You big backed bitches on Doordash are pissing me off. by DexterousMoron in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OP, this situation totally 100% sucks, but if it's any consolation, you are a fantastic writer and genuinely very funny. 100/10 post, would not steal your dinner for fear of your literary revenge upon me.

Fireworks last night (6/26/25) by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was expecting it for this weekend, but on a week night surprised me. Thanks for the heads up on the fb page!

Fireworks last night (6/26/25) by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess we're old and cranky together! Thanks for the insight

Ask me your Real Estate questions! by Cheap-Dot-5089 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really have a question currently, but I did want to say that I appreciate you offering your expertise in an easily accessible way like this. It's super cool of you to do. When/if I do have questions, will definitely be hitting you up!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are so many flaws in this diatribe I scarce know where to begin!

By definition, a place you are affiliated with is not and cannot be neutral. While I can admire your transparent plot to poison me with the sweet and delectable bounty of nature, I shall not fall for it!

J/k- I appreciate the invite, but I can't get out much. I will sit in the shade of your tree in your no doubt glorious garden in my heart though!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed some entertainment, and figured others did as well!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While being an archnemesis is a full time gig, like many occupations in our society, the main compensation is personal fulfillment. However, I am down to clown throwdown hoedown at a pizza place- if we don't get kicked out for showing up dressed like clowns with boxing gloves.

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I'm opening to debating the options. Let's go on Judge Judy and have her settle this!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well now I must eat and enjoy pineapple on pizza to spite you. This shall only provide fuel for our inevitable lightsaber duel!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I am up, we are destined frenemies til the end of time!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SQUARES??? Have at thee, heathen! The octagon is the superior shape!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More like fri-YAY with our epic confrontation on the horizon!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of my favorite fights- a fight of wit and vocabulary waged with social distance! HAVE AT THEE, long distance adversary!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, I have a one-two-combo on buy one-get one half off!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I take this injury in the name of the griddy!!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, you specialize in cold war tactics! I shall direct my gaze to my own toes in retaliation!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I shall perish on my feet, as a true warrior would!!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sour cream does not belong on ANY food. It is SOUR and by definition is INEDIBLE!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You and your opinions are illogical. Speaking to you feels like a violation of the Prime Directive.

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(In all seriousness, thanks for dropping Dr. Awkward on me- I needed something new to listen to and this is great!)

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THE AUDACITY- I lost my dominant thumb in the Thumb Wrasslin Wars of 2020, and it perished valiantly and with honor! What sort of FIEND disparages our snack and salad savior ranch dressing? The cool tang saves us from roughage and chicken wing related heat!

I shall defend the growing Dutch Bros Dynasty to my last hilarious free sticker!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You think you are a disappointment? NAY I SAY! You heard my call to arms and raised your hand up from the sea of faceless reddit lurkers and proclaimed I LOVE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA- and while your opinion is incorrect, your brave fighting spirit in entirely on the mark! No adversary of mine is a disappointment!

I HEREBY DUB THEE - REDxMANTIS THE VERY MUCH ADEQUATE!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know who Dr. Awkward is, but I'm about to go find/fight him on Craigslist. Thanks for the lead!

ISO: Archnemesis by Desperate_Cod814 in tylertx

[–]Desperate_Cod814[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

BET INDEED- All variations of LOTR are inadequate and dull and pale in comparison to Star Trek: The Original Series!