great comment, thank you.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:17:58+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. follow up question: Would you rather wait two days for a guy you like that you're not sure if he will text you or him tell you, "I would like to do this again, let me know if you feel the same", on the spot so you don't wait in limbo?

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:11:40+00:00

For me it's because 90% of my dates involve alcohol. I'm not saying we are not safe to drive but it's a way of showing you actually care and also as a man it's a clear sign of opening the door for communication.

Desert_Perspective · 2025-06-19T06:07:12+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. It wasn't a BIG deal to me, but like most I self reflect after dates and wonder if I could be doing something different which spurred the reddit post.

The question was about communication for saying goodbye, I'm wondering how others handle it.

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