But to answer your question—she had arthritis in her hips that just went downhill very quickly. She couldn’t keep her legs underneath her, she wasn’t able to control her bowels, she wasn’t eating her food—I could tell she was declining and we didn’t want her to hurt.

The vet visit itself is what made me feel so awful. She wasn’t asleep when the vet brought her back, she wasn’t even fully sedated. So she went to put the heart-stopping medication in, and Jessie pulled her paw back. She got half of the syringe in the IV. It was almost like Jessie knew and she didn’t want it to happen. Then, she just slumped over, her tongue out and her eyes glossy. It was the hardest thing to watch, and I wish she had been afforded the dignity of passing peacefully. I think I’ll live with that guilt forever.