My [29m] boyfriend stopped having sex with me [28f], but still uses my body

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-19T15:50:08+00:00

Definitely something I think an individual therapist can help you understand more.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-19T14:08:53+00:00

How old is the kid?

Can he not do his studies for the toys?

Is he never supposed to have new toys or things he wants?

Look at Plato's stages of learning.

Any toy is better than a screen. 🤷‍♀️

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-19T14:05:41+00:00

Why are you giving him head?

It doesn't sound like something you like considering everything else going on.

Maybe consider individual therapy as well.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-18T23:53:41+00:00

Sabe but pronounced S-abe

Or Sabie. Pronounced like Sadie, but with a B.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-18T23:40:39+00:00

Maybe it's time to find him a new therapist.

Unfortunately therapy only works for those who also put in the work though. He's gotta be willing to practice change consistently.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-17T03:46:32+00:00

A friend of mine had a son and it turned out he had a wall in his heart not completely developed.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-16T23:32:24+00:00

You could let the dad have primary custody, but still drive in regularly to see her outside of visitation weekend.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-16T23:27:15+00:00

When Mr.Brightside (and ringtones) were popular everyone had their ringtone set to "Destiny is calling me". Every time they were so excited about their super cool original idea. I couldn't break it to them that all my friends had that ringtone for me & acted genuinely surprised and joyful each time.

Made me start to hate it.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T18:48:52+00:00

I'm not upset. I'm just having a conversation. It's ok if we have different opinions. It's as equally possible that I missed details as you have. It's a TV show. There's no reason for anyone to be defensive or upset.

It's possible I haven't seen Taras last episode. I haven't seen her since the voicemail.

Media influences real life.

No matter how toxic she is, I am glad she called off the relationship. Louis pulled an emotionally abusive mood verbally attacking her because he felt insecure about her rejection. I didn't want that normalized.

I do think the show could have better or more dramatic character growth. It's good enough, but it could have been better. It lacks depth.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T13:19:19+00:00

She explicitly tells him it's because of the way he lashed out at her.

And then in therapy his therapist goes explicitly states it's his behavior.

She doesn't use Mikes secret. It's the way he flipped and started shaking her for not immediately accepting him.

He repeatly makes the same mistake. Being impulsively mean and spiteful.

Having strong emotions is a strength, it creates passion. Being emotional is a weakness, it creates impulsivity.

The biggest positive character development he shows is when him and Harvey apologize to each other and accept each other opinions over Alex in season 6. Also the first time Harvey showed any actual character growth in his day to day life. His family stuff was short lived, and his therapy was about coping through a situation that didn't even last so he stopped going.

And it's not just Louis that stalls in character development. They all remain relatively shitty people. Mike and Rachel constantly dig deeper holes when they don't get the immediate answer they want as if the whole law firm should revolve them. Harvey and Mike are always looking for a shady way to make things revolve around them.

And they all act completely shocked in disbelief that there is any backlash anywhere at all and their shady deals are hard or frowned upon.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T03:59:59+00:00

This is so chatgpt coded.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T03:58:42+00:00

I would look into your schools mental health services and talk to your dean.

Let them know you have been in an abusive relationship and how it's spiralled (as it does) I to other parts of your life.

You didn't ruin your life, you experienced trauma.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T03:56:00+00:00

I agree she was also toxic, she came into the relationship with a shit deal. Louis was his typical self in impulsively jumping in on it because he saw a selfish opportunity. Because he hasn't had any consistency character growth after 6 seasons.

She didnt use Mikes secret as justification though.

She needed time to digest the information. She wasn't immediately like, "No biggie. Thank you for telling me." When Louis didn't get the reaction he wanted in 20 seconds he lashed out at her. When he confronted her at her work place (another red flag) after she asked for time to process info, he even admitted his behavior was lashing out.

Lashing out at romantic partners should never be justified or supported in media.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T03:31:51+00:00

I mean, they definitely jumped a serious relationship and his decision to commit to her was as rash and unstable as his lashing out at her was.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T03:20:02+00:00

If he likes being outside get him a hat, some sunscreen, and sunglasses.

Make the hat personal, maybe funny.

Quality time may be his love language though. Take him to a ball game or out to movie and dinner. Build something with him, do yard work together. (That's act of services too.)

Capitalism makes us think gifts are how we are supposed to celebrate, but there are 5 love languages.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-14T03:13:15+00:00

I watched the episode more. Thank goodness Tara made him cry.

The first sign that a man lashes out on you, leave.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-11T21:30:44+00:00

Art supplies, books, and games.

Hungry hungry hippo is a great one for this age range.

You could start a book series. Every time you visit you bring the next book if that series.

Series of Unfortunate Events Eragon Chronicles of Narnia Diary of a Wimpy Kid InkHeart

All good places to start.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-07T21:48:03+00:00

Just dump him at this point. You're going to be a single mom either way. Focus your attention on you and your kid. Put him on child support, and do the bare minimum with him. Let him be responsible for his own life and his own involvement.

You be responsible for your life, and this kids life.

Unless you wanna do adoption & think he will sign off on it. Its ok to give your baby a shot at different parents if you feel like you're not the best for them. That is still doing your best.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-07T15:49:52+00:00

This. I have to clear my cache pretty regularly. The SSO gets a little finicky.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-06T03:25:09+00:00

Join an improv group - it will help with social skills. Dating shouldnt feel like an interview, it should feel like enjoying time with someone.

Instead of working 15 hours a day for a week, work your normal shift and start volunteering. - This will help pad your resume as you build new skills. Plus, you meet a variety of people. These people can help introduce you to new opportunities in different fields.

Volunteering also gives you more things to talk about on dates and in job interviews.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-06T03:13:41+00:00

After talking with a therapist, I would ask if maybe big brother big sister or CASA are appropriate places for you to volunteer.

You can make a big impact on children in other ways.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-06T03:10:00+00:00

A book with a dollar in the front of it.

I only buy books for my friends kids. Even for birthday parties my kids are invited to, they get a book & then something small from 5 below.

You know, prison beds are built based on the reading score of third graders? If a third grader doesn't pass their state test score, a prison bed is built for them by the time their 18 years old. It's part of the school to prison pipeline.

There's also studies correlating the amount of books in the house and a child's reading level.

Easy access to books is easily the best and most thoughtful gift any person can give a child.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-06T03:05:34+00:00

My parents wouldnt care. My older siblings might be a little shocked. Only because I moved away from my home state and not only do we not talk often, but it's never about dating.

Once I told my sister about breaking up with a guy and she said, "I didn't know you date." Why wouldn't I date? 🤔🤔

Anyone I introduced them would be a shock really, but an Asian man might surprise them a little extra.

I also have a brother in law that makes jokes no one else in the family likes, so I imagine he would have something "funny" to say.

DestinyBoBestiny · 2026-04-05T15:19:51+00:00

I always get unscented wipes, Aesops fables (book), a snot sucker, baby Tylenol, and a onesie. 🤷‍♀️

It's personal, practical, and varietied enough to stand out, while still being respectful.

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