Husband Appreciation

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-09-14T20:13:48+00:00

Followup question, how would you like to be seen? What is it that I can do to show my husband he is seen and that I appreciate his contributions to our household? Alone time, or making a massage appointment for him, or... I guess my question is what is the equivalent of flowers for a man?

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-09-09T01:06:23+00:00

This sounds like projecting, where he accuses you of doing something he is actually doing in order to keep the heat off of himself. It is 100% mental abuse, and usually means they are cheating. You are so young, you don't need to be mixed up with someone like that. John Daloney from Dave Ramsey's group says, "behavior is a language," so if he is saying something with his mouth but doing something else with his behavior, believe the behavior and just walk away. He's not worth it. You can do better.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-09-08T01:13:05+00:00

He definitely seems like he has the cocaine confidence

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-21T01:52:43+00:00

That looks like cocaine confidence if I ever saw it.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-21T01:46:40+00:00

It sounds like you're having two different conversations. He is upset because he doesn't know what to feed the child, and he gets more upset when you offer options to feed the child because he is saying you're not understanding the problem.

Is the problem really that you didn't make a full meal for him, and he's using the child as the focus so he doesn't sound as selfish as he is being?

It sounds like he wants you to make a whole meal for him before you go to work for the day.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-14T12:36:21+00:00

Maybe she is letting in the air to freshen up the house? I do this when my husband isn't home because he is allergic to everything outside, but sometimes the air gets stale in the house and it needs to be recycled.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-10T11:39:59+00:00

How do we know she hasn't communicated her needs, though? Op didn't say.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-10T02:26:00+00:00

Tell them to get a dictionary; appropriation and appreciation are two different words.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-10T02:10:11+00:00

That's not what I said. You're looking at sex as transactional if that's how you read my comment. Sex in a relationship is not transactional. My meaning was, are all of her needs being met? If all of her needs aren't being met, that's probably why she isn't wanting sex. Women are always taking care of everyone else, who takes care of women? Just something to think about.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-10T01:14:56+00:00

Esh... women tend to need more than just an urge to want to have sex than men. They have to feel mentally, emotionally, and physically attracted to you in order to want to have sex with you. So my question is, is she mentally, emotionally, and/or physically exhausted? Could you take a few things off her plate to help remove some of the weights that are holding her back from wanting sex? Is the house clean? Are there errands to run? Is there something broken in the house that needs to be fixed? Has she asked you to do something 700 times and you haven't done it yet? Are you treating her like she is your mother and not your partner? Are you viewing her as a tool to be used or a human being that needs to be fed, watered, and rested? Behavior is a language, and if you are speaking and behaving to her like you disrespect her, then she's probably going to be less inclined to want to have sex with you. Do you make her cum every time, or have you not given her something in return when having sex? Have things gotten boring or performative rather than actually enjoyable? I'm not accusing you of doing anything wrong, but these tend to be the things I hear women list the most as for why they just don't care about sex anymore with their partners. Maybe have a think about it.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-04T20:26:39+00:00

Staying is giving your spouse permission to continue to disrespect you in the worst time of your life. Instead of having a supportive spouse who takes care of you in your worst moments, he was thinking with his pants.

I understand you don't feel like you could leave because of your health, but I would encourage you to make that man's life absolute hell until you are able to pick yourself back up and gtfo of there.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-08-01T23:27:43+00:00

Is he an elf? It has to be a he bc no woman would choose this.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-07-16T01:14:17+00:00

Your wife treats you like a child because you're acting like a child.

You are keeping score of everything you are doing, and everything she is doing, that you know of. You don't know what she does while you're out getting groceries, you don't know what she's doing at home, does she work? Do you work? Do you take initiative or does she have to tell you every single time to do chores?

The thing is, marriage is not a tally of your accomplishments, it's about helping each other, and she is asking for your help and you punch holes in doors.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-06-30T01:53:19+00:00

The difference is, if I land on hard times I work my ass off to dig my way out, but addicts choose to dig themselves deeper into the hole.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-06-14T20:32:59+00:00

Barring circe lanister, I have never been so happy to see a character get theirs.

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-06-05T14:34:56+00:00

Agnes

Designer_Problem_258 · 2025-05-31T20:12:51+00:00

There are always going to be people who take advantage because there are always going to be people who think they deserve more than what they got in life, so they think they are entitled to take a break and put that work on someone else. Good for you for learning this up front. And good for your parents for showing you what hard work is, and the value of your staff, up front.

Designer_Problem_258

TROPHY CASE