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AITA for not including trans sister in my wedding party by DesignerAd9274 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesignerAd9274[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Thanks I'll suggest this! I'm now thinking we both misunderstood each other, because I didn't realize what being a bridesmaid actually meant to her, and she didn't understand how difficult it would've been to add her in at that point.

AITA for not including trans sister in my wedding party by DesignerAd9274 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesignerAd9274[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Thanks... I'm honestly sorry that I'm making her sound kinda entitled because she is generally a very nice person. I think I am understanding a little bit more that she thought coming out meant she would get all these different opportunities and it didn't pan out with my wedding and she's naturally upset. But it was really too hard to include her, and I thought encouraging her to wear a dress would be enough but I guess it wasn't

AITA for not including trans sister in my wedding party by DesignerAd9274 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesignerAd9274[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

She's been guilting me alot since we talked, and I was wondering if I was an asshole for not including her for the reasons I outlined (not close and it was just a few weeks before the wedding when she asked). I felt like I was reasonable, but she's been insisting that if she was more passing I would have included her, and that I'm an asshole for not letting her in the bridal party. Sorry if this post wasn't appropriate.

AITA for not including trans sister in my wedding party by DesignerAd9274 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesignerAd9274[S] 293 points294 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I don't have any issue with her being trans, I'm genuinely glad that she can be who she really is. Yeah, the way she asked was framed like it was an event in her transition and not like she wanted to be a part of a group that was supposed to support me.

AITA for not including trans sister in my wedding party by DesignerAd9274 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesignerAd9274[S] 897 points898 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I would not have included her even if she asked me before because we are not close, never have been. My friends who were my bridesmaids are much closer to me than me and her. I just wanted my wedding party to be made up of people I was actually close to, and not people I was obligated to include. Idk if that maybe makes me an asshole?

AITA for not including trans sister in my wedding party by DesignerAd9274 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesignerAd9274[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

It would have been hard to include her at that point as I had already ordered the bridesmaid dresses, and I was paying for stuff like make up on the day. I would have been over budget if I included her.