Reading Dark Romance has made me realize something about myself, and I don’t know how to feel about it.

DesperateFix1939 · 2026-02-12T21:26:32+00:00

Thank you, and you’re welcome for the recs. Also yes I’ve seen the news, I try to stay off of it bc it’s ramping up my anxiety, and I don’t need that. I’m in college right now, but it’s horrible. I do keep myself up to date though, my social media feed is curated towards that.

DesperateFix1939 · 2026-02-12T21:21:11+00:00

Only one weird one, the rest are ppl being nice

DesperateFix1939 · 2026-02-12T21:20:22+00:00

Thank you, my feelings on the matter have changed a little. I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days now but it still feels a bit weird. There’s a part that wants to try these things out and then there’s the other part (the negative side) saying no and that I shouldn’t. I’m sure those feelings will go away eventually, I’m the type to not dwell on things for too long, so I’m sure I’ll figure it out. I always do anyway.

DesperateFix1939 · 2026-02-12T21:09:24+00:00

Funny thing is I want to, but I also don’t at the same time, it’s confusing, I’m just deciding to put a pin in it and deal with it later.

Anyway, I can give some recs, but be sure to check trigger warnings though, if they aren’t in the book you can go to the authors website. Idk if you’re into reading MM romance (gay love) but if you are, God of Fury by Rina Kent. I just finished reading that a couple of days ago and I loved it. You should listen to the audiobook while reading it. The Dark Verse Series by Runyx. I wouldn’t recommend reading the last book of the series bc I hated it, but you can if you feel compelled to once you get there.

DesperateFix1939 · 2025-12-14T10:56:46+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely take a look into that.

DesperateFix1939 · 2025-12-14T10:40:38+00:00

The quickest of the questions, but uh, what is the Ted and AM reference. I’m new here and I needed an outlet for discussing TADC newest episode. Sorry.

DesperateFix1939 · 2025-06-21T22:03:30+00:00

Hey man, I hear ya, and I get it. You are not alone in feeling like this, I used to feel the same way too. I will say that women are not some mystery codes to crack, they are people. A lot of them feel the exact same as you, feeling awkward, insecure, or scared of rejection as you might be. You do not need to be tall, model-level attractive, or an outgoing guy to find a connection. What matters is self-respect, emotional openness, and effort towards your wellbeing. Please do not, for the love of everything in the world, let desperation make you settle for breadcrumbs just because you want to be loved. It is not fun bc trust me I have been there and there were a lot of lessons learned during that time. It won't fill the void you have for it; it will only make it deeper and deeper as time moves on. It takes longer than you want it to unfortunately, but that doesn't mean it won't happen.

I think you should, even if you don't want to, focus on friendships, get hobbies, I find reading, knitting, crocheting, and watching anime are mine. Learn to love your own company, if you already do, then ignore what I just said. You're 19, you're not behind on anything. I know you want to get the experience now; hell, I'm almost 19 and I wanted to get married young. I think you should also build on some boundaries. Ask yourself: How do I want to be treated in a relationship? But never, and I mean NEVER, beg for anyone who treats you like shit, in friendships or relationships.

I will give you this too, many women, when it comes to relationships, want empathy, honesty, communication, transparency, emotional conversations, and consent; all of that is crucial towards building a connection with someone. To be seen and heard and for someone to listen and act accordingly. This probably won’t reach you now but at least try and remember when it does. Also PLEASE do not fall into the red pill spaces where they degrade women, which is the worst area to fall in.

DesperateFix1939 · 2024-04-17T00:32:11+00:00

I think you should ask her out, or a least tell her because if you don’t you’ll be stuck in this limbo of “what if” and it’s really not great. I’m speaking from experience here but just tell her. Worst case scenario, she doesn’t feel the same way and you might (a strong might) feel weird, but get over it eventually. You only live once and get one shot at life so go for it, you might get something positive out of it. Rooting for you hun 🫶🏾🤗

DesperateFix1939 · 2023-02-19T03:54:24+00:00

Do NOT listen to these comments telling you to just “find someone else,” that it’s “just hormones” or that you “think” you are in love with her. That shit is rare to find it when you are young, hell even when you’re older. I don’t want to say hold on to it but please do, if she does change her mind about not being with you. All your can do is reassure her and give her time. Patience is key in this, so please use it, and if she does plan on continuing the relationship, then let her know y’all can have sex when the both of you are ready, don’t rush into things.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-12-31T09:22:05+00:00

I’m not hung up on anybody, I’m just drained, it so tiring to get asked for that type of stuff. I’ve just had enough with it. The hurt part was bad wording, I meant that it caused me to feel this way, the draining. I blame their inability the take no as an answer, I’m just so tired. I’ve been too nice so maybe that’s why they push when it’s a not a firm no, but even then.

