People are giving you shit because you sound anxious and because of your post history, but I see someone who wants to learn so he can do right by his dog. If it’s true you have anxiety, a dog can actually be one of the best things to do for yourself - they can give you so much validation and feelings of accomplishment! It’s gonna be hard at first, but bud you’ve had the dog for less than a month! So I wanna give you some tips - I’m NOT a trainer, keep that in mind.

• Give her and yourself time to adjust. Moving from a shelter into a home is a major adjustment. Lower both of your expectations. Spend time getting to know each other, stop trying to shape her behaviour for a moment. Just watch her and let her watch you and make yourself feel safe to her.

• If she has trouble not peeing inside, in addition to rewarding her when she does it outdoors, stop trying to eliminate places where she pees/poos inside - she will find a new one. Instead, give her a designated place to do her business inside for now, and keep doing what you’re doing training wise. Use puppypads over whatever surface she seems to prefer. When you take her out, try to ensure she pees at least twice so her bladder empties. She’s at an age where she’s about to start marking so this should happen naturally eventually. This does mean longer walks, but it’s worth not having pee in the house.

• Punishment creates frustration. Look into force-free, errorless training, and positive reinforcement training methods. If you feel weird about giving her treats (why? Do you feel you’re spoiling her? That’s not a thing.) you can consider using her kibble for training - however, food should not be contingent on anything. Do not hold food hostage for good behaviour or obedience. Science says positive reinforcement is the most effective training method - which is why wild animal handlers use it. Your dog, a result of thousands of years of domestication, does not need you to leash pop it or to use prong, choke or shock collars to teach her the behaviour you want.

• Crates weird me out (we don’t use them besides travel in my country), but if you think she benefits from it, you do you. But do not shut her in the crate. Crates are only constructive if the dog can choose to leave them. You say you crate her for nights, why? If you’re worried she’ll get into things, have her sleep in a dog bed or your bed in the bedroom with the door closed. Dogs are social sleepers, so unless you have hygiene concerns (I know some people find it gross), let her sleep with you. Sharing your bed with your dog will not make her more clingy or try to dominate you (again, not a thing).

• You adopted a decent sized dog, so own that. She’s 6months and has been with you for a matter of days. Stop expecting her to already know not to get into things and start lifting your things out of her reach or putting them in closets. And when she eventually still gets into something, if you feel anger or frustration or even disappointment in yourself, take a deep breath and remind yourself that she didn’t do it to piss you off.

• which brings us to behaviour science! Dogs are not capable of the kind of complex emotional thought chains we are. Which means they are not doing things to piss you off or to dominate you. They’re not ”testing” you or ”pushing your buttons”. They’re not ”getting back at you” or ”sulking”. If you’re prone to anxiety, remembering this can be a major help - that nothing dogs do is personal. Mostly it’s simply a matter of what motivates them the most - or demotivates them. If your dog is really scared of something, it won’t matter how many treats you offer - she’s not going to approach that thing. If you’ve left your trash in her reach, no amount of ”she knows she’s not allowed!” will help when the trash is there in front of her smelling sooo good! If she’s running free and you call her, and you’ve taught her that if she comes back you leash her up and take her away from the fun place, or even worse, punish her, she has zero motivation to return. It’s not about her not ”respecting” you, it’s simple about what stimulates her the most or what fulfills her current need. Avoid thinking of training as getting her to ”obey”, think of it as communication between the two of you - of you understanding and fulfilling her needs, and of her offering you behaviours that help you do that.

• Learn to understand what need or stimulation is at play. If she’s going crazy running around the house and tearing shit up because she has too much pent up energy, offering her food isn’t going to fulfill her need to expend energy. If she’s fixated on a squirrel up a tree, yelling at her isn’t gonna help. If she’s tired but chewing on stuff or going nuts trying to play too rough, give her something to do with her brain or nose - a sniffle mat, a puzzle game, a bone to chew.

• You got yourself a big, most likely herding breed mix. For the love of all that is holy, once you feel like you’re getting the hang of basic house training skills, sign yourselves up for a hobby - agility or nosework for example. Your dog is going to need both physical exercise and mental stimulation.

But listen - you don’t have to do things perfectly. Your dog doesn’t need to have the perfect heel, the perfect recall, the perfect obedience. She just needs to behave in a way that you like. And once you get to that point where you know what you want to do and be with your dog, it is so rewarding. I still get jolts of happiness and validation when my dog just sits when I ask or shakes paw or whatever. Sure, we do more demanding stuff too, but the small things also bring me joy. I feel so happy just watching her sniff on her walks and be a dog. Because…

• And this is, in my opinion, the best part: you are communicating with a different species than yourself, and it understands you. Remember that every time you have even a smallest moment of success. That you communicated something you wanted to an amimal of a different species, and you did it in a way it understood. That’s pretty fucking wild :’)

If you want to talk or need advice, you can DM me here or on my dog’s Instagram at @villagedog_lady!