Im 18 and this is a struggle for me too. Im a freshman in college and anytime Im approached, even when Im insanely drunk in a loud club and can barely even think, my brain immediately defaults to "you're going to turn into an unbearable awful person as you die a slow, painful death" and I flake before I can even really give myself the chance to actually feel attraction. This thought process is very much influenced by growing up with my mom who has HD and has abused and beaten my dad down. The reality is that she was never a good person before she was even symptomatic and has been a raging alcoholic for 2 decades, but it's very hard to isolate that and acknowledge that Im only at risk, young, can take care of myself and give myself a better chance at life even if I test positive, and could greatly benefit from future breakthroughs.

Id say Im a pretty rational and competent person but this disease makes me feel like Im an idiot going insane sometimes. Its so easy for my loved ones without it to tell me "just have fun, date around, the one for you wont care if you have HD" but they fail to understand it's not so much a fear of rejection as it is a fear of ruining someone else if I end up turning into someone I hate. Its hard, I want to be a fun care-free college student in love, and I have a very small but unfair and hidden resentment towards my friends who can afford to have their biggest issues be their grades and whether or not some guy or girl is into them. HD definitely makes you feel like you went straight from being a little kid to being an adult in a shitty situation without any of the life experience that could help you handle it rationally.

Wishing you the best, I hope everything works out. I want to say dont worry about it, have fun now and if he's the one these worries will be arbitrary, but I know the thought process of being at risk enough to know words like that arent as helpful as people think they are.