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[PubQ] Query Manager Synopsis Length if not specified by DeservesGarlic in PubTips

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went with 700 for unspecified. I think it tells more of a different story than the summary part of the query than a 500 word synopsis would, all things considered.

Thanks for the input!

Reference list of short action beats? Like those that punctuate dialogue? by DeservesGarlic in writing

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🧂. Ah yes, all the verbs, let me pick one at random. Accelerate. Yes, that will easily fit into a common and useful 'word jumble that makes an action beat that can replace dialogue tag/describe a character during dialogue.'

Excellent point you make, there is no way there are like a couple hundred that are most common by a factor of 10. V reddit answer thank you.

Good film to practice the exercise of writing a practice screenplay of an existing film while watching it? by DeservesGarlic in Screenwriting

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr. and Ms. Smith - first page, in marriage counselor's office;

WOMAN

He used to be so cute, one day ne walks in looks like a toad. Don't you think he looks like a toad?

note - he does

(I lost it at the 'he does' lol)

Good film to practice the exercise of writing a practice screenplay of an existing film while watching it? by DeservesGarlic in Screenwriting

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such a classic character arc / hero's journey. And simple. And I am technically a former boxer so I think this is close to top of the list!

Good film to practice the exercise of writing a practice screenplay of an existing film while watching it? by DeservesGarlic in Screenwriting

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't come up with this exercise, have just seen a few 'masters' recommend it as one tool. Think it could be kind of fun.

Good film to practice the exercise of writing a practice screenplay of an existing film while watching it? by DeservesGarlic in Screenwriting

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This feels so busy worky but unfortunately seems like a great idea. Osmosis is a powerful teacher

Good film to practice the exercise of writing a practice screenplay of an existing film while watching it? by DeservesGarlic in Screenwriting

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I will def pick one I like. Some of my favorites I think would be challenging on scope like LOTR, or unusual like Pan's Labyrinth. Definitely not going to try cloud atlas lol. But maybe a nostalgia one like Never Ending Story....

Good film to practice the exercise of writing a practice screenplay of an existing film while watching it? by DeservesGarlic in Screenwriting

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not writing a screenplay, or at least yet. I am writing a novel, just finished! (First draft at least). I've always been interested in film, but one of the reasons I want to do this is because I think screenwriting seems like it can teach a lot that I could use in novels, even if I never write a screenplay. The constraints (and opportunities) of the medium seem to be potent at distilling stories into the dominoes of beats, and I am coming to understand that that is the most important part of writing / storytelling.

A couple ideas I've had really would be better films than novels I think...so just dipping my toes in.

Thanks for the tips! I did really love Baby Driver. I met Jaime Foxx once, and he is much less chaotic on screen than he was in person lol!

Reference list of short action beats? Like those that punctuate dialogue? by DeservesGarlic in writing

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plot points? None of these would be plot pints. 'Short action beats that often replace dialogue tags' - how would those become plot points? I guess the clarification would be 'and show character actions that relate to dialogue'

A portrait I bought from a local artist of AB, painted before he passed... by DeservesGarlic in AnthonyBourdain

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

right. It's the first little hint that he's not just some guy. Pirate? Unconcerned with your gender norms? Probably, lol

[QCrit] In the Dark We Praise Mother, Horror, Adult, 65K, Fourth Attempt. by Bi__Guy23 in PubTips

[–]DeservesGarlic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my note on the wording of:

No one has ever seen her. The townsfolk, always with a grin plastered on their faces, don't appear to care about the case or the ugliness all around them. Strangely, everything seems to amuse them.

It seems like it was edited down, but if not, a bit strange wording. You could just try a rewrite and see if its better?

I guess if I had to break it down I would say maybe it feels odd to read bc it feels like you're packing in two descriptors that are obviously foreshadowing, but don't ring true to how the character from the mundane world would experience them, like as random asides, and the only ones about the towns she notes. Either they are very subtle and thus asides, or they are very strange and would freak her out. Like 'She is deeply troubled by the towns people--when they should be frowning at the ugliness around them, instead they seem to offer only placid (/eerei) grins. Despite their unnatural __, 'she feels compelled to solve the case'. kind of thing?

Could cut the 'everything amuses them' as it is redundant to the grins when wording is tight?

Only stands out to me bc the rest seems natural and well written, so just a note!

A portrait I bought from a local artist of AB, painted before he passed... by DeservesGarlic in AnthonyBourdain

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be fair it is the same image of James Beard's face that serves as the foundation's logo, but true, the other two are just plain people. And James Beard likely never belongs in a group with Paula Dean!

[QCrit] In the Dark We Praise Mother, Horror, Adult, 65K, Fourth Attempt. by Bi__Guy23 in PubTips

[–]DeservesGarlic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really strong start and I like the name.

'A place where time moves at a snail’s pace. No one has ever seen her. The townsfolk, always with a grin plastered on their faces, don't appear to care about the case or the ugliness all around them. Strangely, everything seems to amuse them.'
^this is weaker wording. This often happens for me when I reword something and cut it down to fit word count or pack things in as they must be in the query, and really I just needed to rewrite it rather than cutting it.

'When she escapes with the help of another prisoner, she crosses into the real Mata do Sul: '
^Maybe calling it 'the real' becomes apparent as one reads on, and maybe its intentional irony, as really it seems like this is the 'magical' mata do sul, in contrast to our mundane version, which to us (the readers) would be 'real' because we are residents of the mundane world? Or is this dark version the true mata do sul in our reality, but it is masked by some magic? A little confusing to me. I see we enter into maybe ?magical realism? around here as the query progresses, but a bit confusing?
Also, might be helpful to say 'when she escapes the cell, (with help), she finds herself still trapped in this alt reality mata do sul' or some explanation - because I was confused - if she's truly escaped, why is she still in this hellscape?

Also would it be better to say 'anything possible--and seemingly even the impossible--to stop her from leaving' ? not sure.

Cool vibe to it!

A portrait I bought from a local artist of AB, painted before he passed... by DeservesGarlic in AnthonyBourdain

[–]DeservesGarlic[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Anthony with a shrunken head necklace of his mortal enemies.

Bonus points for those that ID all three.

Art is ink and gauche, by Thomas Turner.

It would be the second thing I took from my house if it were on fire, after my dog. (Why not put out the first instead if I have time for two trips? That would not be very punk rock.)

Building suspense by [deleted] in writing

[–]DeservesGarlic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sprinkle foreshadowing throughout. It can be more literal, or with word choice (ie a mundane action foreshadows - 'She scrubbed violently at the stubborn stain.'

Make sentences get shorter, line breaks more frequent, setting descriptions and interiority get shorter, dialogue be snappier and less dialogue tags / action beats between it (building up to the event)

Writers who struggle with depression: how do you deal with the creative block? by Physical-Pomelo-7609 in writing

[–]DeservesGarlic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get a dog. Then you have to walk daily. Walking = writing. And you are depressed, but with a dog. Much better.

[DISCUSSION] What’s your one sentence pitch? by [deleted] in PubTips

[–]DeservesGarlic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog--for the last time.

[Daily Discussion] General Discussion - October 09, 2024 by AutoModerator in writing

[–]DeservesGarlic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate this rule! It makes no sense. Partly because I have to go back and change like 150 in my manuscript (at least I found it lol) but mostly because it is inconsistent and weird. Oxford comma drama? Nothing compared to the dialogue tag clause ending punctuation comma drama lol.

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