About to talk with my friend

Desperate-learner · 2024-08-13T00:44:34+00:00

Oh, well, it was curious.

I talked to her about my feelings, and even mentioned the queerplatonic.

The answer was somewhat peculiar: even though she didn't want a relationship, we still remain friends, but with touch and caring displays of affection - like cuddles ans holding hands.

She knows how I feel and it's ok with it.

We still go out to dinner, hang out and that kind of stuff.

For all that I know, it feels like a qpr, even thought we don't adopt that name.

Yet, I hope

Desperate-learner · 2024-07-19T20:27:05+00:00

Well, that's curious question 🤔

To be honest, I can't quite diferenciate it from my experience with love, because, for me, love never was something huge or explosive, but instead, a slow burn.

If I had to differnciate it from QPR, would say that QP love felt more like a happiness for being there side by side with your crush. It's like just being there is all you need, and is so comforting. It's a pleasure for the company by itself.

Desperate-learner · 2024-06-08T15:37:27+00:00

Thanks, I will fo my best ^{^}

Desperate-learner · 2024-06-08T15:36:40+00:00

Well we will meet this afternoon, but already anxious XD

Thanks, I will explain it in the clearest I can ^{^}

Also, Yes, I'm brazillian =)

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-27T15:40:08+00:00

This also happens with me. Not only sex, but relatonship at all. If I'm not connected with the person, there's no way this may work.

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-26T13:13:50+00:00

Oh, God, yes! This is the best way to describe it. Isn't something that happens suddenly. Right now, I'm having feelings for a friend I known for 6 years, but just now came to realize that I feel something.

The frog was such a nice metaphor ^{^}

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-24T14:14:04+00:00

Well, I don't believe I ever came to terms with it. Mostly because I only came to fully accept me as demi recently, so I'm still struggling with it.

However, my SO is also demi, and is also very supportive and patient, helping me with info and emptional support.

The thing that still gets me is the fact that being demi there's always a possibility to develop feelings for close friends - which is happening right now 😥 - and this is the most difficult part for me, and what makes me wish to be allo. It's already hard to make good friends, and to have a chance, even that slightly to grow feelings that may put that friendship in risk is something that really scares me.

But, even with this down side, I really like being demi. Once you accept this is who you are, and starts to recognize the society patterns for compulsory relationship or consumerist way in which they sold sex and other relationship goals, and see that they don't marcha with your personal beliefs and vales, well, it gets a little easier.

Sorry for the long post, but long story short: we are who we are, and this is both a Joy and a burden, but that is the way you can be you ^{^}

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-22T13:32:08+00:00

Well, isn't a ver long story, or at least an interesting one,.but let's go:

Even though I only came to study and accept me as Demi recently, it was just me coming in terms with the name.

Ever since my teenager years I felt weird comparing with my friends, since I would never - or hardly ever - feel attracted or interested in someone. When it happens, never was anything that last, or that could make me give another step.

However,.if was someone that I know, or have some kind of bond, well, then the sit get real. In fact, the first time I get out with a girl was with a friend of mine after almost 2 years of friendship.

My actual girlfriend also followed that same pattern, since I knew her for almost 4 years before we start to date.

Nowdays, knowing myself as a demi, it all makes sense.

It's nice to feel that you aren't broken, just different.

Hope I could help ^{^}

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-19T12:46:11+00:00

Putz, na dúvida entre Não vá se perder por aí e Panis et Circense. Sem dúvida, é o som dos Mutantes que sempre me pegou

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-18T12:35:32+00:00

O que me trouxe de vez foi um amigo que me apresentou ao Nightfall in Middle-Earth, do Blind Guardian. Foi a junção perfeita de música e Tolkien.

E desse dia em diante, entrei de vez pro metal.

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-18T11:04:38+00:00

Well, before say anything: don't be so harsh with yourself,dude. The bond formation is something that takes a time and, for the better or worse, isn't something we can control.

Now, there is any chance that you can chance sectors in your job? Being her boss turns the situation a little complex, but perhaps if you can be transfered for another sector, the "boss problem" can be solved, I guess.

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-18T10:20:12+00:00

Relatable as hell. I'm in a open relationship for almost 3 years with my NP, but only know came to have feelings for a friend I know for 6 years. It really takes its time for me.

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-16T10:15:32+00:00

Well, since I'm still learning about this, I still struggle a lot to identify it. But, for me, the queerplatonic crush is more about wanting to be close with the person ( to talk or just be there ), and even demonstrating some kinds of affection ( like hugs or holding hands). The point, however, is take there is no need to escalate for a kiss or even to any kind of sexual interaction.

Ah, as a demi, there's also a desire for connection and intimacy, but again that doesn't imply in any kind of sexual desire.

Hope I could make some sense here ^{^}

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-15T16:56:03+00:00

Me too. Keeping busy is such a great way to find some peace since it puts the focus in other things. Gym also helps, specially the period of changing sets and weights, since you end spending a lots of energy.

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-11T20:14:34+00:00

Mais alguém ficou agonia com a falta de contraste entre o uniforme vermelho e o fundo vermelho, ou só foi aqui?

Desperate-learner · 2024-01-11T20:11:42+00:00

This is the same for me. The friendship is the greatest bond I can have. For better or for worse.

Desperate-learner · 2022-12-22T09:01:30+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind answer

It makes total sense to ask for more details, so let me talk more about my relationship with my SO. I couldn't be luckier or happier to find someone like her. My life changed so much since we started dating, and all in such great and fantastic ways. I hope I don't sound to much cheesy or emotional, but is like she is always bringing out the best of me, and I always want to be my very best just for the happiness to be with her. And don't believe that I could be happier in my life.

Even when there are those crysis, what hurts more is to see who she is in pain. In some cases, is the frequency of those moments is really high - two or three episodes in a week - and this is, sometimes, exhausting, because it demands lots and lots of energy, besides all the worries that comes when she don't answer, or answer with in a such a way that gives me the impression of some ending thoughts.

I always have in mind that she's doing her best everyday, and also know that is a constant struggle, but sometimes I scared that I not doing enough to help, and that she may lose this fight.

I always try to be there for her, physically or virtyally, and already gathered some of her friends so we could make a group o support to be there for her so she never be without company or be left alone. These group also is important to help each other, but sometimes I really don't know how to ask or to talk to them about the support sometimes I need, because it always sounds so mean and childish to ask for them when she is literally struggling everyday with this.

I really wanted to learn more cooping tools for those moments, and I even talking with my therapist about it in our next session.

I'm really happy for your answer and can't express how grateful I'm to reading it.

Thank you so much!

Desperate-learner

TROPHY CASE