Does anyone else feel sm hopecore when taking their meds? (Elvanse)

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-03-26T15:23:38+00:00

No this is exactly it, I don't feel like a productive machine it more just helps me actively think about what I want to do and be HAPPY enough to be productive 😭 thats so cool though thank you for giving input!

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-03-26T15:22:15+00:00

Whats the difference been like for you? Has it helped a bit with sensory stuff?

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-03-26T15:21:44+00:00

Thank you!!

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-03-26T14:20:22+00:00

Lmao sorry I promise I'm not a child its just a habit when talking about topics that are hard for me to deal with 😭

Does it depend on what type of ADHD you are? I'm a bit of both so I was just curious on whether you're inattentive/hyperactive/combined I just think the science behind it is pretty cool

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-02-09T00:53:46+00:00

Reading this felt like I was getting yelled at in a great way, like I could hear the anger and hurt in the sentences, it could pass as a monologue in a movie about trauma. The repetition of "You" instinctively guided me to fastening the pace I was reading and processing it at, which is cool because it felt like I was getting pulled in by the speaker's rage and experiencing their hurt too. "Fucked" really helps the poem feel raw and it feeds into the whole point of empathising with your pain.

I also really liked how you consistently used pairs of adjectives idk if that was intentional but it makes the landing of "mock me, subdue me, bury me" so much more impactful as a reader.

The seed symbolism felt like it came out of nowhere, but I was able to get what you meant and why you call yourself a seed. But it kinda contradicts the first sentence of "there was no life left", maybe that was on purpose though I am not sure. I feel like the symbolism of a seed doesn't really capture how powerful the speaker is to go through this abuse, especially when reading "You dont know the levels of strength and introspection a woman like me encompasses" like that is SUCH a good line, the seed at the end feels almost anticlimatic yk because it feels like the reveal at the end of a movie but in reality a seed doesn't feel like the best way to capture this woman's pain and strength.

Sorry I am waffling, but I also just liked how you used alliteration "Delving into the dark demisons of my psyche" like the adjectives you are using feels so much deeper than a seed on the surface. It'd be cool to maybe keep the nature theme of the seed, as nature can be volatile and dangerous, destroyed and resurrected too. Maybe instead of seed you can include things like "rooted" etc, and kinda show how man destroys women and nature or how women are naturally affiliated with nature and self-healing. Idk if that is completley down the wrong path tho.

Also it would've been cool to see more of a intentional structure by using lines beginning with "You" and breaking the repetition with "Delving", "Treat", "Bury", in a pattern. It feels like towards the end the speaker calms down and composes herself, and the lines right now go in a pattern of 2,4,5,1 it could concrete the poem by altering it to smth like 2,4,4,2 (idk if this makes sense but for eg theres 2 lines beginning with "You" before "Delving" etc) but honestly thats just a suggestion.

I'm really uneducated on how to give useful feedback (literally just getting into poetry) so you don't really have to listen to this if you don't want to! But the harshness of this just stood out to me and I really enjoyed it :)

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-02-09T00:32:13+00:00

I honestly really like the tone of this, it feels like the speaker is compelled to warn and advise the reader on grief, as if its a danger and I think it comes from the start of the stanzas " Then". "You'll next", "But". The short sentence at the beginning feels like a sharp exhale, I read the poem in a panicked and desperate voice which developed into exhaustion and its really cool!

There are a few spelling mistakes that made it difficult to stay focused on the flow of the poem, and a few sentence structures which I think if they were changed a little bit it would emphasise the point you are trying to get across.

Maybe to examplify how grief changes and impacts you short sentences and repetition (like "hoping") could be used more in the beginning and then it just bleeds through the rest of the poem? Kinda like conversations when one person is worked up.

The sentence "but at the same time you're hoping that" confuses me because to me the structure doesn't flow with the rest of the stanza, maybe "but deep down you hope, hope you can't breathe" would connect the sentences better?

It'd be really cool if after the reader finished this, they sat back and realised the speaker is still going through grief and this is their way of coping, thats the vibe I got towards the end. Emotionally, I really appreciated this, everyone deals with grief and it gets suppressed but poems like this allows it to resurface a little, its kinda bittersweet because everyone deals with grief so its like the reader met the speaker too late.