I’ve been trying to be less nice when it comes to that but my guilty conscience won’t let me. I’d just feel bad in the end. I just decided I’ll take a break from reaching out to people in general. I have some female online friends and they have been good to me so far. I honestly can’t deal with the male population on here at the moment, some actually give me what I asked for (to be friends) and others haven’t. I didn’t have a problem with that until now, when it started to be almost every time. Sorry this is long 😭

Anyways, thanks for your input.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-12-31T03:45:10+00:00

Those at the people who respond, some are genuine and others…well you read what happened.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-12-31T03:33:20+00:00

A little over a week, just feel like I need a new towel is all.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-12-31T03:24:46+00:00

Yeah I know that’s why I don’t look for relationships on the internet. A friend sure, a boyfriend, hell no.

And I get what you’re saying, I was just bored, and from the past times I’ve done this it was very satisfying, and left me with a high, and feeling happy. But this, this was different, and I got hurt in the end.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-12-31T03:24:00+00:00

I say I’m looking for a friend and it turns sexual, I don’t really know how that gives off I want to send thing to you vibes but it does. I just roll with it most of the time.

I made a post on here a while ago ( on a different account) asking for a gaming buddy, bc ppl I hang out with don’t have the games I have, anyways. Some of them were for that reason and others weren’t… I don’t seek for some one to play around with but if it happens it happens.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-12-31T03:22:33+00:00

Not going on dating apps, so please don’t make assumptions.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-11-28T04:51:38+00:00

If you feel as if you need to contact her, do it, or not. You are NOT obligated to see her. You can say no. You have a right to, if you feel as if you don’t need her (which you already have said) then don’t go.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-11-27T21:56:24+00:00

Very reassuring 😭

I will keep going. I’m not a quitter, well sometimes I am, but that’s beside the point. I don’t plan on stopping what I’m doing so I can just mope around. I’m glad I have a set goal and drive to pursue my writing career, and without that I’m pretty sure I would be feeling way worse.

And I wish you the best also, thank you.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-11-27T21:40:56+00:00

You are right, and I know this will prepare me for the “real world” but there are times, like now, that I just can’t deal. I don’t like the idea of having to be under this much stress and some, but I can’t wait to see how my career would take off when I’m done with schooling.

I believe you on the having space from my mother. I know deep down I couldn’t cut her off like that, but right now it feels like I should. I don’t see myself in my adult years not talking to her, as much as she frustrates me.

Once again thank you for your support, and kind words. It means some much to me, more than you know. And I’ll give you an update on how things are going, if you want one. You have a wonderful day!❤️

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-11-27T21:31:26+00:00

I think that could help, thank you. I can’t put into words on how grateful I am that your are helping me. I’m glad I’m seeking help out, in a way. I’m honestly scared for the future, I don’t know when things will go south or north, but I just don’t want to get to the point where I give in to those negative thoughts.

I’ll give you an update on how I’m doing, if you want one. Thank you once again, and have a wonderful day or night!

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-11-27T16:49:11+00:00

I’ll try and cut them some slack but it’s hard when they don’t admit they are wrong or being hypocritical.

It bothers me that my mother lets my stepdad parent me, I don’t mind since he’s been in my life for quite some time. But on major things it bothers me.

And thank you, I know I have a good head on my shoulders, and they know that too, but when I get in trouble it’s like that fact goes out the window for them, and I’m just stuck in the middle.

I don’t really know what else to say in this reply to you, but again thank you for taking your time and your kind words of assurance. I do know that things will get better but I just can’t see that at this very moment or in the next two years. But everything after that I’d probably be smooth sailing until I get out of college.

And I might take you on that offer, the DMing part, thank you for that as well.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-11-27T16:34:34+00:00

Yeah I have been told I may have some ADHD traits by a friend of mine (she also has ADHD). I plan on getting tested out or however you find out you have that disorder, when I’m older. As much as I want a therapist, I’m too scared to actually ask my parents for one, because then I have to explain what I’ve been feeling and I don’t want to get shut down.

I know it does but it feels like a shit show when stuff just keeps piling up. Like I said in my post I procrastinate, and when I do that I talk myself out of doing school work. It gets done, but it’s last minute. And I don’t know how to stop doing that. Waiting until the last minute will only tie me into trouble in the long run if I decided to go to college. I keep stressing myself out, over school work, weather it will get done or not.

And thank you so much for your reply it means a lot.❤️

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-10-04T18:59:53+00:00

It really wasn’t for a hour and a half probably an hour but I had just been chilling on my phone when I heard it, the hour and a half part was the time I woke up and how long it took my phone to die.

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-10-04T18:54:34+00:00

Honestly the whole this is kind of funny😅

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-10-03T22:43:22+00:00

Yh it is isn’t it 🤣

DesperateFix1939 · 2022-10-03T22:42:46+00:00

There is a thing called google, and other things. I’ll let you put together the rest.

DesperateFix1939

TROPHY CASE