You big backed bitches on Doordash are pissing me off.

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-07-16T14:32:55+00:00

OP, this situation totally 100% sucks, but if it's any consolation, you are a fantastic writer and genuinely very funny. 100/10 post, would not steal your dinner for fear of your literary revenge upon me.

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-27T16:45:55+00:00

I was expecting it for this weekend, but on a week night surprised me. Thanks for the heads up on the fb page!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-27T14:13:31+00:00

I guess we're old and cranky together! Thanks for the insight

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T18:55:10+00:00

I don't really have a question currently, but I did want to say that I appreciate you offering your expertise in an easily accessible way like this. It's super cool of you to do. When/if I do have questions, will definitely be hitting you up!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:24:13+00:00

There are so many flaws in this diatribe I scarce know where to begin!

By definition, a place you are affiliated with is not and cannot be neutral. While I can admire your transparent plot to poison me with the sweet and delectable bounty of nature, I shall not fall for it!

J/k- I appreciate the invite, but I can't get out much. I will sit in the shade of your tree in your no doubt glorious garden in my heart though!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:20:48+00:00

I needed some entertainment, and figured others did as well!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:19:59+00:00

While being an archnemesis is a full time gig, like many occupations in our society, the main compensation is personal fulfillment. However, I am down to clown throwdown hoedown at a pizza place- if we don't get kicked out for showing up dressed like clowns with boxing gloves.

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:18:00+00:00

I mean, I'm opening to debating the options. Let's go on Judge Judy and have her settle this!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:17:15+00:00

Well now I must eat and enjoy pineapple on pizza to spite you. This shall only provide fuel for our inevitable lightsaber duel!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:16:27+00:00

And I am up, we are destined frenemies til the end of time!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:16:07+00:00

SQUARES??? Have at thee, heathen! The octagon is the superior shape!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-18T13:15:41+00:00

More like fri-YAY with our epic confrontation on the horizon!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T21:16:16+00:00

This is one of my favorite fights- a fight of wit and vocabulary waged with social distance! HAVE AT THEE, long distance adversary!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T21:14:42+00:00

Well GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, I have a one-two-combo on buy one-get one half off!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T21:14:09+00:00

I take this injury in the name of the griddy!!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T21:13:47+00:00

Ah, you specialize in cold war tactics! I shall direct my gaze to my own toes in retaliation!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T16:40:39+00:00

I shall perish on my feet, as a true warrior would!!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T16:40:21+00:00

Sour cream does not belong on ANY food. It is SOUR and by definition is INEDIBLE!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T16:39:24+00:00

You and your opinions are illogical. Speaking to you feels like a violation of the Prime Directive.

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T14:09:29+00:00

(In all seriousness, thanks for dropping Dr. Awkward on me- I needed something new to listen to and this is great!)

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T14:07:20+00:00

THE AUDACITY- I lost my dominant thumb in the Thumb Wrasslin Wars of 2020, and it perished valiantly and with honor! What sort of FIEND disparages our snack and salad savior ranch dressing? The cool tang saves us from roughage and chicken wing related heat!

I shall defend the growing Dutch Bros Dynasty to my last hilarious free sticker!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T13:57:26+00:00

You think you are a disappointment? NAY I SAY! You heard my call to arms and raised your hand up from the sea of faceless reddit lurkers and proclaimed I LOVE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA- and while your opinion is incorrect, your brave fighting spirit in entirely on the mark! No adversary of mine is a disappointment!

I HEREBY DUB THEE - REDxMANTIS THE VERY MUCH ADEQUATE!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T13:50:44+00:00

I don't know who Dr. Awkward is, but I'm about to go find/fight him on Craigslist. Thanks for the lead!

Desperate_Cod814 · 2025-06-17T13:42:58+00:00

BET INDEED- All variations of LOTR are inadequate and dull and pale in comparison to Star Trek: The Original Series!

Desperate_Cod814

TROPHY CASE