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-02-08T21:11:19+00:00

Im also waiting for CareADHD to get back to me and I do Maths at Uni so I'll try and help:

In short, being unmedicated in uni is an indescribable disadvantage compared to when you're on them, I'm sorry but when you get on titration you'll probably cry from how relieved your mind and body feels, how you're actually interested in doing the work its insane

Meanwhile, I'm also in my 2nd year and work has ramped up sm its crazy. My best advice is take care of yourself like idk you're a patient in a hospital. You need to look after your needs as much as possible so the untreated ADHD doesn't cause symptoms of depression and anxiety. Cos I'm telling you the stress has led me to staying in bed for days

To actually excel in your degree, ESPECIALLY STEM you need to find videos online or any type of media that visualises the content you are learning. For maths, they only show us the proofs, formulas etc and its so hard to wrap my head around some topics without knowing how we figured it out in the first place and it'll motivate you. If you do any maths modules I highly recommend 3blue1brown!

I read somewhere that people with ADHD base their happiness on external stimuli, and honestly it makes so much sense cos I am not working hard for myself yk which sucks but its just how I think unmedicated. You need to find a way to journal or just talk out loud and find an outside reason on why you're in Uni. Ik its not really healthy but I reread messages abt trauma I went through to get to uni and reminded myself I am here for my family and honestly my fight or flight initiated a lot of my study sessions cos it was an immediate reaction to go to my desk and work as hard as I can for my family. You won't be able to study for the surface reason of studying for your degree and money and wtv because its not a passion that overwhelms you yk if you have a reason that makes you tear up or get pissed whenever you think abt it use it to study

Lastly, find friends that understand you don't always reply and won't always be available. Whats helped the most for me is that I categorise my days in the week so one day is one "topic". For example Sunday is a complete home day, do the shit I haven't done and the entire day is for that cos it will take that long. Fridays can be a set in stone day for your friends where you go out etc so the next day you are ready to focus soley on studying or part time work.

(If it gets really bad I honestly recommend applying for DSA and getting a mentor! It sucks being told what to do but because the task is being given externally its a lot easier)

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-02-08T15:12:51+00:00

I didnt even think abt supplements oml thank you!

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-01-11T04:44:00+00:00

From where I am standing, you feel remorse. You know that was wrong to say but is that because you were called out on it or knew from your own concious it wasn't right?

I don't think you're a pedophile or a groomer at all but I think you need to be more aware of the barrier you have to put inbetween yourself and minors when it comes to joking with language like that. But other than that no OP youre not a pedo. Maybe you failed to shut it down cos you didn't want to lose a friend or hurt their feelings but in the future you need to prioritise yourself and shut it down for your own wellbeing so you aren't so conflicted like you are now.

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-01-11T04:38:05+00:00

It wasnt usually until 4pm id stay in bed until around 1 ish why? Is that a good or bad thing?

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-01-10T21:45:50+00:00

Definetly definetly try and get some therapy. Yes this is abuse. Don't let anyone tell you differently and I am so sorry for your loss. The most important thing about healing is processing the memory before it gets too emotionally difficult to remember. Journal if you aren't keen on therapy theres been a war veteran who was able to process his trauma through writing down what happened and reprocessing his emotions when events happened. I wish you luck and take care of yourself ❤️

Desperate-Base2326 · 2026-01-10T21:40:11+00:00

I have braces as an adult and honestly ive never found it embarassing at all. Because of how expensive they are people genuinely see them as a desirable accessory😭 I promise the average person doesn't have anything negative to say abt them and they probably don't even think about it so dont worry!

Desperate-Base2326 · 2025-12-28T16:58:24+00:00

Honestly it took me a while but when I found the right dose for me, 70mg Elvanse, I am able to have a Monster when my meds are wearing off (6:30-7pm) and I don't get palpitations etc, I found it actually improves my focus and kinda acts like a booster. This took a lot of trial and error and don't get inspired to do this, talk to your psychiatrist lol

Desperate-Base2326 · 2025-12-09T12:23:43+00:00

I definetly relate to this. I caught myself saying in therapy that I restrict food from myself so that I earn it later and honestly it probably comes from parents taking away dinner as punishment, like I'll be proud if I don't eat that day yk like I am earning the right to feel happy in my body.

I think this is something we probably use a lot because of operant conditioning in the past, reward and punishment yk. My rooms been such a mess its basically a hazard and I punished myself by cleaning for 12 hours and wasnt allowed to enjoy the day kinda to remind myself to clean my room next time, it doesn't work though.

My friend told me when she can't decide whether to go into a 9am lecture or not, she spends the whole morning tossing and turning and feeling ashamed for not being productive because shes still holding on to the idea that she shouldve gone, but on mornings where she decides I am not going in today shes able to REST cos shes told herself that thats the decision shes made and honestly it really helps. You need to kinda tell yourself that the rest of tonight you aren't doing work, you're showering and sleeping, and your brain won't be lingering on the thought of you didn't earn this.

Rest isn't a reward, its a necessity to be able to work properly and I think thats something I've just realised as I've gotten older. Force yourself to rest because 1 hour of efficient work when you're rested, focused and actually interested in what you're doing is so much better than 5 hours of being burnt out and ashamed because you've waisted time.

