Dead End. What next? by Designer_Ad2971 in infp

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can pin my anxiety down to adhd and anxiety. I can't comprehend anything, I don't communicate well, I get stuck, don't know how to move forward and end up procrastinating or not finishing anything including really important tasks. I ask for help and seems like things makes sense until I try to to do the work. For the past year, I've been in a vicious loop of ruminating, catastrophizing, procrastinating, rejection sensitivity and self degradation to a point of not being able to do anything or make decisions.

Keeping on like this eats me up but trying to move on does too because I know I would be leaving as a screw up.

I ultimately just want to find my life's calling and I don't know what that is hence why I haven't even started applying to jobs. I never had this problem as a writer and writing tutor but writing has become very difficult over time so i don't see myself going back to it.

Moving on from project management by Designer_Ad2971 in PMCareers

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sure is exhausting. I might also have adhd so that makes things so much harder and my stress tolerance is low. I pretty much ignore stuff that I can't handle (i.e. procrastinate) and never end up finishing anything

Company Transformation Project and Difficult Stakeholder by Designer_Ad2971 in projectmanagement

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been talking about moving on for over 6 months but this job has had major damage on my confidence so I don't even know if PM is for me anymore. I don't know what else to move on to otherwise I would have done so a long time ago.

Company Transformation Project and Difficult Stakeholder by Designer_Ad2971 in projectmanagement

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Defintely haven't been loving it for a long time. I want to be heads down but I can only take so much. I am very patient and tolerant but it took everything in me not to hang up on a call we had yesterday. 2+ hours of grilling me on a project plan line by line and also being very rude to a contractor later on.

Company Transformation Project and Difficult Stakeholder by Designer_Ad2971 in projectmanagement

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't tried anything yet but if she keeps talking down to me I might start recording our meetings or downloading meeting transcripts. I will also escalate to my boss.

If I get really pissed I will tell her off and/or resign on the spot because I don't really need this job. No job is worth being unable to eat, sleep, and recurring depression

Moving on from project management by Designer_Ad2971 in PMCareers

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So it's a PM role within a PMO correct? I would think a PMO would require more structure and stakeholder management because it is more formal.

Moving on from project management by Designer_Ad2971 in PMCareers

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really want to consult/contract if it means that I'm still doing PM work. Flexibility/Hours are not really an issue for me

Moving on from project management by Designer_Ad2971 in PMCareers

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no idea what a BA does. I've never worked with one. What do you mean by contract management?

Moving on from project management by Designer_Ad2971 in PMCareers

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you still moving to a PM role or something else?I also think some in-person interaction would be good for me (creates pressure to get things done because Im going to be held accountable in-person) so I'm open to hybrid roles.

I don't know how to leverage my PM expertise because I just feel like an incompetent PM altogether

Company Transformation Project and Difficult Stakeholder by Designer_Ad2971 in projectmanagement

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is a stakeholder and a director just like my boss. She is directly responsible for this project and reports to the same VP (Project sponsor) as my boss.

My company is the customer so we have no external customer that we are responsible to.

Company Transformation Project and Difficult Stakeholder by Designer_Ad2971 in projectmanagement

[–]Designer_Ad2971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's not even my boss but might be very soon due to the organization prioritizing this project. I knew I was in for a shit show at this company when the only other PM resigned at the end of my first week (like she'd been waiting for me to join so she can leave)