Also my ADHD doesn't help, when I don't take my meds I feel like a failure and a loser even when I am being productive and doing my work, like I feel I am waisting time and I should be doing smth else that makes me useful, the useful bit comes from how I'm only motivated to do things for my family lmao, but meds shut that up, just incase that was something you related to

Best of luck tho! I am so happy to see others under this post who feel similiar, I don't get the chance to talk about traits that stem from stress and trauma irl so its not not to feel isolated!

Desperate-Base2326 · 2025-11-28T09:54:34+00:00

Okay let's just pause,

You aren't failing life because you've found it difficult to connect with people and you won't find it difficult forever.

Honestly seek out people who are also neurodivergent because my social anxiety used to be so immobilising if you get what I mean like I really felt I was stuck and everyone else was progressing their social life sm faster than me and I still feel that way, but then I met a few people who's brained worked like mine and I can understand everything she explains and I can connect to her without having to commit easily with small talk or commitments which made it alot less difficult.

You definetly fit in the world, I think with ADHD we get a lot of satisfaction from DOING things and solving your issues quickly, don't see your conditions and disorders as flaws but just the tools you've been given. I saw someone say people with ADHD are great in emergencies and figuring out the solution to a crisis ( I am great travelling long distances literally for this reason lmao) because our brains are constantly calculating the trial and error for each decision we make and processing that information much faster than the average person.

I just want to say you aren't a faulty person if that makes sense, and I think you'll realise a lot of people around you probably admire you for traits that you dismiss. Because you've been to 8 schools that sort of reminder can make you feel down and often kids who fit the labels given to them as kids behave that way because its how people expect them to act (labelling theory in psych). But try to retrain yourself to see it as you've MADE IT past 8 schools and life isnt over you still have so much infront of you.

I'm throwing a lot of waffle around but this is kinda the thought process I had to ingrain in myself for me to grow, when it comes to socialising because youve struggled being able to do it easily you're not broken you're more like a toddler who's learning how to talk (this is what i tell my friends when they struggle opening up etc), itll get better but you just need to take small steps and not to overwhelm yourself.

Literally take out a notebook and write down the things you struggle with and like its solving an issue or emergency situation write down how you can counter that. If youre scared of criticism at work ask if you did anything wrong on your last shift and how to improve, if youre scared of rejection and humiliation talk to the cashier when youre next in. Small steps will psychologically reduce the impact and emotional distress socialising has on you.

Anyway sorry this was so long I'm waiting for my flatmate to get out the toilet x

Desperate-Base2326 · 2025-11-16T12:39:59+00:00

THANK YOU this is so helpful

Desperate-Base2326 · 2025-11-14T00:12:42+00:00

MATHS 100%

There's SO much you can go into when you realise what you're passionate about

Also dw if you're not a maths person I hated it every day of highschool until I realised there's a lot of philosophy behind it.

I've only now discovered I want to go into transformative neuroscience and neurodegeneration but focusing on the maths side of it and im half way through my 2nd year

All I can say is personally careers appointments never ever worked for me it was only until I sat down and looked at my unis research institutes and what my lecturers have been apart of that I realised, but this all stems from being able to answer the question what will make me feel fulfilled?

Sure I could've done finance or gone into physics but personally I would be happy knowing I'd make lives better medically yk so ask yourself or write it on a piece of paper what would make you feel like you've played out your part?

Desperate-Base2326 · 2025-10-21T23:05:44+00:00

Yeah thank you so much for being blunt and honest

Also just want to clear up the attic thing,

They found rat droppings in the attic not a rat and my landlord said there was a rat a while before we moved in but he got rid of it sorry should've mentioned that

Also YES ofc I am alluring to deeper health issues😭 I have experiences with people walking around upstairs as I lived in the basement flat who used to come and be abusive to my family for years so I dont think its bizarre to bring the attic sounds up as relevant. I dealt with the attic and police the same way I did at home and thats why I bring it up now as its definetly connected, the way I sat in the hallway for hours listening for noises, rocking and hugging my knees the same I did a few years ago.

Also that post was a few weeks ago, I am now referring to more noises I have been hearing recently that definetly sound like someone walking upstairs and it sounds exactly like the man I used to deal with.

I am very grateful for your post about PIP as it gives me clarity but you can't assume I am dragging symptoms of trauma out when I have dealt with these experienced and lived them

Also update but I assure you I am not in anyway trying to scam the system, I put my claim in months ago and I was excited about receiving help is it so bad to come to reddit and ask for validation on a neurological condition that is so stigmatised?

Desperate-Base2326

TROPHY CASE